


Hit and Run

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-03-01
Updated: 2000-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Kudos: 1
Collections: TER/MA





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> Disclaimers: We just borrowed them for the evening. Notes: This is chat fluff...not meant to be taken seriously, but to give a little snicker. Hopefully.

  
**Hit and Run  
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie**

  
**< HandyMan>** Surfing the web on a Friday night? Do you _ever_ get out?

**< FWMldr>** Excuse me? 

**< HandyMan>** All work and no play makes Spooky a dull boy, you know.

**< FWMldr>** Do I know you? 

**< HandyMan>** Well, certainly not in the Biblical sense, but yeah, you know me.

**< FWMldr>** Langley? 

**< HandyMan>** Nope. I have much better hair.

**< FWMldr>** Skinner? 

**< HandyMan>** Such wit! You do need to get out more.

**< FWMldr>** Okay, I'll bite. Who is this? 

**< HandyMan>** And you're famed for your remarkable intuition and spooky knowledge? I'm disappointed.

**< FWMldr>** Well, I'm not known for being a fucking psychic, so either you tell me who this is or I sign off. 

**< FWMldr>** Besides, there's only one person I can think of and he wouldn't be harassing me online. 

**< HandyMan>** Tsk, tsk. Such language. Well, I'm bigger than a breadbox, smaller than an alien bounty hunter.

**< HandyMan>** What, you don't think I have the requisite computer skills? I'm hurt.

**< FWMldr>** What do you want? 

**< HandyMan>** Well, you still haven't positively identified me.

**< FWMldr>** I know who you are, you bastard. Wait, why the hell am I still talking to you? Go play your games somewhere else. 

**< HandyMan>** Um, because you have no life, and chatting with me is the most interesting thing you could possibly do right now?

**< FWMldr>** Fine, Mr. Social Life....why the hell are you online on a Friday night? Did your date cancel? 

**< HandyMan>** Nah, too busy to date right now. 

**< FWMldr>** Of course. How long did it take you to come up with that excuse? 

**< HandyMan>** Hey, no one appreciates how much fighting for world domination, not to mention betraying people left and right, cuts into your social life.

**< FWMldr>** I'll ask one more time. What do you want? 

**< HandyMan>** Well, that world domination thing, another Swiss bank account, a decent blow job. What do you want Fox?

**< FWMldr>** Krycek, I really don't care about your personal life. Do you have more information for me or is this just the way you waste your valuable time? 

**< HandyMan>** Oh, don't worry, I'm not wasting time. I've time to kill while I wait for this encryption program to do it's magic.

**< FWMldr>** What are you talking about? 

**< HandyMan>** Nothing you need to worry about. I cracked the FBI database ages ago.

**< FWMldr>** Okay, Krycek, as much as this has been a blast, I'm going to have to say goodbye. 

**< HandyMan>** Such a slut for information. Okay, here's some. Aliens are trying to take over the world, and you shouldn't trust that chain-smoking bastard. Happy? Can we chat some more now?

**< FWMldr>** Are you drunk? 

**< HandyMan>** Nah, it's a weak habit. I'm high on life.

**< FWMldr>** Then why do you want to chat with me? More importantly, what makes you think I'd want to chat with you? 

**< HandyMan>** I'm bored, this little project of mine is taking longer than I thought, and if nothing else, you're always amusing. And you shouldn't discount my charming wit or obvious sex appeal.

**< FWMldr>** Hah! Okay, you're barking up the wrong tree, Krycek. They have chat rooms for what you're looking for...and quite a few websites, if the rumors are true... 

**< HandyMan>** Methinks you do protest to much. But can you give me the urls anyway?

**< FWMldr>** You're a smart guy. Do a search. 

**< HandyMan>** I'd love to know what you think is worthy of recommendation though. You being a connoisseur of such things...

**< FWMldr>** Well...what are you into? 

**< HandyMan>** Stubborn FBI agents with animal names and pouty lower lips.

**< FWMldr>** Try www.inyourdreams.com Come on, Krycek...even you can't think that would work. 

**< HandyMan>** Ha. Your wit slays me. And, as I've told you before, I do believe in extreme possibilities.

**< FWMldr>** Well, good, because that would have to be the most extreme thing you've ever believed in. 

**< HandyMan>** You know, I don't think so. I know how you look at me, you can't say the thought's never crossed your mind. And, I could point out a few hard truths about sexual desire masqueraded as violent impulse. But that would be too obvious.

**< FWMldr>** LOL Wow, Krycek...so you've taken some psych classes at the local community college. Good for you! 

**< FWMldr>** Not to say you're right, of course....but nice try. 

**< HandyMan>** Well, if you can't bear to think I'm your intellectual equal, I could care less. But my educational background was at least true.

**< FWMldr>** Krycek, I know how intelligent you are....that's why I don't understand what you think you're doing. Your kiss notwithstanding, I think you'd be hard pressed to seduce me...especially online. So, what else are you up to? 

**< HandyMan>** I told you —I'm hacking into a database you're best not knowing about. And I'm bored. And horny. No need to change the subject.

**< FWMldr>** Was I changing the subject? I'm sorry. So, you're horny and you thought the best way to relieve this would be to somehow convince me to cyber with you? I have to admire your confidence. 

**< HandyMan>** Confident? Rash? It's a fine line. Indulge me.

**< FWMldr>** I don't think so. Don't worry, blue balls never killed anyone. 

**< HandyMan>** Well, I'm already working on that —multi-tasking, you know — but some additional stimulation from you would be nice.

**< FWMldr>** Okay....how about thinking about Scully in a teddy? Does that do anything for you? 

**< HandyMan>** Hmmm. Has potential, but I think I'll save it for another time.

**< FWMldr>** Really? You'd go for Scully? 

**< HandyMan>** Who wouldn't?

**< FWMldr>** Well, I wouldn't but that's just because I can't see her that way. 

**< HandyMan>** Your loss. But back to you. I can't stop thinking about your mouth tonight. Sometimes it's your hands, other times, that skimpy Speedo, but it's definitely your mouth tonight. 

**< FWMldr>** Oh really? What's so special about my mouth? 

**< HandyMan>** Fishing, are you? Okay, it's shape —especially that lower lip. 

When you're nervous you lick it, I used to imagine the moisture was my precum, staining it right before I filled you with my cock, sliding down your throat, holding you by the hair and fucking you hard.

**< FWMldr>** okay...that's a visual... 

**< HandyMan>** Here's another... I'm stroking my cock right now, it's aching it's so hard. I'm circling my palm over the tip, spreading the moisture, pretending it's your mouth wetting it, licking it. When I close my eyes I can see you kneeling in front of me.

**< FWMldr>** Krycek...I'm not going to do this.... 

**< HandyMan>** Stop thinking so much. Go with it. You're on your knees, your mouth almost where I want it, but you're teasing me, long slow swipes of your tongue, glancing kisses, your fingers ghosting over my balls, the crack of my ass... 

**< HandyMan>** Tag, Mulder, you're it.

**< FWMldr>** Tell me, Krycek, how many nights have you jerked off while fantasizing about me? I'd be flattered if you weren't such a scum-sucking son of a bitch. 

**< HandyMan>** Quite a few, really. I'd say you were in my top ten.

**< FWMldr>** Is that so? That's pretty sad, really. Can't get any real life people to pay you any attention? 

**< HandyMan>** One night stands do get stale. I'm sure you can appreciate that my line of work doesn't exactly lend itself to attachments. What's your excuse?

**< FWMldr>** I have no interest in forming attachments. They'll just leave me, anyway. At least my right hand is permanently attached. 

**< HandyMan>** Yes, yes, everyone you love leaves or betrays you, I know the drill. But you being needy and self-pitying doesn't really work with the fantasy I've got going.

**< FWMldr>** It doesn't? You mean, the idea of me being completely vulnerable and trusting never fits into your fantasies? 

**< HandyMan>** No, I'll leave that kink to the pirhanas you call girlfriends and partners. 

**< FWMldr>** Careful, you sound jealous 

**< HandyMan>** Nah, just realistic —stating the facts, you know. So, why are you still talking to me? I mean considering your frequently expressed lack of interest? I'd hazard a guess, but being the uneducated thug I am, I'm sure I'd be wrong.

**< FWMldr>** no, please. go right ahead. 

**< HandyMan>** I'd much rather you enlightened me with your delightful, Oxford education. Besides, I'm curious about why _you_ think you haven't logged off yet.

**< FWMldr>** Well, like you said, I have nothing better to do on a Friday night. It's either be amused by you or look up information on the flesh-eating virus. You're slightly less nauseating, so here I am. 

**< HandyMan>** You sweet flatterer, you.

**< FWMldr>** I'm known for my charm. 

**< HandyMan>** Well, it's unnecessary. You had me at hello.

**< FWMldr>** Okay, that made me laugh. Seriously, you don't really expect anything to happen, do you? 

**< HandyMan>** I live in hope.

**< FWMldr>** so, besides me being on my knees with your cock in my mouth, what else do you hope for? 

**< HandyMan>** World peace?

**< FWMldr>** really? I was hoping you'd say something about you bent over my desk with my cock up your ass. Oh well. World peace has a certain charm, I suppose. 

**< HandyMan>** You were hoping for that? Progress at last!

**< FWMldr>** Hey, I'm human. Reading the right words can give me a hard-on like any guy. With that comes fantasies.... 

**< HandyMan>** Fantasies? Do tell. I'm intrigued.

**< FWMldr>** sorry, Krycek. I've said too much. I'll leave the graphic descriptions to you. Besides, I'm not as desperate as you are. 

**< HandyMan>** Not as desperate? I think you're projecting.

**< FWMldr>** Am I? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the one who started coming on to me because you're horny? 

**< HandyMan>** Okay, I'll concede that much, I suppose. So, just to get the record straight —you're at least admitting to being a willing audience for my desperate fantasies?

**< FWMldr>** Why not? I can blame it on boredom and not enough blood to the brain. 

**< HandyMan>** Anything as long as you don't admit that you want to hear this, I suppose?

**< FWMldr>** You got it in one. 

**< HandyMan>** I like a man who can be honest about his own delusions. Charming, really.

**< FWMldr>** And charming you is high on my list of priorities, Krycek. 

**< HandyMan>** I'm flattered. Well, going back to your comment about the desk... It's not really your cock up my ass that I'm fantasizing about right now. Have you ever been fucked, Fox? I like to imagine you haven't. Maybe you've indulged in a few secret explorations of your own, sweaty nights on your couch, frantically stroking your cock with one hand while you use the other to send greedy fingers exploring, searching for that one spot, the one that makes you tremble and buck, sending semen shooting all over your hand.

**< FWMldr>** Hmmm....don't tell me, you want to go where no man has gone before.... 

**< HandyMan>** Sure, why not? It's my fantasy —you're just the bored voyeur.

**< FWMldr>** right....right.... okay, so what's your set up? 

**< HandyMan>** Well, let's see... I'll go back to where I'm fucking your face. I'm lost in your mouth, and I know I'm holding your hair too tightly, slamming too hard into you, but I'm almost to far gone to care. One of my thrusts is too much for you, and I'm brought back to reality when I feel, then hear, you gag. I pull out and stare down at you as you shudder and cough. I almost feel a little bad about it, but then I look down and see how hard you are, how your neglected cock is straining upwards, begging for attention.

**< FWMldr>** you... you know... if you ever made me gag...I'd have to kick your ass... 

**< HandyMan>** Would you? I'd like to test that sometime.

**< FWMldr>** Right. 

**< HandyMan>** Well, at least that's not an outright no. Anyway, it's my fantasy, so, you're still coughing a bit, but haven't kicked my ass. I pull you up, and push you back onto your couch (we're in your apartment for this one, I think). I run a hand lightly along your cock and you moan, pushing upward, seeking more. I'm in a generous mood, so I bend over you and take your cock deep, sucking and licking, showing you exactly how it's done.

**< FWMldr>** oh god.... 

**< FWMldr>** sorry, that slipped 

**< HandyMan>** No apologies necessary. So, let's see. I'm still sucking you, but it's just a distraction for you really. I begin caressing your balls with my hand, before stroking behind them, moving carefully upwards. My finger glances against the puckered opening and you buck up into my mouth. (Note, however, that I still don't gag.) On the crest of your moan, I shove the finger inside of you and revel in the feeling of you opening up, taut muscles rippling and grasping my finger as I insinuate a second inside you.

**< FWMldr>** I push against your finger, only aware of the heat of your mouth on my cock and the pressure of you pushing your finger inside me... I don't know what feels better.... 

**< FWMldr>** Um, that slipped too 

**< HandyMan>** You're cracking... at last! Okay, with two fingers inside you now, I angle up and push. You shout and push yourself even further down my throat. I'm suddenly aware of how violently your thighs are trembling, how close to the edge you are. I pull my mouth away and you whimper at the loss, your cock straining helplessly into the air.

**< FWMldr>** don't get too cocky... I'm taking pity on you. I want to feel your mouth on me again, but when I look in your eyes, I can tell you have something else in mind.... 

**< HandyMan>** Ah! The infamous Spooky intuition —right as usual. My other hand reaches for the surface of the coffee table and scrambles for a bottle of lube (yes, in my fantasies, such necessities are always readily available). Flipping open the cap, I carefully coat my cock with it, my fingers in your ass giving a few last lingering strokes. Pulling them out, I begin pushing my cock against your open, fluttering hole.

**< FWMldr>** oh god...it's almost too much and I resist at first...but as I adjust, it starts to feel so good... my body relaxes and I hear myself groan as you slide into me... 

**< HandyMan>** I've got such tight rein on myself, holding back, waiting for you to adjust, that it's almost become painful. When I feel you begin to relax, I let out a sigh of relief that turns into a moan. Grabbing your hips, I pull your further onto my lap and begin pounding, wanting, needing, to get deeper, further inside you.

**< FWMldr>** I've never felt anything like this before...I want more of you inside me and I meet each thrust, wanting as much of you as possible.. My cock is aching and I move my hand down to grasp it. 

**< HandyMan>** Oh good, you've got things in hand then —which is fortunate, because I've got to go. My encryption program came through, and I'm in. 

Have a good night, Foxy. I enjoyed it.

* * *

March 2000  
Disclaimers: We just borrowed them for the evening.  
Rating: NC-17 for m/m smuttiness  
Summary: Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.  
Notes: This is chat fluff...not meant to be taken seriously, but to give a little snicker. Hopefully.  
Feedback: bb[email removed]   
---


	2. Part II: Whiplash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run II**

Whiplash   
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie 

  
**< AlexK>** Another Friday night in front of the computer, Mulder? I worry about you.

**< FMldr>** And why aren't you out tonight? Not too much interest in one-armed killers where you live?

**< AlexK>** No, no one seems to appreciate cold-blooded killers like they used to... It's my cross to bear, I suppose.

**< FMldr>** Guess so. So, may I ask why you're bothering me?

**< AlexK>** Well, bothering you was so much fun last time.

**< FMldr>** Was it? I don't remember.

**< AlexK>** Oh, don't tell me you're claiming missing time.

**< FMldr>** Hardly, though I'm sure being abducted would have been much more stimulating than talking to you.

**< AlexK>** A palpable hit!! You wound me.

**< FMldr>** You say that like it's a bad thing.

**< AlexK>** No, not at all. I'm quite amused, really. You're cute when you're in denial.

**< FMldr>** Denial? What are you smoking, Krycek?

**< AlexK>** Straight tobacco —nothing fun.

**< FMldr>** Careful, that'll kill you. Oh, wait..go right ahead.

**< AlexK>** Your concern is touching.

**< FMldr>** Uh huh. I'm sure it is. Now, unless you have anything interesting to say, I'm afraid I have to say goodnight.

**< AlexK>** Oh, well, I certainly wouldn't want to bore you. Sweet dreams, Foxy.

**< FMldr>** Goodnight, Krycek.

**< AlexK>** You're still logged on Mulder.

**< FMldr>** I said I was going to say goodnight, not that I was logging off. I still have work to do online.

**< AlexK>** Work? Or are you just surfing some of those sites you're so fond of?

**< FMldr>** Who says I can't do both?

**< AlexK>** Multi-tasking? Or have you finally found your holy grail —an XFile that's intimately involved in the porn world?

**< FMldr>** Well, admittedly, that would be the case to end all cases, but if you must know, I'm doing a search for UFO sightings in Brazil. That's it. What are you doing?

**< AlexK>** Oh, Brazil's a red-herring, Mulder. Don't waste your time. Not much, actually. Still analyzing some of the data I got last time we chatted.

**< FMldr>** And I'm supposed to take your word about what is and isn't true? Get real. And what data would that be?

**< AlexK>** Nothing to concern your pretty head about. You just concentrate on the fabricated Brazilian situation.

**< FMldr>** Well, thank you. Now, if there isn't anything else...

**< AlexK>** Why so eager to end this? I'd almost think you were angry with me or something...

**< FMldr>** Krycek, I know you're not a stupid man, so I'm going to chalk that idiotic statement up to you trying to get at something. Why the hell would I want to talk to you?

**< AlexK>** Tsk. Tsk. So hostile. Why *wouldn't* you want to talk to me?

**< FMldr>** Let's see. Well, we hate each other, or at least I hate you. Whatever feelings you may have for me will have to remain suppressed, I'm afraid.

**< AlexK>** Oh please Mulder. Don't make the juvenile mistake of equating healthy lust with *feelings*.

**< FMldr>** Is that what I was doing? You know, your "healthy lust" notwithstanding, I was actually referring to this need you have to make contact with me for no other reason than to be insulted or beaten by me.

**< AlexK>** You're forgetting one other reason I might have. You *do* remember the last conversation we had? Despite the liberality of your insults, you were a pretty hot participant toward the end. Once you got past your maidenly protestations and ridiculous inhibitions.

**< FMldr>** You bought that? Wow, I'm better than I thought.

**< AlexK>** You think I'd care if you were pretending or humoring me, as long as I got what I wanted? Because, whether you're comfortable admitting it or not, you did give me what I wanted, what I'd been asking for.

**< FMldr>** Playing along with your game, you mean? I've learned that's sometimes the best way to get rid of an annoyance.

**< AlexK>** Well, give in again, and I promise to go away once you've satisfied me. Since it would just be you playing along, of course. Not anything you'd mean, or want.

**< FMldr>** What kind of man would be satisfied with someone, *knowing* that person was faking? But, we are talking about you...I'm sure people fake it with you all the time, so you would be used to it.

**< AlexK>** Oh, but Mulder —this is cybering. I'm sure you're much more knowledgeable about the practice than you might claim. You never know what the other person is really doing, actually feeling. It's beside the point. Believe me, if I were with you in person, you wouldn't be faking it. And I'd be sure of it.

**< FMldr>** I never claimed I wasn't knowledgeable when it comes to cybering. Actually, that's why I was able to tell you what you wanted and have you believe me. Trust me, kid, there's not a damn thing you could do to make me want you.

**< AlexK>** God, suddenly I feel so used.

**< FMldr>** LOL! Does anyone actually believe you when you say shit like that to them?

**< AlexK>** No one believes me when I say anything these days. I can't quite figure it out, but I'm thinking it might have something to do with my line of work.

**< FMldr>** You know, I think that's the first smart thing you've said all evening. Good for you.

**< AlexK>** And that's the first nice thing you've said to me. Of course, you're probably just telling me what I want to hear again. Tell me some more things I might want to hear.

**< FMldr>** What you're not getting is that I don't want to say what you want to hear. I don't want to be nice.

**< AlexK>** Oh, but Mulder —nice isn't what I really want from you...

**< FMldr>** Are we doing this again, Krycek? No sale.

**< AlexK>** You're just no fun.

**< FMldr>** Never claimed to be.

**< AlexK>** Which is even sadder. You might want to work on that. At this rate, you'll definitely be dying alone.

**< FMldr>** And you'll be dying young. Any other pearls of wisdom you care to share?

**< AlexK>** Only the good.... And, nah. Throwing pearls before swine is such a waste.

**< FMldr>** If you have such a high opinion of me, why are you still talking to me?

**< AlexK>** You do fish for compliments, don't you?? I've told you before —you amuse me.

**< FMldr>** Well, I seem to amuse a lot of people. Guess I'll add you to the list.

**< AlexK>** I'm honored.

**< FMldr>** Don't be. You're not in good company.

**< AlexK>** Well, not by your definition anyway. Who else is on the list?

**< FMldr>** It would be easier to tell you who isn't on it.

**< AlexK>** Awww! Poor Mulder. So very misunderstood.

**< FMldr>** Fuck you, Krycek.

**< AlexK>** If I squint at that, I can almost pretend you're talking dirty to me...

**< FMldr>** Man, you have *got* to get laid.

**< AlexK>** You offering?

**< FMldr>** What do you think?

**< AlexK>** Ah. Good point.

**< FMldr>** I thought so.

**< AlexK>** So, finding anything interesting about the Brazil sighting? I can't believe you're falling for it.

**< FMldr>** I'm not looking up that stuff anymore.

**< AlexK>** Good. I figured you'd have to realize it was a set up when the primary witness was a 12 yr old boy who's sister had gone missing. Subtlety is really becoming a loss art. So, what are you looking up now?

**< FMldr>** None of your damn business.

**< AlexK>** Oh, now I'm intrigued. C'mon, save me the trouble of hacking into your computer, and just tell me.

**< FMldr>** Why should I? You can't tell me that finding out what I'm working on is more interesting than anything else you could be doing.

**< AlexK>** You underestimate yourself. Don't make me beg.

**< FMldr>** Now you've done it... Do you think I could possible resist the idea of you begging me for something?

**< AlexK>** Oh really? That sounds promising.

**< FMldr>** Down, boy. It's not as promising as you think. I just like the idea of you groveling for anything. I bet it suits you.

**< AlexK>** Yes, down on my knees, groveling before you, begging you to touch me, to let me touch you... that would suit me just fine.

**< FMldr>** Well, it is easier to kick you when you're down, I guess.

**< AlexK>** You are kinky.

**< FMldr>** Who've you been talking to?

**< AlexK>** Well, at least one of your ex's considers talking about your exploits to be foreplay...

**< FMldr>** Who would that be?

**< AlexK>** Oh, unlike her, I just don't kiss and tell.

**< FMldr>** 'Her'? I wouldn't believe anything she has to say.

**< AlexK>** Who do you think I'm talking about? To my knowledge, there are at least two women I know who could fit the bill.

**< FMldr>** Doesn't matter who it is. I don't trust either of them to tell you the truth.

**< AlexK>** Bright boy. You might stay alive yet.

**< FMldr>** Gee, is that a compliment, Krycek? Thanks...I've now reached a new low.

**< AlexK>** Happy to oblige.

**< FMldr>** I'm sure you are.

**< AlexK>** You know me too well. This new intimacy between us is great.

**< FMldr>** LOL Only you would call this intimacy.

**< AlexK>** Don't wreck my dreamworld. Surely you of all people can appreciate the lure of delusion.

**< FMldr>** Can I ask you a question?

**< AlexK>** Of course.

**< FMldr>** Why are you here? Other than to harass me, I mean. What are you getting out of this?

**< AlexK>** Oh, is it time to reassure you again already? Okay —Mulder, you're amusing. A unparalleled wit. The best chat buddy a man could hope for...

**< FMldr>** I'm being serious.

**< AlexK>** So am I.

**< FMldr>** I don't think you are.

**< AlexK>** Well, perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit. But you do amuse me. And intrigue me. You're one of the few people who can match wits with me, who challenges me. Is that enough?

**< FMldr>** I'm sure you have friends who would do that...assuming you actually *have* any friends.

**< AlexK>** No, I really don't have any friends. Again, my line of work doesn't really allow for it.

**< FMldr>** That's what I thought. Okay, you answered my question.

**< AlexK>** Glad to. So, can I ask you a question?

**< FMldr>** I guess.

**< AlexK>** Why are you chatting with me? I mean, considering all of your claims of hating me, being bored by me, being thoroughly disinterested in me —you're still here.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I know. I've been wondering that myself.

**< AlexK>** I know you Mulder. You've *got* to have a theory.

**< FMldr>** I do, actually. It's a little disturbing to me, though.

**< AlexK>** What is it?

**< FMldr>** I feel...

**< AlexK>** Okay, good start.

**< FMldr>** I feel sorry for you.

**< AlexK>** Awww. Gee, I'm touched.

**< FMldr>** You should be.

**< AlexK>** Well, though I'd hate to disabuse you of the one thing that might keep you chatting with me, Mulder, your pity's wasted on me. I don't need it or want it.

**< FMldr>** Well, you might not want it, but you really do need it. I mean, I thought I was pathetic, but it's nothing compared to how pathetic you are. As shitty as my life is, yours has got to be far worse. You're reduced to talking to someone who hates you because no one else will give you the time of day. You're a lonely loser who gets his kicks trying to engage in cybersex with someone who'd sooner spit in your face than look at you. ::shakes head:: It's sad, really. I guess I have this thing for lost causes and you're the biggest one I know.

**< AlexK>** You're making a lot of assumptions there, Fox.

**< FMldr>** Am I? Why don't you set me straight, then.

**< FMldr>** And don't call me Fox.

**< AlexK>** Sorry, *Mulder* —well, I could come clean, but it's not nearly as dramatic and interesting as your analysis.

**< FMldr>** I didn't think it was particularly dramatic. Just a few observations.

**< AlexK>** See, I thought it made us sound like characters out of a melodramatic novel. Me, the pathetic, miserable secret agent —paying for my sins through my empty, sterile, lonely existence. You, the stalwart hero —able to keep your white hat firmly in place while still demonstrating compassion and understanding for those you must fight against. It definitely has a better ring to it than the actual truth.

**< FMldr>** You're right, it does. And that truth would be...

**< AlexK>** Bugging you is amusing as hell. You see, the thing about you Fox, is that you don't do anything halfway. And your insatiable curiosity is a joy to behold. Yes, you hate me. But you can't leave it at that —you love having opportunities to prove it to me (to yourself) again and again. And knowing who I am, knowing what I probably know —you can't quite bring yourself to log off, because you never know what I might slip. So, basically, I just have fun fucking with your mind.

**< FMldr>** I see. And I assume you were able to type that with a straight face.

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: Believe what you have to.

**< FMldr>** I don't have to believe anything. Truth be told, you don't bug me, and fucking with my mind has been attempted by better people than you. Where they were successful, you're just an amateur. But don't feel too bad about that. If you want to believe you're annoying me, go ahead. I can play along.

**< AlexK>** Ah! Your compassion for my miserable state even extends to indulging my delusions. You are a prince among men, Fox.

**< FMldr>** No, I'm not. Like I said, I just feel sorry for you. And, if it makes you feel better, I'll tell you to stop calling me Fox. Because it bugs me.

**< AlexK>** Sorry. I'll stop. So, enough analysis. I feel so awfully exposed. What are you looking at on the web this evening?

**< FMldr>** Taking a break right now.

**< AlexK>** I have your undivided attention?

**< FMldr>** Not really...I'm checking out some more recreational sites.

**< AlexK>** Do tell.

**< FMldr>** <http://www.gallerygeorge.holowww.com/hunk3aa>

**< AlexK>** Nice, Mulder. You have unexpected depth. Which one is your favorite?

**< FMldr>** They all have a certain appeal.

**< AlexK>** They do, don't they? So, what thoughts do they inspire?

**< FMldr>** Gee, I don't know, Krycek. Insanely pure ones?

**< AlexK>** Hmmm. That wasn't my first guess. Try again.

**< FMldr>** Um, they remind me that I need to work out more?

**< AlexK>** Oh, you're just fishing again. There isn't a damn thing wrong with your ass.

**< FMldr>** I know, thanks. I was referring to the upper body, You know, back, shoulders, arms...both of them.

**< AlexK>** Low blow!! LOL What happened to feeling sorry for me?

**< FMldr>** I still feel sorry for you. That was a little jab to coincide with your idea about me letting you know how much I hate you.

**< AlexK>** Ah! Aren't those two impulses awfully contradictory, though?

**< FMldr>** Not really. My sympathy is forcing me to support your delusion.

**< AlexK>** Mulder, you're slipping. You're the one claiming the hatred for me.

**< FMldr>** I claim a lot of things. Doesn't make them true.

**< AlexK>** Dare I infer then that you *don't* hate me?

**< FMldr>** After much consideration, I've determined that hate is too strong an emotion to waste on you.

**< AlexK>** Well, as much as that deeply wounds me —poor, pathetic creature that I am —it's refreshing to see you dropping your pretense of pity.

**< FMldr>** Alex, it's not a pretense. You really do have my sympathy.

**< AlexK>** Hmmm. So, you pity me, yet enjoy being cruel. Fascinating.

**< FMldr>** I know. Oh, here's a good site for you. <http://members.tripod.com/~Leon1/overcome.html>

**< AlexK>** You're finally seeking help for your problem. Bravo, Mulder —you've done me proud.

**< FMldr>** Oh, I don't need help. I'm quite happy with my evil habit.

**< AlexK>** Oh, you're just being a hypocrite then. How disappointing.

**< FMldr>** No, I'm not. I thought it was amusing...I am here to amuse you, aren't I?

**< AlexK>** LOL! Chalk it up to a momentary lapse... This is damn amusing.

**< FMldr>** I know. Think you'd last a week?

**< AlexK>** Well, I could. But it wouldn't be much fun.

**< FMldr>** Really? I can't imagine you going a day!

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: It's been known to happen. I do get busy.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, me too.

**< AlexK>** Yeah, the circles we both travel in don't always lend themselves to sexual recreation.

**< FMldr>** True. And that *would* explain your insane need to try and turn me on in our little chats.

**< AlexK>** Well, my goal is a bit more selfish, really.

**< FMldr>** What would that be?

**< AlexK>** My own arousal and pleasure. I could get off on fucking you if you were lying at the ceiling and thinking of England. Now, before you accuse me of all sorts of nasty things, I will say that I'd much prefer you as an enthusiastic partner...

**< FMldr>** Why do you want to fuck me?

**< AlexK>** Ummmm. Because you're hot?

**< FMldr>** Besides that. I'm sure you know plenty of hot men.

**< AlexK>** I do, and I've enjoyed them. But the unexplored is always more tempting.

**< FMldr>** Then pick up some stranger. Why waste your time with me?

**< AlexK>** Because you're not completely unknown and more of a challenge. Not to mention how damn sexy you are. Few men can compare to you, you know. But, then, you don't really know that, do you? You don't really have any idea why I'd want you. Pity is becoming a mutual thing here.

**< FMldr>** You pity me because I don't know why you'd want me?

**< AlexK>** Basically. Or anyone for that matter, I suspect.

**< FMldr>** Oh, please, I think you're the only one who's stupid enough to want me.

**< AlexK>** Unless you're fishing again, I do pity you. Damn, Mulder, have you looked in a mirror lately?

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I have. That's my point.

**< AlexK>** Mulder, you're gorgeous.

**< FMldr>** Give me a break, Krycek.

**< AlexK>** No, you really are. I knew you were insecure, but I didn't know it went this deep. For one, you've got the body of a young Greek god. No, really. Your eyes are probably your best feature, though. Their color is so changeable, and they often leave your emotions so raw and exposed. It used to be so hard not to just drown in them. And your mouth. Well, I already told you what I thought about your mouth last time we chatted. Hell, you've even got good hair — well, at least when you're not chopping it off.

**< FMldr>** Wow. Add to that my wish for peace on earth and the way high heels make my legs look, and I could be Miss fucking Universe.

**< AlexK>** LOL I don't think so. I think you'd make one hell of an ugly woman. You're right about having nice legs, though.

**< FMldr>** Krycek....I know what you're doing.

**< AlexK>** What's that?

**< FMldr>** Trying to pull the same shit you did before.

**< AlexK>** Nah, actually I'm not. I was too shocked by your low self-esteem to be that calculating. I still can't believe you don't see this in yourself.

**< FMldr>** Oh my god. If you tell me to start saying daily affirmations, I'm outta here.

**< AlexK>** Well, I'm no Stuart Smalley. But god knows, I'd love to see you in front of mirror saying "Gosh darnit, people like me."

**< FMldr>** LOL You're crazy.

**< AlexK>** Pot calling the kettle black?

**< FMldr>** Of course. BTW, I really hope you don't expect me to reciprocate and tell you how hot you are. I'm sure you already know.

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: No need. I know I'm not unattractive. But I'm pleased you think I'm hot.

**< FMldr>** Well, don't let it go to your head.

**< AlexK>** Well, I can't promise anything, but I'll do my best.

**< FMldr>** Can I ask you another question?

**< AlexK>** Of course.

**< FMldr>** The last time we...talked. Why did you take off like that?

**< AlexK>** I told you why. Believe me, I'd rather have continued chatting.

**< FMldr>** Bullshit.

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: I know there's nothing I can say to make you believe me, but that really was why. You've got to know enough about hacking from those friends of yours to know that once I was in, I had a limited window of time to get what I needed. I'd been working on it for days. Surely you understand duty calling. But, if you think that's bullshit, why do *you* think I took off?

**< FMldr>** How did you put it? You were fucking with my mind....or trying to.

**< AlexK>** Nah, while fucking with your mind can be fun, cybering with you was much better. I was sorry to leave. Really.

**< FMldr>** Right. Well, like I said, I don't really care, but I just wondered.

**< AlexK>** Oh, but I think you do care. Why else would you have brought it up?

**< FMldr>** Just trying to find out how much of a rat bastard you are.

**< AlexK>** Well, in this instance anyway, I'm innocent. I think you do care, though. Not so much because of me, but because of that pitifully low self esteem you revealed earlier. You can't believe that I'd want you, that I do want you. You have to believe it was all just a mind fuck.

**< FMldr>** That's not it at all.

**< AlexK>** What is it then?

**< FMldr>** Nothing. So, where are you surfing to, tonight?

**< AlexK>** Nothing interesting, really. Mostly checking a bunch of bulletin boards, sending some messages. It's been all work and no play for me recently.

**< FMldr>** too bad

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: It pays the bills.

**< FMldr>** right. look, Krycek, I've got to go. I can't do this anymore.

**< AlexK>** This is upsetting you?

**< FMldr>** why do you think that?

**< AlexK>** Your excuse for leaving is that you can't do this anymore. Not that you need to get to bed, or do the laundry, or paint your toenails. What's wrong?

**< FMldr>** I can't....

**< AlexK>** Tell me.

**< FMldr>** Why do you even care?

**< AlexK>** I'm not sure. But I do.

**< FMldr>** Forget it, you don't think I'm going to confide in you, do you?

**< AlexK>** What would it hurt?

**< FMldr>** right. like you don't know.

**< AlexK>** No, seriously. You tell me what's wrong, and what's the worse that could come of it?

**< FMldr>** let's see....you use it against me. You hold it over my head. You get such a big fucking kick out of it, you don't know what to do with yourself. Forget it.

**< AlexK>** How would I hold it over your head? ::shrug:: You could care less about my opinion, you hate me. Why would it matter? And, for the record, I'm not getting a big fucking kick out of your pain.

**< FMldr>** That's just it...I don't hate you.

**< AlexK>** You don't.

**< FMldr>** No.

**< AlexK>** Is this a recent revelation?

**< FMldr>** No.

**< AlexK>** I don't know what to make of that. It's a shock. As pathetic as it sounds, your hatred of me has been one of the few sure things in my life.

**< FMldr>** Sorry

**< AlexK>** No need to apologize. It's not a bad thing, just requires some readjustment.

**< FMldr>** well, good luck with that.

**< AlexK>** Fuck Mulder. So after accusing me of using this kind of shit over your head, *you're* going to be a flippant bastard? Fuck you.

**< FMldr>** I'm not being flippant.

**< AlexK>** That's not what it sounds like.

**< FMldr>** well, what do you want me to say?

**< AlexK>** I really don't know.

**< FMldr>** I shouldn't have said anything.

**< AlexK>** I don't know, Mulder. But maybe this is better than us just constantly sniping at each other.

**< FMldr>** you think so?

**< AlexK>** Maybe. So, if you don't hate me, how do you feel?

**< FMldr>** I don't know.

**< AlexK>** Any theories? Guesses?

**< FMldr>** Yeah...plenty.

**< AlexK>** Well?

**< FMldr>** It really hurt me when I found out about you, you know.

**< AlexK>** I'm sorry.

**< FMldr>** you don't have to say that

**< AlexK>** I mean it. I don't have many regrets, but that is one.

**< FMldr>** well.....I can't say it's okay, but thanks, I guess...for making the gesture.

**< AlexK>** Well, I know it's useless. It can't change anything.

**< FMldr>** Right.

**< AlexK>** Well, you said you had plenty of theories.

**< FMldr>** I do, but I don't know about sharing them with you.

**< AlexK>** What do either of us have to lose at this point?

**< FMldr>** I have more to lose than you'd think. You have nothing to lose.

**< AlexK>** That's not true. You'd be surprised.

**< FMldr>** Right. So if I tell you how I feel, what the hell do you have to lose?

**< AlexK>** In case you haven't noticed, you're not the only one exposing himself right now.

**< FMldr>** Interesting choice of words.

**< AlexK>** Ha. Well, I suppose double entendres are safer for us both.

**< FMldr>** you bet.

**< AlexK>** So, where do you want to go with this, Mulder?

**< FMldr>** Don't ask...

**< AlexK>** Too late. I just did.

**< FMldr>** I...I'd like to...

**< AlexK>** Then do. Carpe diem, Mulder. God knows we've come far enough tonight.

**< FMldr>** you're right...

**< AlexK>** So?

**< FMldr>** <g> If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

**< AlexK>** Hmmm. Let me think about that for a minute....... No. Definitely not.

**< FMldr>** I'm not sure how to take that....

**< AlexK>** Just trying to inject some levity into this conversation. What do you like about my body?

**< FMldr>** where to start?

**< AlexK>** Wherever you'd like.

**< FMldr>** your ass is the stuff dreams are made of, for one....god, I loved working out with you so I could see you out of those damn suits.

**< AlexK>** Those suits were awful. And though yours are gorgeous, I still loved working out with you. There is something about you covered with sweat... What else?

**< FMldr>** your eyes, your mouth....Alex, I shouldn't do this. I'm sorry.

**< AlexK>** God, Mulder. Why not?

**< FMldr>** because...

**< AlexK>** What could it possibly hurt?

**< FMldr>** I don't trust you.

**< FMldr>** Alex? You there?

**< AlexK>** Yeah, I'm sorry. That just... Of course you don't trust me.

**< FMldr>** Do you blame me?

**< AlexK>** No. I don't.

**< FMldr>** Do you understand?

**< AlexK>** All too well, I think.

**< FMldr>** what do you mean?

**< AlexK>** Why you can't trust me. Why you feel you can't do this. It doesn't make me want it any less, but I suppose that's my problem.

**< FMldr>** it's not just your problem.

**< AlexK>** What do you mean by that?

**< FMldr>** doesn't make me want it any less, either....just makes me unable to do this.

**< AlexK>** But... Damn, I'm in danger of begging.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, right...

**< AlexK>** No, really. I can't tell you....

**< FMldr>** Fine.

**< AlexK>** It's that I don't know how to say it. This is confusing the hell out of me.

**< FMldr>** I understand....trust me.

**< AlexK>** So, where do we go from here? What do you want to do, Mulder?

**< FMldr>** I can't say it

**< AlexK>** Please.

**< FMldr>** it's too damn....embarrassing doesn't begin to cover it

**< AlexK>** I can't think it's anything I wouldn't understand. Tell me, Mulder.

**< FMldr>** I've always had this....fantasy about you.

**< AlexK>** What is it?

**< FMldr>** see, if I tell you, I know you're going to use it to hurt me...

**< AlexK>** I know my word isn't worth much to you, but believe me, I wouldn't. I won't.

**< FMldr>** Okay. If you do screw me over I guess it'll be my own fault, huh?

**< AlexK>** I won't.

**< FMldr>** Do you remember when you broke into my apartment and caught me by surprise? The night you told me about the colonists' plans?

**< AlexK>** Yes.

**< FMldr>** you had my gun trained on me and you just looked so....intense and...feral...

**< AlexK>** I wanted you so badly.

**< FMldr>** oh god....me too.. When I think about that night, I wanted you to....I imagine you...

**< AlexK>** What? What do you imagine me doing?

**< FMldr>** you're not there to give me information...you're there because you want something from me...

**< AlexK>** I did. The information was just a convenient excuse.

**< FMldr>** what did you want?

**< AlexK>** You. God, I wanted you. Why do you think I kissed you? I couldn't help myself, but I wanted so much more.

**< FMldr>** why didn't you do anything about it? I wanted you to make me....

**< AlexK>** I didn't think you'd want it. What do you wish I'd done?

**< FMldr>** I wanted to you to keep the gun in my face, force me to go along with what you really wanted from me....

**< AlexK>** Oh, damn. Yeah... But I wouldn't have wanted to force you. I'd want you to come to me of your own free will. But I guess that's not what you need.

**< FMldr>** Free will has nothing to do with my fantasy, true.

**< AlexK>** What do I do to you?

**< FMldr>** You kiss me like you did that night, smirking when I try to pull away. Then you press the gun to my cheek and tell me to stay still while you kiss me again, on the mouth this time, forcing my lips apart, thrusting your tongue into my mouth.

**< AlexK>** I'm forcing you, but the way you open up, the way you meet my tongue, the greediness of your kiss. I know you want this just as much as I do and that the gun is just a necessary prop. A way for you to forgive yourself for what you feel, what you want.

**< FMldr>** Your mouth is hot and sweet, and I lean into you even as I tell myself I have no choice but to do what you want. I even excuse my groan as a purely physical response and not an indication of how much I want you.

**< AlexK>** But you do want me. You're not scared, not cold with fright or disgust, but hot, so hot as you strain against me. I can feel your hardness, your yielding. I'm dizzy with wanting you, I can barely breathe.

**< FMldr>** I pull back, despite the gun. If you want anything else, I'm not giving it to you.

**< AlexK>** Your mouth is set in a grim, determined line. You're obviously upset, already regretting your loss of control. For a moment, I consider leaving — stopping this before you hate both of us even more, but then I meet your eyes. They betray you, showing clearly how much you want this, how much you want me. I press the gun a little harder against your face as a tacit warning, and lean in to kiss you again.

**< FMldr>** I take my chances, turning my head, making you kiss my cheek, again.

**< AlexK>** I laugh softly, part of me pleased that you still have so much spirit, that it's not so easy to break you. But my amusement only goes so far. I want you too much at this point to let you play these games. "Don't toy with me, Mulder," I hiss and shove the gun firmly under your chin. Your head turns back to face me, and there's a slight sheen of terror overlaying the desire in your eyes. I curse myself for finding that such a turn-on, and lean in again, taking your mouth brutally, unwilling to allow you any more resistance.

**< FMldr>** I don't kiss back, letting you take what you want, but refusing to let myself respond. I don't want this, I keep telling myself.

**< AlexK>** Even passive, your mouth is a hot, slick wonder, and I know I'm enjoying this far more than I should allow myself. This game is spinning wildly out of control. It's no longer a game, in fact, but a hot, desperate need. I need you to join me, need to break through your resistance. Still ravaging your open, slack mouth, I trail the gun down, rubbing it across your nipples before heading down to your cock. I brush my knuckles across the hard flesh straining against your pants, and then press the gun down hard, steel meeting steel.

**< FMldr>** I groan into your mouth, not from pain or fear, but, regrettably, from need...and begin returning your kiss. It's self-preservation, of course, as I get lost in the heat and taste of your mouth. I snap out of it long enough to bite your lower lip. You quickly retreat, swearing as you wipe the blood slowly trickling down your chin.

**< AlexK>** I take a deep breath, trying to control my anger, trying to ignore the frustration and pain I feel at your rejection. When I meet your eyes, when I see your smug defiance, your patented, infuriating smirk, something snaps. Before I can think, I react, and raise my hand, slamming the gun into the side of your face, reveling in your sharp cry, the sight of blood trickling from your temple. Unable to resist, I find myself licking and sucking at the trail of blood —the salty-sweet, metallic weight of it exploding on my tongue, mingling with the taste of my own. I begin nibbling at the wound, needing to taste more, moaning with satisfaction at the rising hardness of it. You answer my moan with a guttural cry, and even in my lust-fevered state, I can tell it's only partly due to the pain I'm inflicting.

**< FMldr>** oh god...the pain is blinding, and I don't know if my heart is racing because of my fear from the unexpected blow, or because of my excitement at your actions. All I know is as you lap at my wound, I'm so hard it hurts....my cock throbbing in time with the pounding of my head. I manage to stop myself from turning toward you, and instead put a hand on your chest, trying to push you away.

**< AlexK>** I knock your hand away with the gun, and press you to the floor, using the weight of my body to pin you down. Our cocks meet and it takes all my will not to come just from that initial contact. You arch against me, whether to get closer, or to throw me off, and I grind against you, pushing you back down.

**< FMldr>** I know that you've got the definite advantage now, and I continue to try bucking you off, the contact between us making it so difficult to fight you when all I want to do is to fuck you. I want you so much, but I can't let you know that. I make some smartass comment about how this is the only way you can get a date, but it doesn't come out as harshly as I'd like.

**< AlexK>** I laugh at your attempt to convince yourself that this isn't what you want, but feel no need to destroy your illusion. I'll participate in any fantasy you need as long as I get what I want. The logistics of keeping a gun on you with only one functioning arm is becoming tricky, so I stand. You lie there, gasping up at me, and I see you bite your tongue to keep from begging me to come back. Pointing the gun at you, I smile. "Give me your handcuffs, Mulder, and take off your clothes."

**< FMldr>** Your words send another jolt to my already aching cock, and, at this point, I'd do anything you want me to just as long as I can feel you against me again. But, I know you expect some kind of struggle so I shake my head. "I don't think so."

**< AlexK>** Cocking the gun, I shake my head. "Don't test me, Mulder." You shake your head, still refusing to move, and a wave of anger assaults me again. I reach down and hit you, still with the butt of the gun, but not as hard as the previous blow. Fresh blood wells and trickles down your face, and it occurs to me that you've never seemed more beautiful. You shake your head slowly, but rise shakily to your feet.

**< FMldr>** I stand in front of you, still feeling a bit uneasy on my feet, and hand you my cuffs.

**< AlexK>** Taking them from you, I nod. "Now your clothes." You're hands are obviously trembling, but you make short work of undressing. I motion you over to the desk, and have you lie down, your arms in easy reach of the desk. I hand you back the cuffs and make you chain yourself to its leg.

**< FMldr>** I do as you ask, feeling humiliated and excited and so in need I can't stand it. I stare up at you defiantly, willing you to do your worst. My eyes drift down to the bulge in your jeans and I lick my lips, wondering what you'd feel like in my mouth, what you'd taste like and if it would be anything like what I've imagined.

**< AlexK>** You're staring at me with such intense hunger and need, and I feel like I could come, from the expression on your face, the sight of you stretched naked before me. I place the gun on the desk, and check briefly that the cuffs are secure before kneeling down next to you. I run a hand down your chest, then grab your cock roughly, giving it a few swift strokes before moving away again.

**< FMldr>** God, your touch is incredible and I want to feel it all over my body, but you pull away too soon. I wait, impatiently, to see what you're going to do next. I turn slightly, pushing my hips toward you, making sure you know what I want.

**< AlexK>** Your obvious need destroys whatever restraint I had left, and I unzip my pants, pulling out my cock. You lick your lips again at the sight and it almost shatters me. I move to kneel between your legs, and pull you up onto my lap. I force a finger into your mouth and you bite down hard, then immediately gentle, laving it with your tongue, soothing the wound. Pulling out, I reach down and thrust the wet finger inside you.

**< FMldr>** I buck at the unexpected intrusion, biting my lip at the sharp stab of pain, but I soon relax and start moving against your finger. My eyes lock with yours and I want to feel more of you inside me, just as much as I need you to touch my straining cock.

**< AlexK>** As soon as I feel you relax, I insert another finger reaching inside until you're shuddering and bucking uncontrollably. I can't take it anymore, and I remove my hand, spitting onto my palm and coating my cock with saliva. It's probably not enough, but I have to be inside you now.

**< FMldr>** My body is shaking in anticipation and when I feel the head of your cock pressed to me, I move against you, needing you to fill me. It's so much better than anything I've dreamed about and I know I'm not going to last long, but I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate on how good you feel, hot and hard inside of me.

**< AlexK>** I groan helplessly as I sink completely into you. You're impossibly hot, almost painfully tight. I'm almost scared to move, worried that the first stroke will send me over the edge. Impatient, you buck up against me, and I lose all control and begin fucking you mercilessly.

**< FMldr>** Moaning with every move, I meet your thrusts, bucking my hips against you as best I can. I feel the growing tension of my climax bearing down on me....I'm so close, I don't even need you to touch my dick, but I want you to. "Please..." I'm begging you to touch me, to make me come.

**< AlexK>** I'm so fucking close, I know I'm not going to be able to draw it out much longer. I want to slow down, to make it last, but if anything I just pound into you harder. Your cries echo around me, but I'm too far gone to respond, to focused on getting *there* —reaching that moment where I shatter inside you.

**< FMldr>** It's too much...I...I can't hold back..oh god Alex..I'm coming so hard...need to feel you coming inside me...

**< AlexK>** God, you're shuddering, convulsing beneath me, ribbons of come landing on your chest, staining my shirt. I'm shaking uncontrollably, and then I'm coming... so deep inside you. God, Mulder.

**< FMldr>** You collapse against me, and I've never felt so satisfied. I feel your cock slip out of me, almost groaning at the loss. My arms are starting to cramp from their awkward position and I....I want to hold you, kiss you without all the damn pretense. It's all so fucking irrelevant now. I don't care if you ridicule me, I'm sure you will, but I ask you to uncuff me, tell you why...please...

**< AlexK>** A small part of me tells me it's a bad idea, but I'm too fuck-stupid to listen to it. And the thought of being in your arms, held by you, is too much to resist. Reaching for the key, I unlock the cuffs and then collapse on your chest, nuzzling your sweat-slick skin.

**< FMldr>** I can't believe it when you let me go, not knowing whether or not to be more wary than I am. I hesitate, then put my arms around you, stroking your back, unable to believe this is real. I move a hand, stroking your hair, the side of your face. "Kiss me." It's a whisper.

**< AlexK>** I moan and nip at your collarbone before lifting my face to yours. You're still panting, your mouth slightly open, and I cover it with mine.

**< FMldr>** I kiss you deeply, then pull back slightly, looking into your eyes before bringing my knee up sharply between your legs. You gasp, the pain and shock evident on your face. Pushing you off me, I get up quickly, grabbing the gun from the top of the desk. You're still incapacitated, but when I kneel down next to you and cock the gun, pressing it between your eyes, I have your full attention. "Thanks, Alex." I smile as I pull the trigger... Hmm, nice fantasy, don't you think? Have a good night, Krycek. 

* * *

March 2000  
Disclaimers: Still not ours. Still theirs... dammit.  
Rating: NC-17 for M/K goings-on  
Summary: Mulder and Krycek have another chat.  
Notes: More chat fluff, though a bit longer and a little less silly than the first... but still silly enough (we hope). Thanks to everyone who wrote us about the first one.  
Feedback: Good or bad—we're grown-ups, we can take it.[email removed]  
  
---


	3. Part III: Rubbernecking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run III**

Rubbernecking   
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie 

  
**< AlexK>** Hi Foxy! It's a voice from the grave... 

**< FMldr>** Hey, Krycek. Back for more, huh? 

**< AlexK>** Absolutely. How could I not be? That last chat was amazing, wonderful, and all sorts of other happy adjectives I'm too lazy to type in. 

**< FMldr>** You're sick, but why does that not surprise me? 

**< AlexK>** Ah, but now we know that you are, too. 

**< FMldr>** And that shouldn't surprise *you*. Now, what do you want? 

**< AlexK>** Hmmmm. Let's see —why don't you bring me off beautifully again, then treat me to another deliciously sick and twisted surprise... 

**< FMldr>** Sorry, it was a one-time only show...no future engagements planned. 

**< AlexK>** How disappointing. Such a waste of your natural talent. 

**< FMldr>** Gee, you flatter me. If I'd known that it would have impressed you so much, I'd have done something else. 

**< AlexK>** You have a degree in behavioral science from Oxford, you're a genius profiler, and you didn't realize that would impress me? I don't believe you. 

**< FMldr>** Believe what you want, Krycek. Pleasing you is not high on my list of priorities. 

**< AlexK>** Not consciously anyway.... 

**< FMldr>** Oh, of course, you're right. Secretly, I want you to rescue me, whisk me away from all this madness and let me spend the rest of my days satisfying you. What was I thinking? 

**< AlexK>** Well, that's not exactly what I was thinking. I don't really see us setting up house with a nice picket fence and matching towels. I do think you want me, though, on some level. Some nice, dark, nasty level. 

**< FMldr>** Hmm, dark and nasty....well, that does sound like you. But I'm afraid I'll have to shatter your fragile hopes and let you in on a little secret. I don't like you, Krycek. Oh wait, you've probably heard that one before. 

**< AlexK>** I don't think this has anything to do with something as simple as "like." But for what it's worth, after your last stunt, I think I might be in love.... 

**< FMldr>** Well, you've never been that bright, have you? So, besides complimenting me on my fantastic ability to get you off, why are you here? I really don't see us doing it again. 

**< AlexK>** No, I'm quite dark. And, as I've told you before, I do live in hope. I have a question for you, though, Mulder... 

**< FMldr>** Okay. I'm feeling generous. What is it? 

**< AlexK>** If you're so against us doing it again, and dislike me so much, what's that tenting your sweatpants? 

**< FMldr>** That's quite an imagination you've got there. 

**< AlexK>** You know it's not just my imagination. 

**< FMldr>** Fine, so you also have quite an ego. 

**< AlexK>** Never denied it. You're the one with insecurity issues. But I'm still right. 

**< FMldr>** Is this some new attempt at seduction, Krycek? 

**< AlexK>** No, just stating the facts. 

**< FMldr>** Wow, you *are* sure of yourself, aren't you? 

**< AlexK>** Hey, Mulder, video feed doesn't lie. 

**< AlexK>** Mulder?? Ooooh Mulder?? 

**< AlexK>** Stop looking for the video feed. It isn't there. 

**< AlexK>** But, I'm thrilled you confirmed my suspicions. So, why are you hard Mulder? 

**< FMldr>** Calm down, Krycek. I just went to get a beer. 

**< AlexK>** Good idea. So, are you going to answer my question? 

**< FMldr>** Your question? Oh...well, I'm doing a little extracurricular surfing. 

**< AlexK>** For someone who claims to be a truth-seeker, you're awfully good at denial. Outright lying, even. 

**< FMldr>** You trying out for psychic friends or something? 

**< AlexK>** Sure. That's it. Dionne Warwick and I are tight these days. 

**< FMldr>** I thought so. Not that I have to prove anything to you, but here's a link:  
<http://www.gaypornpicpost.com/gaytopsites/>

**< AlexK>** Oh, as if you don't have a number of such sites handily bookmarked. You're adorable when you're in denial, you know. But thanks for the rec. I'll be sure to check it out. 

**< FMldr>** Whatever, Krycek. yeah, I'm hard, but it's got nothing to do with you. 

**< AlexK>** Of course it doesn't. ::soothing Mulder:: So, tell me what does have you hot right now. In explicit, prurient detail. 

**< FMldr>** Why do you care? It's not like you're going to get anything out of this. 

**< AlexK>** I'm not so sure of that. You haven't disappointed me yet, after all. 

**< FMldr>** Oh, that'll really get me talking. Look, is there a point to all of this? 

**< AlexK>** Does there need to be?? Relax, Mulder. Drink some more beer. This is just harmless conversation. 

**< FMldr>** There's nothing harmless about anything you're involved in. 

**< FMldr>** But I wouldn't want you to think I couldn't handle whatever you want to talk about. 

**< AlexK>** No worries. I *know* you can handle it. 

**< FMldr>** Good for me, then. I'm yawning, Krycek...better make this interesting. 

**< AlexK>** Yawning?? Or starting to jerk off already? 

**< AlexK>** Oooh, you've gone quiet. I've had another lucky guess, haven't I? 

**< FMldr>** There was someone at the door. 

**< AlexK>** I'm sure. Reign in the paranoia just this once. I already got you to admit you were hard, then you challenge me to make it "interesting" —it was a simple, logical deduction. So, how interesting do you want me to make it? Any requests? 

**< FMldr>** I'm not being paranoid. Let's see....requests. Besides you sprawled on the hood of my bed after I've hit you? 

**< FMldr>** Car. 

**< FMldr>** Hood of my car. 

**< AlexK>** Yes. Of course. So, I'm sprawled on your *car.* What am I doing? 

**< AlexK>** And the hitting —dare I hope this is erotic spanking?? 

**< FMldr>** Writhing in agony if I'm lucky. 

**< FMldr>** Fuck you, Krycek. It was a slip. 

**< AlexK>** Yes, well, I'm sure they taught you Freud over at Oxford. So, I'm writhing in agony. Naked, I assume. My cock hard and glistening, a couple bruises begin to mar my flesh? 

**< FMldr>** Hold on. Phone. 

**< AlexK>** 'k —I'll amuse myself in your absence. 

**< AlexK>** I'm thinking they're not bruises, but welts. A few of them with a bit of broken skin, trickling blood. You've been using your belt on me. 

**< AlexK>** Your eyes are glittering. No safe words, and I can't trust you not to go too far. 

**< AlexK>** But I don't even care. You're so gorgeous like this. You're panting from the exertion, your eyes hard and glittering. But best of all, is your cock. Straining against your pants, already leaving a visible wet spot. 

**< AlexK>** I stare at you, licking my lips. I want you to take it out, shove it down my throat, and fuck me with it, so hard that I can't breathe. 

**< FMldr>** wow...you really know how to amuse yourself, Alex. 

**< AlexK>** Thanks! It's a useful talent. So, who was your imaginary caller?? 

**< FMldr>** Imaginary? 

**< AlexK>** I'm suspicious. For someone with no friends and fewer acquaintances, you're awfully popular tonight. So many interruptions. 

**< FMldr>** It was Scully. 

**< AlexK>** Oh, of course. She have anything interesting to say? 

**< FMldr>** Just wanted to discuss our latest case. 

**< AlexK>** Ah. Well, you were awfully quick. I appreciate you keeping it short to chat with me. 

**< FMldr>** I didn't cut anything short to chat with you. She had to leave for a belt. 

**< FMldr>** Date. 

**< AlexK>** Hmmmm. I see. 

**< AlexK>** So, you like the idea of the belt, do you? 

**< FMldr>** Krycek, don't start getting excited. I'm exhausted, I've had a few beers, I'm not paying that much attention to what I'm typing. Or to what you're saying. 

**< AlexK>** No, of course not. Mistakenly substituting what I'm saying in your sentences is definitely a sign that you're not paying any attention to me at all. 

**< FMldr>** Haven't you ever looked at something and accidentally said it when you meant something else? I don't even know why I'm trying to defend myself. 

**< AlexK>** Fine, I believe you. ::soothing Mulder again:: So, you've got the belt in your hand. You're staring at me, trying to decide what to do next. What will it be? 

**< FMldr>** I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not into that kind of stuff. 

**< AlexK>** Forgive me if I'm skeptical about that one. C'mon, I've got to be handing you a fantasy on a platter. Me, helpless and wounded before you. Willing to let you do anything you want? Go as far as you need to? It's a perfect chance for revenge. 

**< FMldr>** I didn't think you'd want me to kill you again... 

**< AlexK>** Whatever you want, Mulder. You can kill me this way as many times as you'd like. 

**< FMldr>** Sorry, I just can't get into this. 

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: No problem. What could you get into, though? You're interest certainly hasn't waned, has it? You're still stroking yourself, still dying to come. 

**< FMldr>** I'm not, actually. In fact, my interest waned a little while ago. You're just boring me, I guess. Lucky for you I don't have anything better to do. 

**< AlexK>** You're lying again, Mulder. Am I that bad of an influence on you? 

**< FMldr>** What the hell makes you think I'm lying? I'd be hurt by your mistrust if I gave a shit about you. 

**< AlexK>** Call it intuition. I think you're just pissed because I'm reading you so easily. We both know you're still hard. That you want this as much as I do. But if you'd like us to pretend otherwise, I'll play along. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you're good at playing along, aren't you? It's what you do for a living...following orders like a good little nazi. 

**< AlexK>** You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But it'd be futile to argue with you, so you just believe whatever you want—whatever reassures you of your hatred for me. 

**< FMldr>** Awww, did I hurt your feelings? Is this not fun for you anymore? You're hard and horny as hell and I'm not giving you what you want, *plus* I'm being mean....bad night for you, I guess. Well, let me make it up to you. Why don't you come over and let's give my little fantasy a run-through. Of course, it would have to be a one-time deal... 

**< AlexK>** LOL!! Mulder, you didn't hurt my feelings. You continue to delight me, actually. And thanks for the generous offer, but I've a healthy instinct for self-preservation. As much fun as your twisted ending to our last chat was, I think it's better if it stays a fantasy. 

**< FMldr>** You sure? I really wouldn't mind. 

**< AlexK>** No, no really. I'm touched, but I have to refuse. 

**< FMldr>** Hmm, I bet a lot of people don't get turned down by someone like you. I'm not sure whether or not I should be insulted. 

**< AlexK>** Hmmm. Abuse me some more, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** You really want me to? You want me to let you know how much I hate you? Tell you that if you were naked and tied to my bed, and I had a belt in my hand, I'd beat you so hard you wouldn't be able to stand? And then I'd fuck you until you couldn't move... 

**< AlexK>** Um, yes. That's pretty much exactly what I want to hear. More detail, though, please. 

**< FMldr>** Sorry, Krycek. Like I said, I'm not into that kind of thing. 

**< AlexK>** Could have fooled me. And if nothing else, your cock doesn't lie. It's twitching in your hand right now, isn't it? When you were typing that last bit in, I'll bet it was just flooded with precum, wanting you to go further, to imagine more. 

**< FMldr>** You sure there's no video feed? 

**< AlexK>** I'm really beginning to wish there was. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I bet...me too 

**< AlexK>** You do? 

**< FMldr>** Well, for me to see you, I mean. 

**< AlexK>** Ah, that makes more sense. What do you imagine seeing? 

**< FMldr>** you sitting there, your pants undone...your hand around your cock, stroking it slowly while you think about me...pretty much run of the mill, but it makes for good material. 

**< AlexK>** Sounds like material worth building on...Why don't you? 

**< FMldr>** yeah, right. 

**< AlexK>** You're such a tease, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** you're just figuring that out. 

**< AlexK>** No, just stating the obvious. I must be frustrated or something. 

**< FMldr>** I can see why you would be. 

**< AlexK>** Now, who's got the ego? 

**< FMldr>** Well, it's not hard to tell that you're probably feeling pretty desperate by now....no pun intended, of course. 

**< AlexK>** Me desperate, you holding on to your denial by a thread. What a pair we make. 

**< FMldr>** My denial? What am I denying now? 

**< AlexK>** That you don't want this. That you're not just as desperate and needy for this as I am. 

**< FMldr>** I don't remember saying I don't want this. I just happen to like the idea of you needing it more than I do... 

**< AlexK>** Well, it's a nice idea, I'm sure. But it's a delusion. 

**< FMldr>** Really? Who's begging for details here? I don't think I'm the one asking you to share your juvenile fantasies...though, if you wanted to, I couldn't really stop you. 

**< AlexK>** Gee, Mulder, that almost sounds like an invitation. 

**< FMldr>** Does it? 

**< AlexK>** You could stop me easily. Just log off. 

**< FMldr>** And miss out on the chance to see what kind of things go through that head of yours? 

**< AlexK>** Oooh. That *is* an invitation. 

**< FMldr>** If you like... 

**< AlexK>** No, I think you should admit it first. C'mon, the truth shall set you free. Or at least make you come. 

**< FMldr>** Fine, since I'm such a fair man, why don't you share one of your little fantasies with me? It's only right after you let me tell you mine the last time. Oh, I meant to let you know that I thought you were very sweet in our last chat. I didn't know you cared, Krycek. 

**< AlexK>** I was sweet, wasn't I? I worked very hard at it —glad you appreciated the effort. Okay, I can share a fantasy. 

**< FMldr>** Good. Oh, and for the record, I'm crushed that the things you told me last time weren't sincere. No, really, you should see the tears. 

**< AlexK>** Oh god, the *guilt*! 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I can tell you're broken up about it. I'll live, I'm sure. So, spill it. 

**< AlexK>** Well, I have a fantasy about that night in your apartment, too. Though it ends a little differently from yours, shockingly enough. I've handed you the gun, but I'm not really worried. I'm assuming you'll be too shocked to react, and despite your capacity for violence against me, I don't think you have it in you to shoot me in the back. Just as I'm about to open the door, though, I realize I'm wrong. I didn't even hear you get up, but when I feel you shove the gun barrel at the base of my skull, I know I've misjudged you. 

**< FMldr>** Wow, Krycek, you surprise me. So, I've got my gun jammed against your neck. What happens now? 

**< AlexK>** Oh, I'm sorry—is it my fantasy too predictable or something? I wouldn't want to bore you. 

**< FMldr>** Did I say you were boring me? I just wanted to know what else you fantasized about me doing to you. Do I merely throw you on the ground and fuck you? Do I make you suck my cock? Do I force you to watch home movies from when I was a kid? What exactly have you spent all this time thinking about? I only ask because I care. 

**< AlexK>** ::wiping a tear from my eye:: You care? I'm so touched, I can't even tell you. Hmmm. All of those possibilities sound equally wonderful - I feel like a kid in a candy store. But where was I? Oh yes, you've got the gun against my head, and I'm terrified. I've been in worst situations, sure, but my guard was down, I didn't anticipate this. I'm frozen, waiting for the shot, but it doesn't come. You move closer behind me, and the heat of you... I can feel the hot rasp of your breath against my neck, in contrast to the cool metal of the gun. You press even closer, and I can feel your hardness nestled against my ass. I moan, unable to decide if I should be relieved or even more fucking terrified at the fact that you're aroused. 

**< FMldr>** I love the fact that you don't know what I'm up to, and the fear coming off you is even more of a turn on than being this close to your body. I know I should just shoot you, just rid the world of your sorry ass, but....I move my hips, grinding my cock against you. There's time for a little something before I decide what to do with you. 

**< AlexK>** I buck at the sensation, then arch backwards into it. My motion presses the gun harder against me, but desire overwhelms my fear. My lips still burn from your stubbled cheek, and I want so much more. Your mouth begins to nuzzle wetly against my skin and I want to turn and capture it with my own. "Put the gun away, Mulder," I rasp, appalled at how desperate I sound. "You don't need it." 

**< FMldr>** I laugh at that. "Sure, I don't." I move my free hand around your waist, sliding it up under your T-shirt, your stomach quivering at my touch. It trails down, slipping inside the waistband of your jeans and the hard heat I find there tells me how much you want this. A quick squeeze and I remove my hand. "Turn around." 

**< AlexK>** I turn around slowly, willing myself to stay still, even though the desire to just jump you is overpowering. Of course, the fact that you're pointing the gun at me helps, too. I lick my lips in anticipation, a thrill coursing through me as I watch your eyes track the gesture. "What do you want me to do?" 

**< FMldr>** I bite back a sarcastic response that involves your untimely demise, and simply stare at you. I can tell you're uncomfortable. There's no telling what I'll do with this gun in my hand. But I can also tell that you're excited, needing to know what it is you'll get out of me before the night's through. I shrug out of my coat and jacket, the gun still trained on you. "Take off your jacket." 

**< AlexK>** Despite the gun in your hand, I can see the desire in your eyes, in the obvious bulge of your crotch, and this reassures me. I cock an eyebrow at you and shrug out of the leather. "Just my jacket, Mulder?" 

**< FMldr>** I smirk back at you. "What's the rush?" 

**< AlexK>** "No rush." I shrug. Deciding to take a risk, I walk slowly toward the couch. You follow me carefully with your eyes and the gun, but make no move to stop me. Sitting down, I pick up the remote and turn on the TV. "So, wanna watch a game or something?" 

**< FMldr>** I set the gun down, and turn to you. "Not quite." I grab the remote from you and turn off the television. Facing you again, I move toward you until I'm standing right in front of you. I see the way you're looking at me, I know what you want. Slowly, I begin to unfasten my pants. 

**< AlexK>** The sound of your zipper seems unnaturally loud in the quiet of the room. You carefully pull your cock out and begin stroking it slowly, and I lose any pretense at composure, moaning softly at the sight. I want to sink down in front of you and guide your cock into my mouth. But even without the gun, you're still in control. And that's how I want it. "What do you want me to do?" 

**< FMldr>** I start to tell you to open your mouth, but pause when I see that you're ready to do whatever I tell you to. I step back, still stroking my cock, loving the way your eyes follow my hand as it moves up and down.. "Take off your jeans and get on your hands and knees." 

**< AlexK>** With embarrassing haste, I get out of my clothes. I know I'm playing into your hands, humiliating myself with my eagerness to give in, but I don't care, it thrills me, makes me want you to control me all the more. By the time I'm down in front of you, I'm shaking, dying for you to touch me, to do something. 

**< FMldr>** I look at you, barely able to contain my laughter. You're so damn eager. It's something I could definitely get used to. I bite back the urge to tell you to bark like a dog, and instead toe your knees a little further apart. I raise my foot and lightly touch your balls with it, rubbing your cock with the tip of my shoe. You start moving against it and I tell you to hold still. I like you this vulnerable. It would be so easy to kick you, but even I'm not that cruel. I lower my foot. "Tell me what you want, Krycek." 

**< AlexK>** I can't answer at first, I'm shaking too hard, trying too hard not to come just from the humiliating caress. And I don't know how to answer you, how to express how desperately I want you to control me, own me, force me. I can't tell you what I want, because I don't want any control or choice in this. "Anything, Mulder," I finally answer. "Anything you want from me." 

**< FMldr>** I kneel down next to you and grab your hair, yanking your head back. "I want a real answer, but since you can't seem to give me one, I guess I won't be getting any help from you." I let go, giving you a push as I do, and stand. All I want to do is fuck you, but there's time for that. First, I have to take full advantage of this situation. Who knows when I'll have the opportunity again? Still, all I can think about is that sweet ass of yours. I sit down on the couch and just watch you kneeling there, waiting for me to say or do something. 

**< AlexK>** When you walk away, I wonder if I've gone to far, disgusted you with my need, my submission. I lift my head and find you sitting on the couch. Not even pausing to wonder if it's a good idea, I crawl over to you and sink my head in your lap, nuzzling, licking, kissing your cock. The taste of your precome floods my mouth and I want more. You haven't pushed me away yet, so I go for it and swallow your cock, desperately sucking it, wanting you to fuck my face. 

**< FMldr>** Oh god...I start moving my hips, thrusting my cock into your throat...but that's not what I want. I barely manage to push you away, suppressing a groan at the loss of heat. "I want to fuck you." 

**< AlexK>** I hardly understand what you say at first. I'm staring too intently at your cock, wondering why it still isn't in my mouth, why you pushed me away. But then I realize what you've said, and I'm desperate to with the need to have you inside me. I lean back onto the floor, pulling my legs up against my chest, opening, exposing myself to you. 

**< FMldr>** I don't move from the couch, just stare at you being so ready and willing. The sight of you like that is almost enough to make me come, but I manage to hold myself in check. "No....not like that." 

**< AlexK>** I bite back a curse. Can't you just fuck me already? I let my legs drop and stare at you. "How, Mulder? Just tell me how." 

**< FMldr>** I ease down a little on the couch, taking my cock in my hand. "Come here." 

**< AlexK>** I knee-walk over to you and place my hands lightly on your thighs, forcing myself to look at your face, not the cock I long to have back down my throat. "Okay, Mulder, now what?" 

**< FMldr>** I smile at you. You look good on your knees like that. It's too bad this can't be a permanent arrangement. "I said I wanted to fuck you." I pause when I see that you still don't understand. "And I'm not planning on moving." 

**< AlexK>** I lick my lips in anticipation stare down at your cock. Your hand is spreading the precum along it, but it's still not going to be enough. I glance around, but don't see anything I could use. I stare at you uncertainly, wondering if I dare get up and look for something. 

**< FMldr>** I know why you're hesitating, can tell what you're looking for. But why should I make this any easier for you...or me? "Give me your hand." 

**< AlexK>** Without hesitating, I comply. 

**< FMldr>** I spit into your palm. "Make do." 

**< AlexK>** I bite back a protest. Surely, you've at least got some hand lotion in this apartment, but I'm afraid that if I anger you, you'll stop. Not wanting to dwell on how pathetic that is, I concentrate on the task at hand, mixing your spit with my precum, and reaching down to roughly prepare myself. 

**< FMldr>** I watch you, amused at the expression on your face. I can't decide if you're pissed off or resigned, but either works for me. I try not to get too distracted by how sexy you look getting ready for me, or by how much I want to be inside you. 

**< AlexK>** I take less time than I probably should —but god, I've got to have you inside me. I climb up onto your lap, and guide your cock to me. Bracing my hand on your shoulder, I begin to slowly ease myself down. It hurts, the dry burning is almost enough to make me scream, but it still feels so good. 

**< FMldr>** I have to bite my lip to stop from letting you know how good this feels....just painful enough to make it interesting. The heat of your body is incredible as it slowly engulfs my cock, and I have to resist the urge to force you down onto me. I close my eyes, letting myself enjoy this more than I probably should. 

**< AlexK>** I'm halfway there, and suddenly I can't wait anymore, it's going to hurt either way, and I need you. With a harsh cry, I impale myself on the rest of your length, then lean my head on your shoulder, almost sobbing from the exquisite pain of it. 

**< FMldr>** The sudden move takes me by surprise and I can't hold back my groan as I feel myself inside you completely. It's almost too much, and I'm afraid to move, afraid to have this be over too soon. With your head on my shoulder I don't know what to do. I should push you away, just fuck you, but....instead I put my arms around you, my hands roaming over your naked back and down to grasp your ass. 

**< AlexK>** The way you're holding me is almost... tender. Suddenly, that hurts more than my ass, and I can't stand it. Pushing away from you, I lift myself up and begin fucking you in earnest. 

**< FMldr>** oh god....I feel as if I can't do anything but buck my hips helplessly, needing to be as deep inside of you as I can. My hands begin restlessly tracing the contours of your body, sliding greedily over your hips, your stomach, creeping up to your chest. I know that the caresses are disturbing you, so I continue touching you wherever I can. Soon, I'm holding your face between my hands, pulling you forward, forcing you to kiss me. 

**< AlexK>** I react violently, this is too much, too intimate. Kissing you right now will shatter me. My struggles just push me further onto you, you further into me. I can't lose this, but I can only take so much. 

**< FMldr>** Now the struggle, your resistance, is becoming as important to me as fucking you. I grab you by the back of your head and this time you can't pull away from me. Crushing my mouth to yours, bruising your lips with my own. Your mouth opens in protest and I plunge my tongue into your mouth, savoring the taste of your reluctance.....but I know you want this. 

**< AlexK>** For a wild panicked moment, I almost bite your tongue. This kiss is too tender. I feel like you're turning me inside out. But that would end this, and I'm too weak to stop it. With a strangled moan, I give in, sagging against you, returning the kiss with everything I have. 

**< FMldr>** Your reaction startles me for a second, I hadn't expected you to give in....then I'm allowing myself to respond, kissing you as if this is the last time we'll be like this. No, it *is* the last time, I tell myself. I hold you against me, wanting this to last even as I feel my body tensing, desperate for release. 

**< AlexK>** Moans are echoing in my ears, and I'm not sure if they're coming from me or you. You're bucking up underneath me, screwing yourself in as deeply as you can. My thighs are trembling, I'm shaking, almost.... almost *there*... 

**< FMldr>** I let you go, pushing you away from me...and I'm coming...thrusting into you...it's so good...you're so good 

**< AlexK>** Your hand is on my shoulder, pushing me away, but holding me up. Enough that I can reach down and grab myself. It only takes one stroke, and I'm exploding, covering you with my come... 

**< FMldr>** I watch your face as you come...and I'm struck by how much I want to see you look like this again.....but the feeling fades just as quickly. I push you, wanting you as far away from me as possible. "Get off me." 

**< AlexK>** I can barely move, but I obey, rolling off of you to flop gracelessly on the other end of the couch. After shocks are still sparking under my skin, and I feel like I can't get enough breath in my lungs. Away from your body, the air chills the drying stickiness painting my abdomen and groin. I know I should get up, clean and dress myself and get the hell out of here, but I can't move. 

**< FMldr>** I look down at myself, quickly fasten my trousers and then stand. I take off my shirt, needing to get rid of the evidence of what just happened. I turn to look at you. "Get out." 

**< AlexK>** You'd tell me to get out? Not very gentlemanly of you, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** Hey, I'm not known for my charm. Though, it wouldn't necessarily be what I was thinking. 

**< AlexK>** Well, what would you be thinking? "Stay Alex, be mine, have my babies"??? 

**< FMldr>** As tempting as that may be, I was thinking more along the lines of, "Let me know when you're up for another round." 

**< AlexK>** Ah well, it's all in the subtext anyway. Damn, you're beautiful when you come. I'll be rewinding that bit until the tape wears out, I'm sure. 

**< FMldr>** Excuse me? 

**< AlexK>** Oh, and I don't think a crumpled tissue you had lying on your desk is the best thing to clean up the semen on your keyboard. You might even want to try a cleaning product of some sort. That is, if you have such a thing in that rathole you call home. 

**< FMldr>** What the fuck are you doing? 

**< AlexK>** Amusing myself. You never fail to entertain, you know... 

**< AlexK>** And the expression on your face right now is priceless. It really is. 

**< FMldr>** Where the fuck are the goddamn cameras? 

**< AlexK>** Hey, maybe I'm just having psychic visions. I could be an XFile. 

**< AlexK>** Not only are you frantically searching your apartment right now, but you're also thinking of.... the color.... wait, it's coming to me.... Green! 

**< FMldr>** fuck you. where are they? 

**< AlexK>** Oh give it up, Mulder. You're not going to find them. It's all very state of the art, virtually undetectable... You'll have to get your geek friends over to sweep the place, and they still might not find 'em. Depends on how up to date their equipment is. 

**< AlexK>** Was I right about the color, though? 

**< FMldr>** Fuck you. 

**< FMldr>** What do you want? 

**< AlexK>** Awww! Don't be mad. 

**< FMldr>** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? 

**< AlexK>** Shouting?? Tsk, tsk. How rude. Don't worry —it's just for my own personal viewing pleasure. No one else knows about them. You, of all people, should be able to appreciate the desire for fine, erotic film. 

**< FMldr>** Fine. Why don't you come over here and bring a camcorder? 

**< AlexK>** Hmmm. Well, there is that fantasy you have of shooting me between the eyes right after we do the deed. What's so wrong with cuddling, anyway? If you're not killing me, you're pushing me away and ordering me out. It's almost enough to give me a complex. 

**< FMldr>** Damn. I was trying to make you feel completely unwanted and undesirable. I must try harder. 

**< AlexK>** Yeah, I feel really undesirable right now. Especially since your cock is already hardening again. Oh yeah, stroke it again... Your stamina amazes me, Mulder. I couldn't believe it when you managed it three times last night during your little porno marathon. 

**< FMldr>** How long have you been watching me? 

**< AlexK>** Just a couple of days. You do have a very active, if solitary, sex life. Does Scully know you keep jerking off when she interrupts you in the middle of it? You sounded so businesslike, if a bit abrupt on that phone call the other night. I gained new respect for you. 

**< FMldr>** You can *hear* me too? 

**< AlexK>** Of course. And I have to ask... Have you always called out my name when you come? Or is this a new development? 

**< AlexK>** C'mon, Mulder. I know you're still there. 

**< AlexK>** Hey, inquiring minds want to know.... 

**< FMldr>** What do you expect me to say? 

**< AlexK>** Well, you could always answer the question I just asked. 

**< FMldr>** What makes you think I'd tell you? 

**< AlexK>** Absolutely nothing. But I am really curious about it. You sound so desperate and needy when you cry out my name. I had to try. 

**< FMldr>** Go to hell 

**< AlexK>** Why can't you just take this as the compliment that it is? 

**< FMldr>** Funny, I thought this was yet one more example of your fucking psychosis. 

**< AlexK>** ::shrug:: Probably. But you should still be flattered. I could electronically surveil anyone's place, you know. But I chose you. 

**< FMldr>** Why me? 

**< AlexK>** Because you're sexy, amusing and a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Besides which, I can't think of anyone who would provide such regular entertainment. It's a wonder you're not blind with hairy palms. 

**< FMldr>** There are sexier, hornier guys than me out there who would probably give their left arm to be with you....oops. Sorry. But, I'll ask again. Why *me*? 

**< AlexK>** I like you, Mulder. I've taken to carving our initials on trees, writing your name on all my notebooks... This seemed like the next logical step. What can I say? I'm smitten. 

**< FMldr>** Right. You want to sell me a bridge while you're at it? 

**< AlexK>** I don't know —what do you have in the way of pretty glass beads? 

**< FMldr>** Krycek...it's too late for these games. Tell me the truth. Who's going to see those tapes? Why would they be interested in my lack of a sex life? 

**< AlexK>** They really are just for me. Honestly. 

**< FMldr>** When are you coming to remove the cameras? 

**< AlexK>** Who says I'm going to remove them? 

**< FMldr>** Well, I figured you'd want an excuse to come over here. I was offering you one. 

**< AlexK>** Aww! I'm touched. Thanks for the offer, but you're too pissed off at me right now, and I'm enjoying this whole voyeur thing far too much. 

**< FMldr>** I'm not pissed off Krycek....I just don't know what the hell you're up to. 

**< AlexK>** Well, that's okay. I like being a man of mystery. 

**< FMldr>** I want to see you. 

**< AlexK>** Why? 

**< FMldr>** Come on...is it really fair that you get to watch me whenever you want, and I have to rely on my imagination? 

**< AlexK>** Life isn't fair. Surely you've learned that lesson by now. 

**< FMldr>** So, you've seen me in the bedroom, too, I suppose. 

**< AlexK>** Yep. And in the shower. You've got to be the only person in the world who actually washes, rinses and repeats. I can't believe you don't realize that's just a conspiracy by shampoo manufacturers to make you buy more... 

**< FMldr>** Okay. Thanks for driving me out of my home, Krycek. 

**< AlexK>** Well, shouldn't you start packing? Instead of continuing to jerk-off, I mean. Or do you like the idea that I'm watching? You must. Are you so sure you want to leave? 

**< FMldr>** Maybe I do like that you're watching me right now... But I can't stay here knowing that there's nothing you won't see. 

**< AlexK>** Well, if it's any consolation, there's no camera on the toilet. 

**< FMldr>** Gee, thanks for that. Wow. Would you believe I really am beginning to feel sorry for you now? 

**< AlexK>** See? I knew you cared. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I guess I do. It's a shame, though, to waste all this care on someone who... 

**< AlexK>** Who...? Don't leave me in suspense. 

**< FMldr>** I had you pegged all wrong, Alex. 

**< AlexK>** Oh do enlighten me... 

**< FMldr>** There was always a certain appeal in being attracted to you. You're a cold, amoral son of a bitch, and I must be insane to want you, but... Well, it's just a little disappointing to find out you have to resort to being a peeping Tom because you don't have to balls to face me in person. Guess I was wrong about you. I don't like being wrong. 

**< AlexK>** LOL!! You really do want me to come over don't you? And you think I'll fall for that transparent attempt? Show up to prove my manhood to you? Dream on, Mulder. Well, sadly I do need to go, things to do, people to see, audio tapes to deliver... Ooops. I let that slip, didn't I? But don't worry the video tapes are all mine. Have a nice night, Mulder.

* * *

March 2000  
Disclaimers: They belong to what's his name and whaddya call it.  
Rating: NC-17 for M/K happenings.  
Summary: The Friday night chat is becoming a habit.  
Notes: Thanks to everyone who wrote about the last installment.  
Feedback: Got a complaint or something? Just wanna say hi? [email removed]  
  
---


	4. Part IV: Moving Violation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run IV**

Moving Violation   
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie 

  
**< AlexK>**: How's my favorite government agent tonight? 

**< FMldr>**: Krycek? You're three days early. 

**< AlexK>**: Does this mean you considered our Friday night a standing date? That you were counting the days? I'm so pleased. 

**< FMldr>**: Well, we did kind of have a routine set up, don't you think? 

**< AlexK>**: Clever deflection of the actual question. But I'll let it slide this once... Yes, I suppose we did. 

**< FMldr>**: I answered your question. But I'll let *that* slide... So, what's the occasion? 

**< AlexK>**: Nothing special. I'm bored. Figured you'd entertain me. 

**< FMldr>**: Are you sure that's all it is? 

**< AlexK>**: Hmmm. Let me think.... Yep, that's it. I'm bored. 

**< FMldr>**: That's too bad. Sorry I don't have anything thrilling planned to amuse you. As you can see, I'm just catching up on some paperwork and checking my mail. 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, my conscience actually launched a rare attack. I took the feed out while you were at work today. Flushed one of your dead fish, and fed the rest, too. I have to wonder —do you get some sick thrill out of starving fish to death? 

**< FMldr>**: Oh, I was wondering where Joe Bob went. Burial at sea, huh? He would have loved that. And forgive me if I don't believe you about the video feed. 

**< AlexK>**: ::shrug:: You could have your geek friends over to confirm it. I noticed you didn't bother to have them come over and sweep the place. I wonder why that is? 

**< FMldr>**: Guess I'm just an exhibitionist at heart. And I must admit that I got a kick out of the idea of you being so obsessed with me, you had to rig my apartment in order to get some cheap thrills. Just proves my theory about you. 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, don't sell yourself short, Mulder. The thrills you offer are hardly cheap. 

**< FMldr>**: Ahhhh, good to know you appreciate my efforts. 

**< AlexK>**: You're a natural, I must say. The camera loves you. 

**< FMldr>**: Thank you. I was hoping you'd get my good side. 

**< AlexK>**: Yes, it's all been good. You've been quite... inspired the last few days. I'm really regretting ending the surveillance, actually. 

**< FMldr>**: Something told me you'd like the little extras. It's really too bad I couldn't see your reaction to what I was doing. 

**< AlexK>**: Still angling for a visit from me, Fox? 

**< FMldr>**: What would you think if I said yes? 

**< AlexK>**: Something along the lines that I'm not the only desperately obsessed schmuck in this chat. 

**< FMldr>**: Well, to be fair, I never said you were the only one. 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, but to be fair, that's what you've always implied. 

**< FMldr>**: Is it my fault you're so self-centered you can't see the obvious? 

**< AlexK>**: Oh c'mon, Mulder. I've seen the obvious. I'm just pointing out that you're finally willing to admit it. 

**< FMldr>**: I've admitted it before, but I think you never believed me. 

**< AlexK>**: I'm not sure I do now, really. This lack of trust between us is such an ugly thing. 

**< FMldr>**: LOL! And you've done so much to try and relieve that horrible mistrust....oh, I'm sorry. I had you confused with the assassin who *didn't* wire my apartment. 

**< AlexK>**: You're just proving my point. I wasn't trying to argue that I was trustworthy... 

**< FMldr>**: You weren't? 

**< AlexK>**: Nope. I generally try to avoid lost causes. 

**< FMldr>**: You think we're a lost cause? 

**< AlexK>**: Probably. Don't you? 

**< FMldr>**: I don't know. 

**< AlexK>**: Well, this is getting serious. And depressing. Not really what I had in mind. 

**< FMldr>**: What did you have in mind? 

**< AlexK>**: I dunno. Something a bit more lighthearted, I suppose. So, read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? Videos? 

**< FMldr>**: Nothing interesting. 

**< AlexK>**: That's disappointing. 

**< FMldr>**: And somehow I'll manage to survive. Do you have any movie recs for me, Krycek? 

**< AlexK>**: Well, none that would interest you. Apparently. 

**< FMldr>**: Apparently? Am I supposed to know what you're referring to? 

**< AlexK>**: Yeah, you are. Though I shouldn't be surprised we're back in denial mode. That, or you just get your kicks from being difficult. 

**< FMldr>**: I'm sorry? 

**< AlexK>**: I'm sorry, too. 

**< FMldr>**: Krycek, what are you talking about? 

**< AlexK>**: Apparently, not a damn thing. 

**< FMldr>**: Something tells me you're upset. I'm a professional, it's my job to know these things. Care to clue me in? 

**< AlexK>**: Ah, don't mind me. It's been a long couple days. I'm cranky. So, no good books or movies or videos. What have you been up to? Anything interesting? 

**< FMldr>**: LOL! Krycek, this interest in my recreational activities has me stumped. 

**< AlexK>**: I'm trying normal conversation. You're not helping. How's the weather there? 

**< FMldr>**: It's fine. 

**< AlexK>**: Well, I suppose that explains the lack of good books, movies and videos in your life. You must be out enjoying the early spring. Are the cherry blossoms blooming yet? 

**< FMldr>**: Krycek, you're starting to sound like mother. Please, don't do that. 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, fuck it. Did you get the damn video or not? 

**< FMldr>**: Video? 

**< FMldr>**: Krycek? You still there? 

**< FMldr>**: Well, you must still be there since you haven't logged off. I did get a package today... hmm....could that be what you're talking about? 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, don't be coy. 

**< FMldr>**: I didn't realize I was being coy. Hold on....let me open it. 

**< AlexK>**: You found a mysterious package when you got home and haven't opened it? Yeah, right. Pull the other one. 

**< FMldr>**: Why, look....it's a videotape. Krycek, did you send me a present? 

**< FMldr>**: Well, if it's not from you, I guess it can wait until later. 

**< AlexK>**: Yeah, you should wait until tomorrow night to watch it. After you get home from work. 

**< FMldr>**: Okay, I will. 

**< AlexK>**: Good. So, what are you doing online tonight? Business or pleasure? Got anymore recs for me? I have been enjoying them. 

**< FMldr>**: Actually, it's business. Maybe later I'll have some recs for you....unless you're interested in voodoo. 

**< AlexK>**: Oh, I'm very interested in voodoo right now. 

**< FMldr>**: Why? 

**< AlexK>**: It's always fascinated me. 

**< FMldr>**: I see.....you weren't thinking of putting a curse on me, were you? 

**< AlexK>**: Of course not. Why would you think that? 

**< FMldr>**: Well, you said "right now." For some reason you seem to be a bit more testy than usual. If I'm pissing you off, why don't you sign off? 

**< AlexK>**: I have no idea. Perhaps I'm finally getting in touch with my inner masochist. 

**< FMldr>**: That sounds promising. 

**< AlexK>**: I thought you might like that. 

**< FMldr>**: Hey, if it involves you being in pain, I'm all for it. 

**< AlexK>**: Tell me more. 

**< FMldr>**: Nice try. So, why am I pissing you off? 

**< AlexK>**: You're not. I told you —it's been a long, hard couple of days. I'm exhausted, wired and bored. Not everything's about you, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>**: Alex....I just asked you why you're still here if you're pissed off with me, and you said something about your inner masochist. Notice, you didn't deny being pissed with me. So. Why are you? 

**< AlexK>**: I'm just trying to say that it's not you—it's me. Bet you've heard that one before, eh Fox? Anything, *anyone* would piss me off right now. I'm just blowing off steam. 

**< FMldr>**: Okay. Well, I'm done here. Hope you manage to blow off all that steam. Have a good night, Krycek. 

**< AlexK>**: Bye. 

**< FMldr>**: Are you okay? 

**< AlexK>**: Um, aren't you supposed to be gone? 

**< FMldr>**: Well, I can't leave when you seem so.....unlike you. 

**< AlexK>**: Why not? 

**< FMldr>**: Because even creatures like you deserve to have someone ask if they're okay. 

**< AlexK>**: LOL!! Of course. Fox Mulder, humanitarian. I'm fine, Mulder. Your work here is done. Log off with a clear conscience. 

**< FMldr>**: I'm afraid I can't do that. 

**< AlexK>**: ::rolling my eyes:: I'm fine. Shoo! 

**< FMldr>**: Okay. But before I go... good show. 

**< AlexK>**: What are you talking about? 

**< FMldr>**: Oh, I guess I forgot I *did* watch the video you sent. 

**< AlexK>**: Whatever, Mulder. I'm too tired for your games. 

**< FMldr>**: You're right. It is late. I'll give you the full report next time I talk to you. 

**< AlexK>**: Tease. Bastard. Ingrate. 

**< FMldr>**: Flattery has no effect on me, Krycek. 

**< AlexK>**: I'm not so sure I believe that. 

**< FMldr>**: Believe what you like. I'm going to bed. Goodnight. 

**< AlexK>**: Night. 

Alex stepped back from the computer enraged. *I'm an idiot. A fucking idiot.* Cursing himself, he had to wonder what he'd been thinking. Leaving the video as a gift, like the pathetic lovesick fool he was. He'd accomplished nothing. Just given Mulder a wide opening to fuck with him. And not in a good way. 

He paced the room's length a couple times, then, before he could think to much about it, fled out the door and to the stairwell. One flight down, and he was standing in front of Mulder's door. Listening at the door, he could hear the faint sound of moans. He recognized those moans. The bastard. He was watching it. 

Taking the key he'd made years ago, he quietly opened the door. Mulder was too caught up in the images on the screen to notice him, and Alex took a moment to appreciate the spectacle before him. Leaning back into his couch, Mulder's sweatpants were shoved down his thighs while he frantically stroked his cock. 

Glancing at the TV, Alex saw what had Mulder's rapt attention. On screen was Alex, fucking himself with a dildo, in concert with the fuzzy images and loud moans of Mulder jerking off on the TV in front of him. 

Smiling wickedly, he coughed politely. "So, I guess you were lying about the lack of good videos after all." 

Startled, Mulder sat up quickly, an amusing mix of guilt and embarrassment on his shocked face. "What the hell are you doing here?" He quickly yanked up his sweats. 

"Well, you've been practically begging for a visit from me during our last few chats. I figured I'd oblige you." Shutting the door behind him, Alex leaned casually against the wall. 

Mulder stood, debating whether or not to go for the gun he had in his desk, but decided against it. It was obvious Krycek wasn't being a threat...yet. 

"How did you get here so quickly?" He walked to his desk and stood with his hands behind his back, his fingers on the handle of the drawer, just in case. 

"I've been in the neighborhood." Alex looked over at the TV, oddly fascinated with the sight of himself. His cock twitched, beginning to strain against denim, and his blood began to sing the possibilities of his impromptu visit. "So, you like my present?" 

"It's fine, yeah," Mulder muttered, moving his hands in front of him in a delayed effort to hide his erection. Watching Krycek watch himself was even better than anything on the video, and Mulder felt an impossible heat rising in him, his face flushed. He tore his eyes away and cleared his throat. "Krycek, why are you here? And don't say it's because I asked you to come." 

"Why does it have to be anything more than that?" Krycek asked patiently. "This has been building up for weeks now." Shrugging, he began to walk across the room. "I figure it was inevitable." 

Mulder stood his ground, not that he had any choice considering he was already backed up against the desk. When he'd told Krycek he'd wanted to see him, he had never imagined he'd be taken up on his offer. Now that Krycek was actually here - not just here, but walking, no, *stalking*, toward him—Mulder had no idea what to do. 

Krycek smiled to himself. Mulder was so transparent, so obviously at a loss — Alex hardly knew where to begin. Stopping abruptly, just a few steps shy of Mulder, he suddenly realized *he* didn't have any idea of where to begin. He'd fantasized about this for such a long time now, the recent chats had given him such hope, and now... Alex had no fucking idea what to do. Shifting uncomfortably, he cleared his throat. "So? What do we do now?" 

Certain that he hadn't heard him correctly, Mulder leaned forward slightly. "What?" 

"Yeah, what?" Alex took another step towards him. "What now? Do we consummate this thing for real? Discuss the weather? Do you beat me up?" he glanced behind him at the TV and smirked. "Or do you just want to watch videos together?" 

Mulder swallowed hard. By all rights, Krycek should be bleeding and on the ground trying to catch his breath after a few well-placed punches. He wasn't supposed to be standing there being cocky and too fucking sexy for Mulder to resist. Quashing the urge to close the gap between them, Mulder slowly opened the desk drawer and took out the gun. 

Krycek registered the surreptitious movement, and realized he didn't even have his gun. *Damnit. What the fuck is wrong with me?* "What are you doing Mulder?" 

Stopping short of saying he was playing it by ear, Mulder brought the gun up, pointing it at Krycek. 

"Oh, fuck you Mulder. I knew I shouldn't have come. I'm out of here." Turning on his heel, Krycek began walking toward the door, trying to ignore the prickling sensation along his back that screamed "Danger." 

That's all it took to spur Mulder into action. He cocked the gun. "Stop." 

Krycek froze at the sound, then hung his head in resignation. It was over. After all these years of impossible situations and close calls, he'd finally fucked up. And over what? His on-going, pathetic infatuation with a man he should have forgotten years ago? "Fine, Mulder. Shoot me. Get it over with." 

"Turn around." 

Turning around slowly, Krycek attempted a wry grin. It failed miserably. "Not the type to shoot someone in the back, huh, Mulder?" 

Mulder had thought Krycek was just playing along, but the look on his face testified to his very real fear of being killed. Concentrating on keeping his face as expressionless as possible, an easy feat if there ever was one, Mulder kept the gun trained on Krycek. "Only cowards shoot people in the back." 

"Okay, Mulder, so you're not a coward." Krycek managed a shrug, and spread his arms out wide. "Bravo for you. Now why don't you just do the deed?" Oddly enough, he felt strangely calm. This wasn't the worst end he could come to, after all. And there was a certain sense of poetic justice to it. He locked eyes with Mulder and waited. 

Smirking slightly, Mulder walked to Krycek and jammed the gun in his side. Krycek winced, and Mulder began to feel less bewildered by what he should do. In fact, the gun in his hand was providing exactly the confidence he needed to control this thing. "Get on your knees." 

Krycek stared at him with blank amazement. Was this just a game? A continuation of their online fantasies? He wondered why he was surprised, but couldn't suppress a feeling of wary hope. Without a word, he sank to his knees and looked up expectantly at Mulder. 

Mulder sensed the change in Krycek's demeanor. Slowly, carefully, he moved to stand behind Krycek, pressing the gun to the back of his head. "I should do this right. This is how you kill people, isn't it?" 

"Fuck you, Mulder," Alex snarled. "What the hell do you want from me?" 

"Maybe I want you dead," Mulder said thoughtfully. "Maybe I want to make you squirm a little before I kill you." He moved around to stand in front of Krycek. Crouching down, the gun resting on his thigh, he fixed him with a steely glare. "Any last requests?" 

"Fuck you, Mulder. If you think I'm going to beg you for a blow job before you kill me, you're insane. If you're going to kill me, do it. Otherwise, stop playing this game, you sick fuck." Alex was proud he'd kept the trembling fear out of his voice, though it was probably a moot point. He was shaking too visibly for any real dignity. 

Stunned that this was actually getting to Krycek, Mulder stared at him a few moments before standing up. He bit back a grin as he pressed the gun to Krycek's forehead. "Who says dreams don't come true, huh, Alex?" He pulled the trigger. 

Alex braced himself, his mind mercifully blank. It happened in slow motion, the sound of the trigger being pulled back seemed to last an eternity. Jerking away at the sharp click of the gun, it took Alex a minute to realize he was still alive. Mulder didn't have the clip in the gun. 

He rose to his feet, shouting. "You godamn sick fucking prick. Fuck you, Mulder, fuck *you*!" Rising quickly, he struck viciously at Mulder, sending the useless gun flying across the room. Mulder looked stunned, staring down at his empty hand as if he couldn't believe what he'd done. *Or maybe he didn't realize the gun wasn't loaded and was suffering crippling disappointment, Krycek thought cynically.* Giving Mulder one last scathing look, Krycek turned and strode to the door. 

"Come on, Krycek," Mulder said, laughing. "Don't tell me you didn't think that was funny. I promise, in a few years we'll look back on this and laugh." 

Krycek froze, his hand on the doorknob. Turning slowly, he pinned Mulder with a steady gaze. "No, Mulder, I didn't think there was anything funny about that." He shook his head, disgusted at the smile that still lingered on Mulder's face. "I know what you think of me, of what I do, but for the record, I *don't* torture or play mind games with people like that. If I have to kill someone, I do it quickly, I do it cleanly. I allow them as much dignity and spare them as much pain as I can." 

Mulder looked at him, unable to wipe the smirk off his face despite his best attempts. He really hadn't planned on pulling the trigger, but at the time it seemed like the perfect thing to do. Why should Krycek always be in control of the situation? Of course, now it looked like Mulder wasn't going to get anything out of this....not that he was any more sure of what he wanted now than when Krycek showed up. 

Placing his hand over his heart, he shook his head. "That is why you are a prince among men, Krycek. When you kill, you do it as nicely as possible." 

Krycek closed his eyes, wondering why the hell he was still standing here. "I really don't think you're in any position to judge me, Mulder. You never were, really. But I think you lost what little moral high ground you had with that stunt." 

Mulder's eyes opened wide. "Oh my god. I was on moral high ground with you? And now I *lost* it?" He looked around as if in utter disbelief, then turned back to Krycek. "I...I don't know if I can deal with this. Does this mean you won't want to cyberfuck me anymore?" 

"I don't know," he breathed, more to himself than Mulder. He'd had Mulder on a pedestal for years now, as a sort of touchstone amidst the rest of the madness. It probably wasn't a fair place to put him, but Alex had never been able to help himself. This cruelly laughing, bitter man was a far cry from the image Alex carried with him all these years. But even that didn't change the essentials. He still wanted Mulder. Hell, he probably wanted him even more now, wanted to get to him, crack open the twisted shell and see if Mulder was still somewhere underneath it. Or see if he'd just been a pathetic, delusional fuck about Mulder for all these years. 

Something in Krycek's tone caught Mulder off guard. He'd assumed they'd be able to engage in the sniping that was such a big part of their chats, but now he wasn't so sure. It seemed that the Krycek he chatted with was a different man after getting the shit scared out of him. "Would it make you feel better if I take a swing at you?" 

Krycek scrubbed his face and let out a weary sigh. "Mulder, have you ever been able to figure out the fine line between fantasy and reality? Or are you just too fucked up to make that distinction?" 

"Funny, I thought that if I kicked your ass, that *would* be reality." 

Krycek took a step towards him. "Is that really what you want to do?" 

Mulder swallowed nervously, images of what he really wanted to do flittering through his mind, sending a jolt to his groin. He was suddenly too aware that he was half-hard and that the way Krycek was looking at him was only serving to make things worse....or was that better? "Why were you in the neighborhood?" He asked quickly, wanting to steer this conversation away from the thoughts he was having. 

Krycek gave a short laugh, one that didn't seem very amused. "Things have been a little... complicated lately. I needed to disappear, but still be close to the action. I was hiding in plain sight, I suppose. This is the last place anyone would think to look for me." He seemed to relax and gave a swift, but sincere grin. "And being your neighbor... well, it appealed to my sense of the absurd." 

"My—" Mulder looked to see if he was kidding. "My *neighbor*?" 

Krycek laughed outright at the expression on Mulder's face. "Yep. I've been up on the fifth floor —the apartment above you, actually, for the last month. There were a couple of close calls, I almost ran into Scully at one point. But, overall it's worked out very well. Everyone's sure I skipped town." 

Mulder's jaw dropped. He'd had no clue—no *fucking* clue—that the bastard had been so close this whole time, had probably sat up there laughing at him while Mulder went about his daily life in utter ignorance. Not just laughing at him, monitoring him, probably reporting— "You son of a bitch!" In a flash, Mulder had closed the distance between them and had Krycek by the collar of his shirt. "Why the fuck do they have you watching me?" 

Krycek was shaking again, but no longer from fear. It didn't matter that Mulder was holding him in anger, threatening violence. It was enough. His traitorous cock began to stir with interest, and his heart was pounding in a steady, insistent rhythm. Struggling a bit, Krycek wished fervently that they could just skip this dance for once. "They don't. Like I said, I've been lying low. No amount of surveillance I could give them on you would save me at this point." 

Trying not to allow himself to become distracted by the heat of Krycek's body, resisting the urge to crush his lips to Krycek's deceitful mouth, Mulder yanked him closer. "How do I know that? Surveillance would be a more believable explanation for why you wired my apartment." 

"Yeah, and it would be an easier one, too." Krycek rested his forehead against Mulder's, reveling in the feel of warm breath against his lips, thrilled when Mulder didn't pull away. "Admitting that it wasn't a job, that it was just for me... Well, it proves your point about how pathetic I am." 

Mulder didn't say anything, his eyes closed as he thought about what Krycek said, savoring the closeness of him. Before Mulder could register what he was doing, he had tilted his head slightly, his lips finding Krycek's and brushing against them. 

Opening his mouth immediately, Krycek sucked Mulder's lower lip into his mouth, unwilling to let him back away from this. He nibbled it gently, then took advantage of Mulder's now open mouth, thrusting his tongue inside. Snaking his hand up to cradle Mulder's head, he deepened the kiss further, wanting to map and memorize the flavors, the textures, before Mulder came to his sense and ripped it all away. 

Krycek's response took him by surprise, and all Mulder could do was surrender to the sensation, melting into him. Years of wanting this, fantasizing about this moment, were nothing compared to the reality of it all. Groaning into Krycek's mouth, Mulder gave into him completely, the heat and taste of him awakening every nerve. His hips ground against Krycek's, the spark of contact between their erections almost too much for him to take. 

Sensing Mulder's surrender, Krycek gentled the kiss, painting Mulder's mouth and lips with soft, glancing strokes, pouring into it all of what he felt for the man, trying to move past the anger and violence that defined them. His hand moved in soothing circles along the small of Mulder's back, breaking the caress occasionally to push Mulder harder against him. 

The friction of their bodies and the warmth of their kiss were combining to drive Mulder out of his mind. If they kept this up, Mulder was going to come right there, and he wanted so much more than that. It was almost painful to break the kiss, but Mulder pulled back. "What do you want?" 

Rubbing Mulder's swollen lips with his thumb, Krycek smiled. "You." He leaned in for a glancing kiss, breaking contact almost before Mulder registered it. "What do you want?" 

Mulder grinned. "I kinda liked the idea of fucking you on the couch like in our last chat. You game?" 

"God, yes," Krycek hissed and pulled Mulder in for another kiss. Without breaking it, he began walking Mulder backwards to the couch. 

When Mulder felt the couch behind him, he pulled away from Krycek and sat down. He looked up at him, a wicked grin on his face. "I'll let you use real lube this time." 

Krycek snorted. "You're too kind." He glanced around the room. "And where might it be?" 

"Medicine cabinet." 

Krycek stared down at Mulder for a long moment. He was more familiar now, the bitter ugliness gone. Alex had to wonder if his relief over this was premature. He couldn't believe he was about to do this, after the scene Mulder orchestrated earlier. Leaning over Mulder for one more searing kiss, Alex reflected that he was probably insane. Stark raving mad. But oddly, he didn't care. Standing up, he turned and walked down the hallway. 

Mulder waited until Krycek was in the bathroom before getting up and quietly following him. He heard the medicine cabinet open and the sound of things being moved around as he looked for the lube and condoms Mulder kept in there. Without a word, he crept up behind him and put an arm around his waist, kissing the side of his neck. 

Caught in the act of closing the cabinet, Krycek jumped when he felt Mulder behind him. As he felt the soft lips begin to nuzzle, he immediately relaxed, leaning into the embrace. "So, is this some bathroom fantasy now?" 

"Depends," Mulder started sucking greedily on Krycek's ear, "do you have anything in mind?" 

Groaning, Krycek reached behind Mulder and pulled him tight, reveling in the feel of Mulder's cock nestling against his ass. "Um..... maybe later. I'd rather somewhere more comfortable, less cramped for now." He twisted around and caught Mulder's mouth, fucking it with his tongue until he was out of breath. "I'm sure we'll need to clean up later, though." 

Mulder's head was swimming, both from Krycek's kiss and the thought of being in here, washing him after thoroughly fucking him. He groaned and pinned Krycek against the sink, kissing him hungrily as he jerked his hips forward and began slowly rubbing their crotches together. His lips moved to nibble Krycek's earlobe again. "Still want the couch? Or the bed?" 

"Whatever... Just so long as you fuck me. Soon." The hard edge of the sink was biting uncomfortably into his ass, but the feel of Mulder grinding against him more than made up for it. Not enough, though, it just wasn't enough. He needed to feel skin, touch the heat that was muted by the layers of fabric. Moaning, his fingers began a frantic scramble with Mulder's shirt front. 

Mulder stepped back and stripped himself of his shirt, then started tugging on Krycek's, running his hands up underneath it, bending in for another kiss as his fingers trailed over Krycek's back. The heat of him, the smell and taste of him, was urging Mulder on, and he moved his hands down, fumbling with Krycek's zipper. 

Soon, he had Krycek's pants open, and Krycek moaned as he traded the constriction of his pants for the firm grip of Mulder's hand. Mulder had abandoned his mouth to trace biting kisses down his throat, and Krycek began shuddering, arching into Mulder, thrusting his cock into the tight fist. His balls tightening, he knew it was about to be all over. Mustering the last shreds of control, he pushed Mulder away. "God... too close..." Panting, he gripped the edge of the sink, willing himself to calm down. "Where do you want me?" 

"I want you right here," Mulder muttered before dropping to his knees and taking Krycek's cock into his mouth. He groaned as the slick heat slid over his tongue, the hardness filling him. As he started slowly moving his head, he closed his eyes, doing this the way he'd imagined so many times before. Every time he felt the head of Krycek's cock against the back of his throat, he swallowed, delighting in the way Krycek reacted, bucking his hips at the sensation. Mulder could tell he was close and sucked eagerly, wanting to make him come, needing to make it completely real. 

Locking his knees to keep from falling, Krycek gave in to the sensation, staring down at Mulder, mesmerized by the sight of his cock disappearing into Mulder's mouth, then emerging, coated with the slick sheen of Mulder's saliva. He groaned, carding his fingers through Mulder's hair, before gripping it, holding Mulder's head still, moving his hips, slowly, carefully fucking him. He had to control the pace, needed it to last just a little longer. 

But it didn't matter, he was too far gone. With a strangled cry, his thrusts became abrupt, arrhythmic, and then he was coming, pressing in as far as he could into the moist heat, sobbing with the crippling, fucking painful pleasure of it. 

Mulder swallowed everything Krycek gave him, relishing the loss of control, and continuing to suck on the softening flesh. He groaned slightly as he let it slip from his lips, but didn't stand right away, perfectly content to place soft, quick kisses on the hot skin of Krycek's abdomen. 

Clearing his throat a few times before he found his voice again, Krycek stared down at Mulder, hardly able to believe this had just happened. "Please tell me you're going to fuck me now?" 

Mulder stood slowly. "I'm going to fuck you now." 

Laughing softly, Krycek grabbed Mulder and began nuzzling his collarbone. "Let's take this out of the bathroom, then." 

Mulder sighed as Krycek's lips burned a path across his skin. "Damn, you're no fun." 

"No fun?" Krycek raised his head and grinned at Mulder, then, on impulse, kissed the tip of his nose. "Fine, bend me over the sink and have your way with me." 

"Well, it doesn't mean anything if you *want* me to do it." 

Krycek felt an odd, tight sensation in his throat at the words and had to quickly lower his eyes. Were they back to these games again? Or were they even games to Mulder? Feeling suddenly sick and trapped, Krycek wanted to escape. Run out the door and try to forget this man, finally leave him behind. But he was perversely rooted to the spot, and knew he didn't have the strength to leave. 

Realizing his only choice was to try to get out of this with some dignity intact, without letting Mulder know how much he cared, how easily Mulder could destroy him, he tried for a light tone. "Okay, then. Please, whatever you do, *don't* bend me over the sink and fuck me blind." 

Mulder laughed, putting his arms around Krycek and pulling him close. As his cock strained against the thin material of his sweats, Mulder knew he was teasing himself just as much as Krycek, but wanted to draw this out for as long as he could. He started to say something about not wanting Krycek to lose his vision on his account, but instead stepped back, taking his hand. He tilted his head in the direction of the bedroom. "Let's go." 

Krycek's world tilted again. Mulder suddenly seemed so easy with him, uncomplicated, *happy.* Had he just overreacted? No surprise, really, considering what had happened earlier. Krycek still couldn't completely suppress his vague feeling of unease, but decided to take the moment for what it was worth. Managing a genuine smile, he took Mulder's hand, and allowed himself to be led toward the bedroom. 

Mulder's heart was pounding as they stood next to the bed. How long had he thought about this moment? How many nights had he been unable to sleep because of the nagging ache in his gut he felt every time he thought of Krycek? And now, this was finally going to happen. He put his arms around him, looking into his eyes before kissing him simply. "Why don't you get undressed? I'll get the stuff from the bathroom." 

Krycek nodded, and watched Mulder leave the room. He quickly got undressed and sat on the edge of the bed. With Mulder out of the room, he began to feel uneasy again. Shaking his head, he tried to dispel his doubts, telling himself he was being paranoid, ridiculous. *Oh yeah, it's definitely paranoia to doubt a man who just pretended to *kill* you, and thought it was the funniest fucking thing he'd ever seen.* 

He stood up abruptly to pace across the room, wondering again if he should just get the hell out of there, and what was taking Mulder so long. He needed him here again, needed to convince himself that he wasn't being a reckless idiot. Krycek heard the bathroom door open again, and returned to sit on bed. Mulder's footsteps were slow, and when he appeared in the doorway clutching the condoms and lube, he looked uneasy, almost shy. 

"It's...it's been a while," Mulder said softly as he approached the bed. "Being in a chat room is one thing, but..." He looked down at the items in his hand, more than a little embarrassed to be admitting this. "Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality." 

Krycek swiftly closed the distance between them and cradled Mulder's face with his hand, kissing him with an implacable, focused intensity until Mulder was shuddering against him. Breaking the kiss, Krycek took a step back, pulling Mulder with him towards the bed. "For what it's worth, so far the fantasy has been nothing compared the reality." 

Mulder stopped, quirking an eyebrow. "Really?" Chuckling softly, he answered his own question. "Yeah, I guess it would be considering I really did shoot you in mine." He looked into Krycek's eyes and saw a flicker of something angry and unsure. "I'm...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." He bent his head to kiss him almost chastely, pulling back to slightly nip his bottom lip before taking Krycek's mouth in a bruising kiss that he hoped would convey what he was feeling. 

Krycek's nagging, persistent suspicion was overwhelmed by the force of the kiss. Despite an almost certain knowledge that he was making one of the biggest mistakes of his life by staying, Krycek found he couldn't care enough to do anything about it. He'd accept Mulder's apology at face value, take whatever he could get. 

Groaning into the kiss, Krycek took a step backwards, tugging Mulder until they landed on the bed in a tangled sprawl of limbs. He rolled them over, then straddled Mulder, laughing down at him. "You're still wearing clothes," he complained with mock petulance, and bent to take a nipple in his teeth, licking, sucking, biting until Mulder was thrashing beneath him. 

Mulder groaned, muttering incomprehensible things as Krycek's mouth laid claim to his body, nipping and biting whatever it came in contact with. He felt his sweats being pulled down and lifted his hips, helping to remove the intrusive garment, then settled back onto the bed. His cock was hard and straining against his stomach, shiny with fluid. Krycek licked and kissed Mulder's stomach, deliberately ignoring the aching erection, teasing him until he was sure he'd come from that alone. Then, a wicked grin, and Krycek moved his head down to lick a long, slow line from the base of Mulder's cock to the tip, swirling his tongue around the head, before sliding it between his lips. 

Mulder squeezed his eyes shut and bucked his hips, needing to be buried deep inside that mouth. "Alex..." Mulder said breathlessly, "if you want me to fuck you....you'd better...stop." 

At Mulder's warning, Krycek raised his eyebrows and swallowed deep, exulting in the hoarse cries his action inspired. Mulder arched off the bed screwing himself as far down Krycek's throat as he could. With a pang of regret, Krycek abruptly released him, then gave a careful, if cruel, tug to Mulder's balls. 

"Sonofabitch!" Mulder shouted, and his eyes flashed murder. "Sorry," Alex chuckled. "But I do really want you to fuck me." Reaching across to the bedside table, he handed the lube to Mulder. "Still want me on top?" 

Mulder nodded and took the tube, gesturing for Krycek to move closer and turn around. Krycek quickly positioned himself until he was straddling Mulder's chest, his back to him. Mulder gazed admiringly at the strong back and firm ass as he unscrewed the top and squirted some gel onto his fingers. Without warning and without allowing it to warm up, he slid his finger between Krycek's asscheeks and over his opening, teasing it. 

Hissing at the cold, Krycek muttered "Payback's a bitch, huh?" Within moments, though, he was rocking backwards, pushing at Mulder's teasing finger. Mulder persisted in skittering, glancing touches, and Krycek was panting, lunging backwards each time with more desperation, more force. "Fuck, Mulder... please.. oh please... inside me..." 

As soon as the words fell from Krycek's lips, Mulder smiled, then eased his finger into the gripping heat, pushing against the resistance until Krycek's body accepted it. He slid it out, Krycek's half-whispered protestations soon becoming hisses of pleasure as Mulder gently worked another finger inside him, stretching, and stroking, teasing him. 

Mulder's fingers twisted to brush against his prostate and Krycek almost screamed, shocked to realize that he was already on that edge again. Moaning his regret, he slowly pulled himself away from Mulder's greedy fingers and turned around to straddle him again. "That's... enough. I'm ready." 

"Okay, I'm almost ready, too," he eyed the box of condoms on the nightstand, "unless you think I'm a gambling man." 

"Better safe than sorry," Krycek said wryly, and reached over to hand a condom to Mulder. He sat back on his heels, with a possessive, unblinking gaze as he watched Mulder roll the condom over his cock. Without a word, Krycek handed him the lube, licking his lips in anticipation as Mulder slicked himself. 

The moment Mulder finished, Krycek raised himself up, using his prosthetic arm to brace himself as his hand guided the tip of Mulder's cock. With a breathy moan, he began slowly lowering himself, exulting in the stretching burn, the feeling of being breached, opened up. 

Mulder closed his eyes, savoring the tight heat as Krycek's body slowly swallowed his cock. He placed his hands on Krycek's hips, helping to steady him, and resisted the urge to force his own hips upward. Breathing slowly, he allowed Krycek to take him inside as easily as he wanted. 

After the head of Mulder's cock was past the ring of muscle, Krycek took a deep breath and gave a violent push, sinking down the length of it until Mulder's balls were resting against his cock. He'd managed to hit his prostate and was shaking with the need to come. Bowing his head, Krycek held still, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. 

Opening his eyes as he felt his cock buried inside the incredible warmth of Krycek's body, Mulder was struck by the look on his face. They'd both wanted this moment for so long and now...now it was actually happening. Mulder's hands trailed over Krycek's hips, down his legs and back up, holding him as he started moving his hips. 

The first few thrusts of Mulder's cock sent molten shivers throughout his body. He arched his back, meeting Mulder's thrusts with tight, circular snaps of his hips. Krycek felt like he was going to come out of his skin from the rawness of it. Mulder wasn't holding back, but pounding into him, claiming him. Krycek had never felt so complete, so fulfilled. One of Mulder's hands traveled from his hip, and Krycek screamed as sharp nails raked across his nipples, then trailed down to grab his cock, pumping it in a rough rhythm that matched their movement. "Fuck... fuck.. god... too much. I'm going to... fuck..." 

"God....you're so beautiful...." Mulder whispered hoarsely, completely entranced in every sense by Krycek. The quick stiffening of his body as it tensed, so close to coming; the sound of his groans; the smell of sex, sharp in the air...it all combined until Mulder knew he couldn't hold back anymore. Stroking and pulling on Krycek's cock, he urged him on. "Come on...." he was so close "come on..." 

Realizing that Mulder was just as close, Krycek increased the pace, almost delirious with the need to *be* there. Twisting his hips, he managed to push Mulder's cock into his prostrate with every stroke, and he felt each sweet burst dance along his nerve endings. Within moments it was too much, and with a sharp cry he was exploding. Seemingly endless waves of pleasure wracked his body as Mulder milked his cock, unrelenting until Krycek was an emptied shell. 

The release was almost too much, so much more vivid and intense than anything Mulder could have possibly imagined. His body reacted to the crazed jerks and shudders of Krycek's orgasm, and he was coming, his hips thrusting, driving his cock deeper inside Alex. As his climax ripped through him, he didn't recognize the strangled cry that escaped his throat, concentrating only on the way his body shook and convulsed from the incredible pleasure of it all. Finally, his breathing gradually slowing, he lay quietly, completely sated and more content than he could remember being in a long time. He sighed heavily. "Alex...I..." 

Krycek collapsed on top of him, languorously nuzzling the sweat-sharp tang of Mulder's sweat, as the final aftershocks played through his body. "What?" he asked lazily, his tongue drawing circles along Mulder's collarbone. 

"Mmmm...nothing...." Mulder embraced Krycek, lightly trailing his fingers over his back. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing Alex's hair. 

"Hmmm, no, thank you," Krycek murmured. The languid pleasure was making his eyes heavy and he burrowed further into Mulder's heat. 

"What happens now?" Mulder asked, tightening his arms around his lover. 

Krycek smiled against Mulder's chest. "Well, I think we fall asleep, then wake up and do it all over again." 

Mulder laughed softly. "That works for me." He lazily rubbed Krycek's back, his eyes drooping. "But how do I know you'll be here when I wake up?" 

"I will be," Alex whispered, his voice becoming thick with sleep. "And even if I left, you could just come get me upstairs." 

Mulder dropped his arms and tried to sit up a little. "Why would you leave?" 

Krycek made a vague sound of protest at Mulder's movement, then settled again. "I wouldn't, I won't. I'm just pointing out that I couldn't go very far." 

Settling back down, Mulder frowned. "I guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop." 

Krycek sighed, giving up on any idea of sleep. He supposed they needed to have this talk, but wondered if it was too much to ask to have some peace before reality rudely intruded. Shifting up, he gave Mulder a brief, gentle kiss. "I know... Me, too. Where do you want to go from here, Mulder? What do you see happening?" 

"I hadn't really thought about it." He lowered his eyes. "I assume that you're only interested in—I don't expect anything more from you than..." he swallowed nervously, "the sex." 

Rolling over on his side, Krycek propped up his head so he could look at Mulder. "I.." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Mulder, that's not all I want. But I don't know, there's so much shit between us, I just... I don't know." 

"Okay....that's all I needed to know," Mulder said softly. "It's okay." 

Krycek willfully ignored the heaviness he suddenly felt, and moved back into Mulder's embrace. He inhaled deeply, loving the scent of this man, all the more enticing for the musky scent of sex that partially obscured it. Closing his eyes, he just wanted to pretend. Just this once, he wanted to believe that there weren't a million reasons why he would never have this man. 

Mulder smiled, allowing himself to drift into an easy sleep, but not before being grateful for everything that had happened. 

Hearing Mulder's breathing even out, Krycek felt his tension melt away. Talking was over for now. Shifting slightly, he made himself comfortable, then followed Mulder into sleep. 

Krycek snuggled into his pillow, vaguely disturbed to realize it was hairy, but not awake enough to really care about it. When he realized that it was moving, gently up and down, he awoke with a start. *What the fuck?!* He sat up quickly enough to cause a headrush, and memories came flooding back. Mulder. He was in Mulder's bed. 

Gazing down at the sleeping man, he felt an odd moment of tenderness along with a sudden rush of blood to his cock. Reaching out, he cautiously ran his hand down the side of Mulder's face. Mulder shook his head slightly and murmured something incomprehensible. Unable to resist, Krycek bent down to kiss the parted lips. 

Mulder's eyes opened at the sensation of soft lips against his own, and he smiled against Krycek's mouth. "Hey," he said finally. 

"Hi," Krycek whispered against his mouth, then closed the distance for another kiss. 

"How'd you sleep?" Mulder asked lazily as Krycek began kissing and nipping at his neck. 

"Like the dead." Krycek's head moved back up to nibble along Mulder's jawline. "How about you?" 

"Mmmm, like I haven't in years." Mulder stroked the back of Alex's neck. 

Alex pushed into the touch, almost wondering if he was still asleep. After everything that had happened between them, he never expected tenderness. 

"I'm surprised you're still here, " Mulder said suddenly. 

"I told you I'd stay," Alex chided, and began trail kisses down Mulder's chest. 

"Yeah, well, I wasn't sure if that was part of the whole thing." Sardonically. 

Lifting his head, Alex stared at him for a long moment. "Part of what thing?" 

"*This* thing. This acting out our fantasies stuff." He sat up a little. "It's okay if you were just playing along. That's all I was doing." 

Alex swallowed against the bright pain that flared up at those words. Steeling himself, he made himself place a light, licking kiss on Mulder's stomach, giving himself a moment until he could trust his voice. "Well, the sleeping over wasn't so much part of the fantasy —I was just too tired to move after you fucked me." Glancing up at Mulder, he managed a grin. 

"Yeah, that's what I figured." He smirked. "You really ought to consider an acting career, Krycek. You were *very* convincing last night." 

Alex went lower, using foreplay to mask his sudden lack of composure. Snaking his tongue out, he liked a wide swath along Mulder's cock. "Hmmmm. So were you." 

Mulder gasped and bucked his hips. He wasn't going to discourage Krycek if he wanted to suck him off one more time. "It's a gift," he said, finally. 

Hearing Mulder's smug tone, Krycek realized he couldn't go through with it. He needed to get out of here. *Now.* Forcing himself to sit up slowly, he smiled at Mulder. "Yeah, it's a definite gift. But, I've got to get going." 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Mulder said, trailing his hand over Krycek's shoulder and down his chest. 

Krycek cursed his body for its automatic response and took a deliberate step backwards, bending to pick up his shirt. He carefully worked his prosthetic arm into it, then pulled it over his head. Grabbing his pants from the floor, he shrugged. "Yeah, well. I'm sure you'll survive." 

Mulder put his hands behind his head and stretched out on the bed, an amused expression on his face. "Guess it wasn't an act, was it?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Come on, Krycek. If you felt as casual about this as you say you do, you wouldn't be rushing out of here like some disillusioned schoolgirl." 

"And here I was hoping to get out of here without a scene. The fantasy's over, Mulder. I got what I wanted, and I don't see any reason to stick around." Krycek scowled at the floor, desperate to get out of there. "Where the fuck is my other sock?" 

Mulder got off the bed and helped him look. "Here it is." He held it out for him to take. 

"Thanks." Krycek took it and sat down on the bed to pull it on. 

Mulder squatted next to him, leaning casually on his knee. His hand grazed Krycek's crotch and he looked up at him. "You sure you don't want to stay for a few minutes?" Sliding his hand firmly to Krycek's inner thigh, massaging him through the denim. "Just for the hell of it?" 

Krycek wanted to flinch, but forced himself to remain still. Giving Mulder a tight smile, he shook his head. "Nah, last night was enough. Thanks for the offer, though." 

"Yeah, right," Mulder smiled up at him, his fingers unfastening Krycek's fly and reaching inside, finding him already half hard. "You're such a liar, Alex," he said softly, releasing Krycek's cock and quickly flicking his tongue over the head. 

Mulder's mouth felt so damn good, Krycek couldn't keep a groan from escaping. For a moment he gave into it, staring down in lust-fuelled fascination as Mulder began sucking him in earnest. He knew he couldn't stay. There was no way he could get through this without betraying the way he felt. Slowly he pulled out of Mulder's mouth and carefully zipped his pants. "Like I said, Mulder, I really do need to go." 

"Gee, Krycek," Mulder stood up, "if I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't attracted to me anymore." His hand caressed the side of Krycek's face. "Guess this means no more Friday night chats, huh?" 

"Ah, well, you never know. Why, you going to miss them?" 

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" 

"True enough, they were fun. I'll see you, Mulder." Krycek turned and began walking out of the bedroom. 

Mulder watched him for a split second before running up behind him and slamming him face first against the wall. 

Pain exploded across Alex's face and he began cursing as he felt Mulder's cock pressing into the seam of his jeans. *You'd think I'd know not to turn my back on him.* Krycek tasted the sour tang of blood in his mouth and wondered vaguely if Mulder had broken his nose. "Fuck, Mulder, what do you want from me?" 

"I thought you'd like this," Mulder said, reaching around undoing Krycek's jeans, then unceremoniously yanking them down over his hips. "You seem to like me being in control." He licked the back of Krycek's neck before biting it hard enough to draw blood. 

"There's dominance fantasies, and then there's rape. Just take no for an answer and leave me the fuck alone." 

"See, Krycek," Mulder pushed his cock against Krycek's ass, "you sound just as convincing as you did last night, and you said you were lying then, so...." He roughly grabbed Krycek's erection. 'Ah, this is encouraging." 

"That doesn't mean shit, Mulder. I've been half hard since I woke up." Krycek pushed backwards as hard as he could, trying to buck Mulder off. "Let me go, damnit." 

"You *are* good at this role-playing stuff, Alex," he whispered into his ear before slamming him into the wall again. Giving Krycek's cock another squeeze, he moved his hand back to spread Alex asscheeks, then thrust into him. Still loose from last night's fucking, Krycek's body allowed Mulder fairly easy access. "Aren't you going to fight me some more, Alex?" Mulder groaned into his ear as he started fucking him. 

Krycek made another half-hearted attempt to throw Mulder off, but it failed miserably, only serving to push Mulder deeper inside him. And the hell of it was that Krycek did want this. Mulder felt so damn good, even like this, and Krycek felt the last of his resolve crumple before his desire. He couldn't decide if he hated himself or Mulder more for it. 

Mulder gritted his teeth and started moving his hips, the tightness enveloping his cock too good to give up no matter how he felt about the man. He could tell that Krycek was giving in to him, and knew it had to be killing him. Chuckling into Krycek's ear. "So, you want this now, huh?" 

Moaning, Krycek shook his head, he might admit wanting this to himself, but he was damned if he's say it aloud to Mulder. The only answer he gave was to push back even harder into Mulder's thrusts, reaching down to pump his cock in time to their movement. 

Mulder grinned at the response. "You don't have to admit it. I know," he said breathlessly, increasing the force of his thrusts until he was pounding into Krycek. He didn't want to hurt him, but he needed to make him remember this. Needed to know that when Krycek lay in his bed at night, the only thing he'd be able to think about was the feeling of Mulder's cock filling him, driving into him. 

Too soon, he felt the telltale tension grip the back of his thighs, signaling that this was going to be over before he was ready. 

Krycek couldn't even feel the pain of his battered face any longer, all he could feel was Mulder's cock inside him, Mulder's thrusts pounding him ruthlessly. The tension coiled almost unbearably within him, he was already shaking so hard, he didn't know what would happen when he actually came. Frantic now, his hand was making sloppy, jerky movements, he couldn't seem to marshal any coordination. His thumb grazed his cockhead, and that was it. Come streaming against the wall in front of him, Krycek's knees gave out as his vision blurred. 

That's all it took, and Mulder let himself come, shooting deep inside Alex, continuing to push into him even as he felt like he was losing control of his body. Shakily holding onto Krycek's hips, Mulder shuddered against him, unable to give him anything more. He let his weight fall against Krycek, pinning him to the wall. "Tell me that's what you wanted," he whispered. 

"Fuck you, Mulder." 

Laughing, Mulder nuzzled Alex's neck. "Okay, you can say that if it makes you feel better." 

"Can I leave now?" He tried to inject as much sarcasm into the question as he could, but was appalled to hear it had a plaintive note. Fuck, he needed to get out of here, away from *him.* 

Mulder moved back, almost sad to leave the warmth of Alex's body. "I'm not going to force you to stay." 

Krycek snorted, pulling his pants up and fastening them. Again. "That's not what it seemed like a few minutes ago. You remember? Me walking away, you attacking me?" 

Mulder turned him around. "I know you liked it. It's exactly what you'd have me do if we were chatting." 

Krycek sighed, suddenly feeling ancient. "Yeah, Mulder. If we'd been chatting." With a weary shrug, he walked out of the room. 

Mulder watched him leave, knowing it wouldn't be too long before he came back. 

* * *

April 2000   
Disclaimers: Chris Carter owns 'em, we just swipe 'em when he's not looking.   
Rating: NC-17 for M/K nastiness.   
Series: Hit and Run   
Summary: A chat leads to a close encounter.   
Notes: Thanks to Mock for the beta! _mwah_ It really helps to know what's been happening up to this point.   
Feedback: All kinds accepted. [email removed]   
---


	5. Part V: Gridlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run V**

Gridlock   
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie 

  
**< FMldr>** Well, look who the cat dragged in. 

**< Handyman>** Damn. I didn't think I'd ever used this name with you. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you did. For the very first of our illustrious chats. 

**< Handyman>** ::shrug:: My mistake. So, what do you want Mulder? 

**< FMldr>** Well, what you always seem to want when you harass me. How're you doing, Krycek? 

**< Handyman>** I'm fine. 

**< Handyman>** You? 

**< FMldr>** I'm great! Though for a while there I was wondering if you'd disappeared from the face of the earth, or something. 

**< Handyman>** Well, as you can see I'm still here. Now, if that's all... 

**< FMldr>** No, that's not all. I never got a chance to thank you before you left. 

**< Handyman>** Well, Mulder, you're welcome. Have a nice night. 

**< FMldr>** What's the matter, Krycek? First you clear out of your apartment, now you don't want to talk to me. 

**< Handyman>** ::shrug:: I got what I wanted, didn't feel the need to hang around afterwards. 

**< FMldr>** I see. 

**< Handyman>** Any more questions? Or can I get back to what I was doing? 

**< FMldr>** what were you doing? 

**< Handyman>** Cybering with Scully. 

**< FMldr>** Cool. How'd that go? She hot? 

**< Handyman>** Yeah, Mulder, a real firecracker. 

**< FMldr>** I bet. Gotta be the red hair. 

**< Handyman>** Must be it. Well, you take care of yourself. 

**< FMldr>** Wow. You surprise me, Krycek. 

**< Handyman>** How so? 

**< FMldr>** I signed on hoping to see you, not only because you've been MIA for a couple of weeks, but also because I was starting to enjoy our chats. Now you're so.... You're acting like me. 

**< Handyman>** LOL! I don't know quite what to say to that. 

**< FMldr>** Well, if you're insulted, you could let me have it....if not, you could tell me how pleased you are. Your choice. 

**< Handyman>** Well, I'm not sure either of those options cover it, really. 

**< FMldr>** Then why don't you tell me what would? 

**< Handyman>** Well, I'm not insulted, and can't say I'm pleased. I think I'm going to have to go for amused at the comparison, but largely indifferent. 

**< FMldr>** oh, okay. Well, at least you're not saying you have to leave. 

**< Handyman>** No, I guess I'm not. 

**< Handyman>** Though I can't say I really see the point of this conversation. 

**< FMldr>** Oh right. Because you got what you wanted, right? Funny. 

**< Handyman>** ::shrug:: What can I say? I'm fickle and easily bored once I get what I want. 

**< FMldr>** Of course. Would you believe I missed you? 

**< Handyman>** Well, I have to say it's a stretch. 

**< FMldr>** Why wouldn't I miss you? Best sex I've ever had! 

**< Handyman>** Yeah, it wasn't bad. I'm sure you could find it elsewhere, though. 

**< FMldr>** Sure, but screwing you has a certain appeal. 

**< Handyman>** Well, I'm flattered, but not really interested. Thanks, though. 

**< FMldr>** Okay, can we drop the pretense now? 

**< Handyman>** It's not a pretense, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** Well, I know you're pissed off at me for breaking your little heart. 

**< Handyman>** Breaking my heart? Are you on something? 

**< FMldr>** Nothing but bourbon, but that's got nothing to do with this. 

**< Handyman>** Ah, well that explains your impaired judgment. 

**< FMldr>** Well, it wasn't impaired the night you came over. 

**< Handyman>** Well, that makes one of us. 

**< FMldr>** Really? Do tell. 

**< Handyman>** ::shrug:: Well, it wasn't really what I was expecting, was actually pretty disappointing. In retrospect, I think it should have stayed a fantasy. But hey, it was hot, I got off, I can't say I regret it. 

**< FMldr>** LOL! oh, okay, that's supposed to hurt, right? Well, maybe you're right. I mean, in your fantasies I probably love you back, right? 

**< Handyman>** ::rolling my eyes:: You are drunk. Yeah, Mulder, the fact that we didn't ride off into the sunset just about killed me. You're a real heartbreaker. I'll never get over you. 

**< Handyman>** Is that better? 

**< FMldr>** Well, probably closer to the truth than the bullshit you tried to play off when you left here. 

**< Handyman>** Oh this will be good. Please tell me what you mean. 

**< FMldr>** Well, it's obvious that you meant what you were saying that night. 

**< Handyman>** Oh, and here I'd forgotten all about that poetic declaration of love I made. 

**< FMldr>** It's okay....you can admit that you wanted to be there and that I really hurt you when I rejected your feelings. 

**< Handyman>** I'll definitely admit that I wanted to be there —wouldn't have been there otherwise. I'm still a little confused on the bit about you rejecting my feelings, though. Were you drunk then, too? 

**< FMldr>** Nope. It's okay. You can deny whatever you like. It's only a professional opinion and nothing else. Better? 

**< Handyman>** You don't handle rejection well, do you? 

**< FMldr>** Sure I do. But maybe I should defer to your knowledge on that subject. 

**< Handyman>** Well, if you consider pathetic, delusional accusations a healthy way of handling rejection, yeah. I suppose you do. 

**< FMldr>** Awww, I should have expected you to say something like that. Okay, Krycek, I'll let you go. You go nurse your wounds some more and I'll talk to you when you aren't feeling so fragile. 

**< Handyman>** Um, sure, Mulder. I do have to go cry now. Bye! 

**< FMldr>** Goodnight, Alex.

* * *

**< FMldr>** Hey, stranger. 

**< A_K_A>** What the fuck?. I *know* I never used this name with you. 

**< FMldr>** And your point would be? 

**< A_K_A>** How did you get this? 

**< FMldr>** Ahh....some things were meant to be a secret. 

**< A_K_A>** No, really Mulder. How the hell did you get this? 

**< FMldr>** Three little birds told me. 

**< A_K_A>** Damnit. Those geek friends of yours are entirely too much trouble. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, well, they do have their good qualities. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, forgive me if I can't really appreciate them right now. 

**< FMldr>** You know, I have the impression you were trying to hide from me. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, *hide* is a little strong. I've just been avoiding you. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I figured... Can't blame you, I guess. 

**< A_K_A>** Really? That's something of a surprise. 

**< FMldr>** Well, you can't accuse me of being boring 

**< A_K_A>** ::laughing:: No, Mulder, you're right. I really can't. 

**< FMldr>** Hey...you're laughing. Does this mean you want to talk to me now? 

**< A_K_A>** Well, regardless of whether or not I want to —I suppose I really should considering all the trouble you went to... 

**< FMldr>** Thanks 

**< A_K_A>** Um, you're welcome? 

**< FMldr>** So, where have you been? 

**< A_K_A>** Here, there... 

**< FMldr>** Yeah? Mostly there, I bet... 

**< A_K_A>** I'm surprised your buddies haven't figured that one out, too. 

**< FMldr>** Well, I do know what cities you've been in, but I was trying to make conversation, really 

**< A_K_A>** Are you trying to give me a good reason to kill your only friends? 

**< FMldr>** No, they were just doing me a favor. If you should kill anyone, it should be me. 

**< A_K_A>** Don't tempt me, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** Guess I deserve that. 

**< A_K_A>** You think? 

**< FMldr>** Yeah. Alex...I'm sorry. 

**< A_K_A>** Are you drinking again? 

**< FMldr>** I've only had one. 

**< A_K_A>** Can't hold your liquor, Mulder? 

**< FMldr>** I know what I'm saying, Alex. 

**< A_K_A>** Good for you. 

**< FMldr>** Sorry...I guess this was a bad idea. 

**< A_K_A>** Gee? You think so? But since you went to all this trouble to find little ol' me.... 

**< FMldr>** Well, I don't want to make you talk to me if you'd rather spend your time hating me. 

**< A_K_A>** Don't worry, Mulder, I don't hate you. And you're really amusing the hell out of me. 

**< FMldr>** Oh yeah? What am I doing that's so amusing now? 

**< A_K_A>** Well, I don't want to anger you— you'll go off in a huff, and then who will amuse me? 

**< FMldr>** So, what am I doing? I just want to make sure I keep it up. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, you know how you used to accuse me of being pathetic and obsessed? 

**< FMldr>** Yeah. 

**< A_K_A>** I'm sure you can figure it out. 

**< FMldr>** Oh. You think I'm pathetic? 

**< A_K_A>** Well, Mulder, you said it first. 

**< FMldr>** You're right, I guess. 

**< A_K_A>** Oh, you *must* be drunk again. 

**< FMldr>** I don't know, maybe I am. I've just had a lot of time to think... 

**< A_K_A>** Oh, do tell. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, right. 

**< A_K_A>** No, really. I'm intrigued. 

**< A_K_A>** And I care. 

**< FMldr>** Alex, please don't fuck with me, tonight, okay? I don't know what I thought I'd accomplish by talking to you. 

**< A_K_A>** Okay, I won't fuck with you. But you might as well say what's on your mind. I mean, there had to be a reason you went to all this trouble to find me. 

**< FMldr>** I just.... It's been a month since our last chat, Alex. In all that time, I couldn't stop thinking about you and I guess... I don't know, I think I missed you. Go ahead, laugh. I don't expect you to buy it. 

**< A_K_A>** I'm not laughing, Mulder. Though I am amazed at just how lonely you must be to feel that way about someone like me. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I couldn't figure it out either. 

**< A_K_A>** Maybe you're just ill. I'm sure it's nothing a little time on a couch couldn't solve. 

**< FMldr>** Trust me, I've been putting in a lot of time on the couch, and not the one I'm sure you're referring to. I've just about worn a hole in that tape you sent me. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, let me know —I could always send you my copy. 

**< FMldr>** You'd do that for me? 

**< A_K_A>** ::shrug:: Sure. You're welcome to it. 

**< FMldr>** Would you deliver it in person? 

**< A_K_A>** Don't push your luck. 

**< FMldr>** Well, can't blame a guy for trying. 

**< A_K_A>** Okay, I won't hold it against you. 

**< FMldr>** Aww, I really wish you would... 

**< A_K_A>** Well, okay then. I'm in a generous mood. I *do* blame you for trying, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** ::shaking head:: Never mind 

**< A_K_A>** LOL! I just can't win. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, that makes two of us 

**< A_K_A>** Awww! Poor Mulder. Have another drink. 

**< FMldr>** Thanks, I will, but I really hate drinking alone. Care to join me? 

**< A_K_A>** Why not? I'll grab a beer. 

**< FMldr>** Great. Thanks. 

**< A_K_A>** No problem, Mulder. 

**< FMldr>** Alex, can we talk about what happened when you came over here? I'll understand if you don't want to since it meant nothing to you... 

**< A_K_A>** Well, what is it that you want to talk about? 

**< FMldr>** How much I fucked it up. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, you could work on your seduction techniques. Pretending to kill someone at the beginning might not be the best approach. 

**< FMldr>** That was completely unacceptable. You have no idea how sorry I am about that. I really don't know what got into me....I guess I figured you'd know I was bluffing, and I thought you were just playing along. I mean, why would I want you to come over just so I could kill you? Wait, don't answer that. 

**< A_K_A>** Um, yeah. I think it's best if I don't. 

**< FMldr>** It's just that our chats had been so... I wanted you here because I had to make it real. And I thought you'd want it too. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, Mulder, there's real, and then there's fucking psychotic. 

**< FMldr>** I know. And I can't say anything except I'm sorry and I honestly thought you'd know I was just fucking around. When you got so upset, I thought that was part of it, and I couldn't keep a straight face to keep playing along...I felt ridiculous. That doesn't make it better, but it's what I was thinking. 

**< A_K_A>** Hmmm. That doesn't really jive with the impression I got. But then, I thought I was about to die. That might have colored my perceptions a bit.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I can see how that would happen. Well, it doesn't matter now because you made yourself very clear the next day. 

**< A_K_A>** Forgive me, though, if I'm a little skeptical about you being so sure that I realized it was just a game. And for that matter, I'm not so sure it was a game for you. I mean, taking our history into account, and your penchant for violence against me - I don't think you wanting to kill me is much of a stretch. 

**< FMldr>** But you liked it when I *killed* you in my fantasy. 

**< A_K_A>** Um, that was a *chat* Mulder. And as you'll recall, that little fantasy is one of the reasons I was so hesitant to come over there in the first place. And it turned out to be a pretty valid concern, really. 

**< FMldr>** Alex, I thought you were kidding about that! Forget it, I don't know why I thought you'd believe me. Look, I was wrong, but like I said, it's a moot point. You were just there to fuck me over and leave. 

**< A_K_A>** It's ironic how it turned out then, isn't it? 

**< FMldr>** Not really. I guess deep down I knew there was no way you'd... Anyway, you can chalk up my attempt to get you to admit your feelings to wishful thinking. 

**< A_K_A>** You know, in addition to working on your seduction technique, you might want to rethink how you try to get people to open up to you. 

**< FMldr>** You'd think if anyone would know how to do that, it would be me, but.... you drive me absolutely crazy. This whole thing is crazy. Ask Scully. I've been useless at work. 

**< A_K_A>** Oh, sure, Mulder. I'll call her right up. I'm sure she'd be happy to chat with me about you. 

**< FMldr>** I didn't mean it literally. 

**< A_K_A>** Oh, well that's disappointing. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I can tell you're broken up about it. 

**< A_K_A>** Now, now. Have you learned nothing about making assumptions about how I feel about things? 

**< FMldr>** You'd think that, wouldn't you? 

**< A_K_A>** ::shrug:: Maybe, but I don't know that I expect it. 

**< FMldr>** Yeah, well, I didn't expect any of this, so I'm with you there. 

**< A_K_A>** So, Mulder, what exactly is it that you want? 

**< FMldr>** I want you to come over. I know you're in DC. 

**< A_K_A>** I don't think that would be a good idea. 

**< FMldr>** I didn't say it was a good idea. You asked me what I wanted. I told you. 

**< A_K_A>** Fair enough. 

**< FMldr>** I didn't expect you to agree. 

**< A_K_A>** You're finally starting to show some sense. 

**< FMldr>** Wow...Scully would be impressed. 

**< A_K_A>** You should tell her all about it. 

**< FMldr>** Somehow I don't think telling her about my choice of lovers would go over all that well. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, maybe she'd feel better if you pointed out that one night doesn't really make us lovers. 

**< FMldr>** Maybe I should have said preferred choice... 

**< A_K_A>** Gee, Mulder. That makes me sound like a piece of meat. I could have USDA Approved tattooed on my ass. 

**< FMldr>** Well, you do have a grade A ass. 

**< FMldr>** Oh god, did I just say that? 

**< A_K_A>** Why yes, you did. 

**< FMldr>** Damn. 

**< A_K_A>** I'm sure you'll get over it. 

**< FMldr>** And it's not like I could say anything else to make you think I'm even more of an idiot. 

**< A_K_A>** I don't think you're an idiot, not at all. 

**< FMldr>** Right. You're playing me and you don't think I'm an idiot? Nice try. 

**< A_K_A>** I'm not playing you. But I do think you're trying to play me. I'm not buying this act. 

**< FMldr>** Why do you think this is an act? 

**< A_K_A>** Well, for one, it makes a hell of a lot more sense than you suddenly becoming a remorseful, needy idiot. 

**< FMldr>** True. But four weeks and two days is a long time when it comes to getting used to something like this. You haven't had that luxury. 

**< A_K_A>** You don't honestly expect me to believe you're a reformed man? 

**< FMldr>** I didn't say I was reformed. 

**< A_K_A>** Okay, let's try remorseful again— and hell, I'll throw in "contrite" for good measure, too. 

**< FMldr>** You're too kind. 

**< A_K_A>** Yeah, it's one of my better qualities, really. 

**< FMldr>** But not your best, certainly. 

**< A_K_A>** Oh and what in the world might you think is my best quality?? Hmm, I'm betting against my cold, ruthless nature. And the ability to kill without guilt is probably out, too. Let's see, it must be my sexual prowess. 

**< FMldr>** Damn, you're sharp, Alex. You're not cold or ruthless, and you can't always kill without guilt, so... 

**< A_K_A>** No, I am pretty cold and ruthless, actually. And I can't remember the last time I felt a shred of guilt over killing someone. I apologize if I'm wrecking some fantasy you have about me regretting killing your father. 

**< FMldr>** Huh....maybe you're right. 

**< A_K_A>** Yeah, I think I am. 

**< FMldr>** So what's my problem then? 

**< A_K_A>** I don't know. You tell me. 

**< FMldr>** I wish I knew. 

**< A_K_A>** Well, this insecure, needy act is really getting old, Mulder. You might as well give up on it now. You're not going to get away with whatever mind-fuck you were planning. 

**< FMldr>** Why are you so paranoid? If you don't care about me, I don't see the need for you to care so much about whether or not this is a mind- fuck. 

**< A_K_A>** LOL!! You're right. I don't care if you want to fuck with my mind. But whether this is a game or sincere, the point is, it's boring. And annoying. It lost any amusement value quite awhile ago. 

**< FMldr>** Okay. Good night, Alex. 

**< A_K_A>** Bye!

* * *

Mulder walked out the door of his apartment building and jogged quickly down the stairs. Sitting in a car down the street, Krycek sat up straight, tossing aside a bag of chips as he started the engine. He stared with hunger at the sight of Mulder stretching on the lawn, his gaze locked until Mulder finally moved to run down the street. Shaking his head to dispel the sudden rush of crippling lust, Alex pulled the car out, driving ahead to one of the more secluded spots on Mulder's regular route.

He parked the car, and grabbing a few things, moved behind a tree to wait. 

Staring down the street, Krycek tried to ignore the edgy anticipation he was feeling. He'd been planning this for awhile, and couldn't afford to let nerves wreck it. A few long minutes later, Mulder appeared around the corner. His head was slightly down, and Krycek could tell his mind was elsewhere, hardly aware of his surroundings. As soon as Mulder was past him, Krycek ran after. As soon as he was within reach, he grabbed Mulder from behind, jamming a gun in his back and throwing a black hood over his face.

Checking that no one was witnessing the little scene, he began pushing Mulder toward the waiting car.

Mulder's first thought was complete panic and he bit back a cry at the surprise attack and sudden claustrophobia. He didn't struggle—the gun in his back was enough for him to resist doing that . As he felt himself being shoved forward, he tried to keep his voice calm.

"Who are you? What do you want?" He didn't expect any answers, but hoped to recognize a voice, or at least find out if there was more than one person there.

Krycek smiled to himself, thoroughly enjoying Mulder's obvious panic. He decided not to reply, reaching instead to grab the handcuffs he had open and dangling from his belt. A familiar pang of regret for his lost arm hit him as he managed to snap them shut with his prosthesis around Mulder's wrists. Opening the car door, he shoved Mulder into the passenger seat, and pulled the seat belt across him, restraining him further.

Mulder wondered at a kidnapper who was so concerned with his safety, but figured it was just one more way to keep him immobile. He heard the door on his side slam closed and waited, his heart pounding. He knew he had to keep his wits about him if he wanted to get out of this alive. When he heard the driver's door open and shut, he turned toward his abductor.

"What do you want? Where are you taking me?" Fruitless questions, he knew, but he was hoping for something, anything, that would tell him who was behind this.

Enjoying the increasing hysteria that underlaid Mulder's tone, Krycek shook his head, and decided to remain silent for now. Suddenly regretting that the place he'd set up was so nearby, he considered driving around for awhile, just to play further on Mulder's terror. It probably wouldn't be wise to drive further than he needed to with a hooded man as a companion, though, so Krycek gave a small shrug and drove the few blocks to the small house.

He parked in the garage, and resisted a chuckle when Mulder visibly tensed as he shut off the engine. Walking around to the passenger side, he roughly pulled Mulder from the car, pushing the gun against the small of his back for emphasis as he let them in the house.

As he was taken inside, Mulder reasoned that they weren't too far from where he lived. At least he would have an idea about where he was when he escaped. He wouldn't let himself think too much: just because he hadn't been driven out to a secluded area didn't mean he wasn't going to be killed. For all he knew, he was going to be questioned, perhaps tortured. He couldn't imagine he knew anything that would make someone resort to kidnapping a federal agent. Whatever was happening, he knew he needed to stay calm. Licking his lips, he turned his head slightly.

"Gee, I've let you handcuff me and put a hood over my head. When do I get my turn?" He tried to keep his voice steady and neutral, but knew he'd failed miserably.

Krycek smiled. Only Mulder would attempt humor, albeit pathetic humor, in a situation like this. He felt an odd surge of affection before he ruthlessly suppressed it. This was about revenge and getting what he wanted. He couldn't let himself forget that.

He pushed Mulder down the hallway and up the narrow staircase until they reached the bedroom. Walking into the room, he gave Mulder a sharp shove, which sent the man sprawling across the bed. Placing the gun down, he quickly flipped Mulder onto his back, and immediately attached one of the ankle restraints that was connected to the bedpost. Mulder attempted a brief struggle, cursing under his breath, but with his hands cuffed behind his back it was little more than a token effort. As soon as he had both legs restrained, Krycek pulled Mulder up into a sitting position, and made short work of chaining his arms to the bed.

_Okay, this is not what I expected._ The thought would have been comical if Mulder wasn't still trying to ascertain where he was and why he was there.

He made another useless attempt at getting free, but he knew he was securely tied down. What the fuck was going on? This didn't jibe with any scenario he'd been running in his head, and he was at a loss. Who in the world would kidnap him and tie him down to a bed? And why would they, unless... Despite his apprehension, he smiled under the hood and took a shot.

"Alex?"

Pleased in spite of himself, Alex grinned and reached over to tug the hood off Mulder's head. "Good guess."

Relief took over and Mulder started laughing. "What the hell are you doing? If you wanted to tie me down this badly, I would have cooperated."

Alex shrugged and picked up a hunting knife, hefting it in his hand for a moment before looking back at Mulder. "But this way, I got to scare the shit out of you." With a tight smile, he walked towards the bed.

Mulder's smile froze on his face as he watched the knife in Alex's hand. "Uh, to be honest, you're still scaring the shit out of me."

Krycek laughed and sat down on the bed next to Mulder, trailing the knife lightly down Mulder's t-shirt. "That's nice to hear." 

Mulder swallowed nervously. At this point, he didn't give a shit if Krycek knew he was scared. But maybe this was just part of some game. That thought calmed him a bit and he smiled easily. "I wondered if you'd be into knife play."

Shaking his head, Krycek moved the knife up and began slicing through the neck of Mulder's shirt. "You are one sick fuck, Mulder." Letting himself enjoy Mulder's hiss at the feeling of cold metal against his skin, Krycek smiled. "I suggest you try not to move too much." He made quick work of Mulder's shirt, and was soon tugging away the jagged pieces.

Making no comment as Krycek divested him of his t-shirt, Mulder felt a sudden, aching tingle in his groin. Whatever was planned for today, he was sure it would be good. He quirked an eyebrow as Krycek threw the remains of his shirt on the floor. "You gonna buy me a new shirt, Alex?"

Krycek pulled at the waistband of Mulder's sweats and began slicing through the fleece. "Nah, I don't think replacing clothes is something kidnappers are in the habit of doing. You're just lucky I didn't grab you when you were on your way home from work, considering how much your suits cost."

Carefully watching where Krycek put the blade of the knife as he sliced through the sweats, Mulder made sure he was completely still. But having Krycek's hands so close to his cock was making it impossible for him to not become even more aroused. As cool air assaulted his skin, he sighed softly. "I'd sacrifice a suit for this."

Finishing with the sweats, Krycek pulled them off along with Mulder's shoes and socks. Standing up to look at him, Krycek gave an appreciative smile. Mulder looked gorgeous lying there, spread-eagled and cuffed, his skin still sheened with sweat from his earlier exercise and fear. Krycek's eyes focused on Mulder's jock strap, which was barely covering a growing erection. "Yeah, it looks like you're enjoying this."

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"No, I definitely expected you to enjoy this part of it." Krycek smiled and cut away the jock strap. Smiling at Mulder's moan, he placed the knife on the bedside table, and began gently stroking Mulder's cock.

Mulder bit his lip and bucked into Krycek's grip. This was too good. He had to admit a certain grudging respect for the way Krycek had gotten him here, and from the way things were proceeding, he had no doubt he was going to walk out of here a satisfied man. He closed his eyes and shivered slightly as Krycek traced the cockhead with his thumb. "I...I take it our last chat made you change your mind...about seeing me, I mean..."

"Something like that." Krycek bent over Mulder and took his cock in deep, swallowing until his throat was full. He set a fast pace, using his tongue, lips and throat to coax a creative litany of moans and curses from Mulder. Ignoring his own arousal for the moment, he forced himself to pay close attention to how close Mulder was getting.

Krycek's mouth was pure heat and Mulder pulled on his restraints, needing to touch him. He tried to tell Alex to release him, but could only manage a few incomprehensible groans as the slick warmth devoured him. Mulder soon felt a familiar tightness take hold and knew he wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer. Something in the back of his mind told him it didn't matter, that he'd have another chance to savor this, later.

Krycek's hand caressed Mulder's balls and their tightness confirmed his suspicion that Mulder was almost there. With one last, long suck, he abandoned Mulder's cock and reached across to the bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a thick metal ring. With an evil grin he attached it snugly to the base of Mulder's cock.

Mulder's eyes opened quickly. "What are you doing?"

Widening his eyes in mock innocence, Krycek grinned at him. "It's called a cock ring. It constricts the base of your cock and keeps you from coming."

"Uh, yeah...I know that. What do you say we hold off on the toys until later?" Mulder couldn't keep the whine out of his voice as his cock throbbed with the need for release.

Krycek cocked his head as if seriously considering Mulder's suggestion, then shook his head. "Nah, I think this is the perfect time for toys." He gave Mulder's cock a few rough strokes, then stood and began quickly stripping out of his clothes.

Mulder forced his breathing to slow and decided to enjoy the display as Krycek got undressed. He could wait as long as he needed to if it meant getting to fuck Alex again. "I meant what I said, you know." Returning naked to the bed, Alex laid next to him, and began lazily caressing Mulder's chest. "What was that?"

Mulder tried to remember exactly what he'd said to Krycek in their last chat, but was too distracted by the touch of his hand. "Uh...you know. About how sorry I am. I didn't want to scare you."

Leaning across his chest, Krycek's mouth latched onto one of Mulder's nipples, licking and sucking hard for a few minutes, before giving one sharp nip. He looked up at Mulder and smiled. "You know, I didn't believe you last time, and your credibility is even more strained now that I have you securely restrained with a few weapons within easy reach."

Mulder yelped at the sudden bite. "Why don't you believe that I could feel something for you?" he managed, finally.

"You know, Mulder, I've got you naked and chained to my bed. A sex toy is in use. Do we really have to talk about this right now?"

Mulder grinned. "I guess I can't argue with that logic." Maybe Alex had bought it after all.

"Good." Alex grinned, "Now let's see if I can make you stay quiet." He leaned over Mulder and kissed the slightly parted lips. 

Groaning softly, Mulder let himself melt into the kiss, his tongue seeking out Krycek's, the taste of him increasing his heightened desire.

Krycek lost himself in the kiss, reveling in just how talented Mulder's mouth was. When he finally pulled away, they were both panting, and Mulder's cock was so hard it almost looked painful. Giving him a smug smile, Krycek caressed Mulder's lower lip with the pad of his thumb. "I do enjoy your mouth."

His eyes never leaving Krycek's, Mulder opened his mouth and sucked briefly on the digit before speaking. "I'm sure you can think of something to do with it." That thought sent another shot to his cock and he shifted uncomfortably. If Krycek didn't do something soon, this was going to stop being fun.

"Hmmm, not a bad idea." Moving to straddle Mulder's chest, he held his cock and gave it a few languid strokes, watching with fascination as Mulder's eyes widened and he licked his lips. Krycek moved his cock so that the head of it brushed against Mulder's lips. 

His tongue flickered out to lick the pearly drops of moisture from the head, and Mulder parted his lips. He leaned as far forward as he could, taking as much of Krycek's cock into his mouth as possible. Licking and sucking, he whimpered in frustration as his arms strained against the chains. He needed to touch him, to feel the hardness in his hands.

Alex looked down at Mulder's struggles, his amusement almost as strong as his desire. This felt so damn good, was exactly what he needed. Pulling out of Mulder's mouth, he traced the head of his cock along the contours of his face, hissing at the sensation of sharp stubble, enjoying the sight of trails of saliva and precum adorning Mulder's cheeks. 

He returned to Mulder's open mouth, tracing his lips, but pulling away every time Mulder tried to suck him in. Leaning back on his haunches, he bent and kissed Mulder. "Okay, this is what I want you to do."

Mulder looked at him, his eyes pleading. "Tell me," he whispered.

Stroking the side of Mulder's face Krycek whispered, "I want you to open your mouth wide, cover your teeth with your lips. But that's it. I want to fuck your mouth, but I don't want you to do a goddamn thing, no licking, sucking, anything. You do that, and you'll be sorry."

Nodding quickly, Mulder complied, waiting for Krycek to do what he wanted.

Krycek smiled his approval and nudged his cock into Mulder's open, slack mouth. He began thrusting gently, more aroused than he thought he'd be by Mulder's acquiescence, his passivity. He deepened his thrusts slightly until his cock was at the back of Mulder's throat. "Swallow," he ordered softly.

Mulder did as he was told, leaving himself completely at Krycek's mercy. The thought didn't disturb him as much as it should have, and he didn't care. All he wanted to do was give Alex whatever he wanted to take. 

Krycek groaned at the sensation of Mulder's throat muscles tightly stroking him. He had to pause for a moment, throwing his head back as he fought to control himself. The moment passed, and he gave a few tentative thrusts, checking to see that he wasn't choking Mulder. Realizing that Mulder was handling it fine, he increased the pace and length of his thrusts, his hand reaching out to stroke Mulder's cheek, loving the feel of his cock outlined under the skin.

Time and again as Krycek thrust into his mouth, filling his senses with the taste and solid heat of his cock, Mulder had to force himself not to do more than he was told. There was no telling what Krycek would do, but every move made it more and more difficult to hold back. As he felt Krycek touch his face, Mulder flicked out his tongue and caressed the hard shaft, unable to resist any longer.

The feel of Mulder's tongue sent a sudden, delirious shock through him and he thrust even harder before Krycek remembered his warning. Pulling out with no little regret, he chuckled and fixed Mulder with a stern glare. "What did I tell you?"

Mulder simply stared back at him, not answering. 

He would take whatever Krycek dished out if it meant being able to continue.

Krycek leaned back and began stroking his cock, holding it just inches away from Mulder's mouth. " _What_ did I tell you?" he asked again, his tone sharp and harsh.

Eyeing Alex's cock, Mulder licked his lips. He could still taste him. "I'd be sorry," he muttered.

"Yeah," Alex breathed, beginning to rock his hips as he thrust into his hand. Mulder's eyes were locked on his cock, it didn't even look like he was blinking. It made Krycek's cock twitch, spilling even more precum along his hand. "You really want this, don't you?" he whispered, rocking forward slightly so that his cock just glanced across Mulder's lips, leaving a sticky string of precum.

Mulder nodded, licking the fluid from his lips. "Please..."

"No, I don't think so." Krycek increased the pace of his hand. "You disobeyed me, you fucking slut." Positioning himself so his thrusts brushed repeatedly against Mulder's lips, he started using the sharp, hard strokes he knew would take him over the edge. 

Watching with desperate fascination as Krycek jerked himself off, Mulder repeatedly tried to take him into his mouth until his lips and chin were coated with precum. He didn't care how he looked; he just needed Alex to give him what he wanted. His frustration grew with every brush against his face and he started struggling even more in his restraints.

The sight of Mulder's frantic struggles sparked something deep, and that was all it took. With a sharp cry, Krycek was shuddering, shooting come into Mulder's open mouth, over his chin, down his neck. The force of it was almost too much, and he felt himself shaking almost uncontrollably. Bracing himself against the headboard, he slumped against Mulder, his spent cock nestled under Mulder's chin. Softening, it twitched with aftershocks, brushing against Mulder's skin, and the feeling of evening stubble brushing against him made Krycek feel like his nerve endings were on fire.

Mulder swallowed eagerly, his tongue seeking out and lapping up as much of Krycek's come as he could. As Alex leaned over him, Mulder inhaled his sensual musk, rubbing his chin against him before placing a tentative kiss on coarse hair. There was no objection, so Mulder continued kissing whatever he could reach, still wishing that his hands were free in order to allow him to touch, to caress every part of him. 

Krycek just rested there, bonelessly, enjoying the feel of Mulder's hot, wet mouth moving against him. The position soon became uncomfortable, though, and he forced himself to sit up. Reaching down to run his fingers through Mulder's hair, Krycek's breath caught at the sight of him. 

Mulder's mouth and chin were still smeared with come, and his eyes were dark and hungry. Krycek moved to stretch out on top of Mulder, groaning at the feel of Mulder's hard cock pressed against his hip. Tangling his fingers in Mulder's hair, Krycek pulled him in for a kiss, sucking and licking at his come before claiming Mulder's mouth.

Mulder inhaled sharply at the intensity of the kiss before succumbing to it. He arched his back, pressing his body as firmly as he could to Krycek's, needing to make as much contact as he could, afraid that Alex would once again decide to stop just when Mulder needed him the most. Sucking hungrily at Krycek's mouth, Mulder savored every taste and sensation, and he could swear there was more than lust behind the kiss. He could almost swear that he was returning it with the same feeling.

Giving himself over to the kiss, Krycek began moving against Mulder, drowning in the sharp taste of Mulder's mouth, the urgent feel of his cock. For a wild moment, he considered abandoning his plan, letting himself just make love to Mulder. The thought brought him up cold, and he stilled, then lifted himself off Mulder. Ignoring Mulder's cry of distress he stood and walked to the door.

"I'll be back," he said curtly and walked out.

Mulder watched in disbelief as Krycek left the room. He knew that Alex had said he would be back, but that wasn't all that comforting a thought. Still, Mulder figured that even Krycek wouldn't want to leave things like this. Mulder could tell that they were both enjoying what was happening far too much for Krycek to abandon it just when things were getting good. He was curious as to what was coming next, though. He also had to admit that he'd never wanted anyone as much as Alex. He frowned. Of course, he meant at this moment in time and nothing else. Didn't he? He lay quietly, trying to be patient until Krycek returned.

Walking slowly down the stairs, Krycek shook his head at himself. A little fellatio, and he was already softening towards the bastard. He forced himself to remember the last time they were together, remember kneeling on the floor with the gun pressed into his skull, certain that he was going to die. Forced himself to remember Mulder's laughter.

_Yeah, that does the trick._ Krycek walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of the beers he'd stashed in the fridge. He'd drink it, give himself a couple of minutes before he went back upstairs. Krycek smiled to himself, imagining how freaked out Mulder must be by his disappearance.

Mulder was relieved when Krycek finally came back, his face stony, but he tried not to show it. He couldn't help admiring Alex's body as he sauntered back to the bed, and felt himself becoming even more aroused at the thought of what was going to happen next.

"Hmmm. That's starting to look a bit painful, Mulder."

"Careful, Alex. That almost sounds like you care."

"Not in the least." Krycek gave him a crooked grin. "Just checking."

Mulder shook off the unexpected sting he felt at Krycek's words. "Of course. Wouldn't want you doing anything as unnatural as that, would we?"

"It's not so much of a question of it being unnatural. I can care about people, actually. It's more that I wouldn't want to waste it on someone who didn't deserve it."

Forcing himself not to react, Mulder simply nodded. "I can understand that."

"Ah, the infamous Mulder guilt. Well, good." Krycek sat down on the bed, leaning casually against the baseboard.

"Alex, why did you do this?"

Shrugging, Alex smiled. "Thought it would be fun. I haven't been wrong about that so far..." He reached over and gave Mulder's cock a sharp tug.

Mulder couldn't hold back the groan and didn't even try. "Yeah...fun...but I'm still not convinced you don't feel more for me."

His face blank, Krycek gave another shrug. "Hey, if thinking I've got a secret crush on you gets you through this, who am I to contradict you?"

"Well," he said softly, "stranger things _have_ happened, you know."

Krycek snorted and shook his head. "Believe me, Mulder, I'm not one of your X-Files."

Mulder smiled stiffly. "And there's no point in pushing the issue, right? I guess if you didn't buy my chat, you're not going to believe anything I'd have to say now."

"Bright boy." Krycek smiled approvingly. "Guess you did earn that degree, after all."

Looking away, Mulder bit his lip to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret. He was already a little disturbed that he was even letting anything Krycek had to say get to him.

"Awww... I haven't hurt your feelings, have I?" Krycek asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Wouldn't that imply you thought I actually had some?"

"Yes, of course it does. You're generally a pretty sensitive guy, aren't you, Mulder?"

Mulder looked at him. "Yeah, and I'm generally sensible, too, but when it comes to you..." He stopped before he could say anything else without thinking.

"When it comes to me?"

"Never mind. I'm sure it was part of your plan from the beginning," he muttered, wishing he'd just shut up.

"What are you trying to say, Mulder?" Krycek paused. "Do you have... _tender_ feelings towards me? Have I swayed with my irresistible charm?"

Mulder just looked at him, for a moment unable to say anything in the face of his ridicule. Finally, "I wouldn't call them tender, exactly." He'd meant it to sound more sarcastic than it did.

"What would you call them, then?" Alex trailed a hand up Mulder's leg, stroking almost absently.

His voice caught in his throat, and all he could seem to focus on was Krycek's touch. "Un—" He cleared his throat. "Unexpected."

"In what way?"

Mulder sighed, frustrated that he was close to giving Krycek any kind of advantage. "Is there a point to this?"

"I don't know. You seem to be the one who wants to talk." Krycek sat up to give himself more reach and began ghosting feather-touches along Mulder's balls. "Why do you want to talk Mulder? What do you want to say to me?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Let's try the truth. You're so fond of it, after all."

As Krycek continued touching him, Mulder was ready to say anything if only to get what he so desperately wanted. "I...want you..." 

"That I know." He grinned. "It's a little obvious right now."

He closed his eyes and whispered, "But it's not _just_ now..."

"You know, Mulder, maybe you should just get out more. I mean, I'm the first person you've had sex with in how long?" Krycek cocked an eyebrow and threw him a look of mock-concern. "I'm sure if you fucked someone else, you'd fixate on them instead."

"Yeah, that's what _I_ thought."

"So, do it. Maybe you should finally fuck Scully."

"I did. Not Scully, of course, but...someone."

"Ahh. So we're talking about a failed experiment." Krycek nodded and gave him a lecherous grin, moving his hand back down, absently petting Mulder's thigh. "Tell me all about it."

Mulder shifted, growing more uncomfortable with the lengthy tease. "Wasn't anyone I know...I just..." He looked at Krycek, his eyes pleading. "Take it off..."

"Nope." Alex grinned and removed his hand. He would at least stop torturing the bastard with caresses for now. "So, maybe you should try someone you know? Or try to have a relationship with someone you meet up with."

"I don't want someone else." The words were out before he could stop them.

"Oh, Jesus, Mulder, don't tell me you've decided you want _me._ " Krycek shook his head. "That's insane. It wouldn't have a hope in hell."

"I know. Why do you think I'm beginning to question my sanity?" He smirked, feeling a little more self-assured.

"Well, I've already suggested you seek help." Krycek smiled. "So, any more feelings you need to confess, or can we get on with this?"

"Yeah...."

"What are you saying 'yeah' to, Mulder? Talking or fucking?"

"What do you think I'm agreeing to?" Mulder's need colored his words, and there was an edge of frustration to his voice. "I want to fuck you."

"You know, I've got you tied to a bed, and you're still assuming that you're going to fuck me. Why is that?" Krycek raised an eyebrow at Mulder, shooting him a stern glance. "I have to say it kind of disturbs me, and I'm thinking we should probably talk some more. Let's start with these assumptions you keep making about me."

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Fine. You want to fuck me. Whatever it is, can we just get on with it?" The last thing he wanted to do was talk. There was too much of a chance he'd say something without thinking.

"And now you're being demanding. You're really not following the proper etiquette for a kidnapping victim, you know." Krycek leaned forward and slapped Mulder's face lightly, more of a tease than an actual blow. "I'm the evil kidnapper, and I've decided that I _do_ want to talk." 

Reaching for one of the pillows, he shoved it behind him and settled comfortably against the baseboard. He looked up and smiled at Mulder's sullen stare. "Um...Mulder? You're not talking..."

Unable to stop the blush that colored his face, Mulder coughed quietly, trying to think of something to say and growing more uncomfortable with the way this was going. "How about those Knicks?" 

"Well, don't think they'll win the division title after that upset last weekend, but I can't say I really care." Krycek reached out an patted Mulder's leg. "So, you don't think you want anyone else?"

"Why do you care? You already know I'm pathetic, so why would anything I have to say matter to you?"

"Again—you're the helpless victim, I'm the evil villain. You don't need to question my motives, just do as I say." Krycek shifted, settling further into the pillow. "Now, I'm comfortable and I want to talk. Don't make me get up for the knife."

Mulder narrowed his eyes. He didn't like being at a disadvantage like this, especially if Krycek was the one in control. But still...he would be free to say anything and always blame it on circumstance later. "Fine. You're the only one I want." He paused. "And I'm really hoping you'll tell me how much you love me and that, despite our past, you and I can buy a nice little house together in the country and live out our days in domestic bliss." His voice dripped with sarcasm and he felt better, if only temporarily.

Suppressing a sigh, Krycek gave Mulder a cold look, reminding himself why he was doing this. Still, the sarcasm hurt. But he'd be damned if he let Mulder know that. "Hmmm. Do we get to have a pet? Who does the housework?" Pausing, he grinned. "And who's last name are we going to use?"

The joking caught Mulder by surprise. He'd expected Krycek to get angry and defensive, but that would have meant he did give a damn. Maybe he really didn't. Mulder cursed himself for allowing the idea that maybe Krycek did feel something to seep into his brain. He was convinced that was the most rational explanation for any softening he may have been feeling toward the other man. After all, how long had it been since he thought anyone had felt that way about him? It was only natural to let it get to him...wasn't it? 

He shook his head, trying to clear it of the increasingly disturbing thoughts. "I guess we should get a rat, in your honor. And I'm a liberated man. We can both share the chores and keep our own names."

"Sounds fair enough, though I'd really prefer a dog." He sat up and moved up the bed, blanketing Mulder's body. Smiling as Mulder opened his eyes wide and licked his lips in anticipation, Krycek kissed him slowly, deliberately. He couldn't suppress a moan as Mulder returned the kiss feverishly, arching upward and grinding his cock against him. 

Smiling wickedly, Krycek lifted himself up and resumed his spot at the end of the bed. "So, now that we've gotten our plans for future marital bliss out of the way, why don't you answer my question honestly?"

Mulder groaned angrily, Krycek's kiss a mere taste of what he wanted to happen. "You already know I want you...just you," he said reluctantly. "Isn't that honest enough?"

Krycek froze. Mulder seemed to be a picture of miserable sincerity. In fact, it was his obvious discomfort that made Krycek think that he might be sincere. _Fuck, I am _not_ falling for his bullshit again._ As Alex remained silent, staring at him, Mulder looked increasingly uncomfortable, vulnerable. Shaking himself, Krycek told himself he had to stop this, end the conversation and get back to his plan. Instead, he caught himself sighing. "Yeah, it is. Maybe too much."

That got Mulder's attention and he perked up a little. "Too much? What do you mean, too much?"

"Too much truth? Too much bullshit? Who can tell anymore?" Krycek's hand trailed up Mulder's leg. "Talking doesn't work for us, you know."

Mulder's eyes closed and he concentrated on Krycek's touch. "So, what does work for us?" he finally muttered.

Krycek smiled to himself and knelt to move between Mulder's legs. "This," he whispered and then began licking a careful path up Mulder's thigh.

Mulder shuddered and allowed himself to get lost in the sensation of Krycek's mouth on his skin. This was easier for him to deal with than having to talk, and he could worry about what he said later.

The scent and taste of Mulder inspired an abrupt madness, and Krycek wanted him, needed him right then. His mouth now nuzzling and sucking Mulder's balls, Krycek reached blindly for the lubricant he'd stashed in the bedside table. After struggling to open it, he sat up and squeezed some onto Mulder's cock.

He smiled as Mulder flinched at the cold shock of the lube, and began slowly rubbing it in, warming it up. "I imagine you really want to come," he stated matter-of-factly.

Mulder managed a slight nod, gasping as Krycek continued stroking him. Every nerve in his body was screaming for relief, and he felt like he would explode if Alex didn't let him come. "Please," he said softly, "I'll do whatever you want...just...please." He swallowed slowly. "Or...or just let me loose and...I'll let you do anything, but I need to touch you." 

Krycek chuckled, and gave Mulder's cock one last stroke. Shaking his head with mock regret, he smiled. "Sorry, no can do." Picking up the lube again, he squirted a generous amount onto Mulder's stomach, then coated his fingers with it and reached behind, working two fingers into himself, stretching and preparing himself. Brushing deliberately against his prostate, he moaned and bucked against his fingers. "But I think you're going to like this."

"Okay," Mulder whispered, resigned. He watched, riveted, as Krycek got himself ready, anticipating being buried in the soft heat of his body. Impossibly, he became more aroused at the thought and suddenly wanted nothing more than to take Alex in his arms and hold him, make love to him. "Fuck." He hadn't meant to voice his distress at the intrusive thoughts, but he was concerned about the unfamiliar emotion he was feeling. 

Pulling his fingers from his body, Krycek raised his eyebrows. "Something wrong, Mulder?"

"Yeah, everything," he said under his breath before shaking his head. "Just do it." He felt anger beginning to gnaw at his gut and tried to tell himself it was because Krycek was being such a merciless tease, but he knew the real reason.

"Oooh. Commercial slogans are always a turn-on for me," Krycek laughed. He moved to straddle Mulder's hips and steadying Mulder's cock with his hand, slowly sank down until the full length was inside him.

Mulder bit his lip to stop from crying out as his cock slid inside Alex. It was almost painful, and he didn't know what he would do if Krycek didn't remove the ring. He had to.

"God, you feel so good," Krycek moaned and began moving up and down slowly, relishing the sensation of Mulder inside of him. "You're so hard... so damn hard, aren't you?"

Mulder nodded frantically, unable to say anything as Krycek began moving. He bucked his hips, the pleasure like some divine torture as his body was denied what it was so desperately craving. Still, he pushed forcefully into Krycek, wanting to share as much pain as he was feeling.

Mulder's movements changed the angle of his penetration, and Krycek began moaning almost continuously as Mulder's cock hit him _there,_ over and over. He met the violence of Mulder's thrusts, screwing himself down on the backstrokes with all his strength. Already hard again, he was shocked to realize he was getting close. Grabbing his cock, he gave it a few hard strokes but stopped himself before it became too much. With a regretful groan, he pulled himself off of Mulder and collapsed at his side, breathing hard.

Panting, and still reeling from his own unmet desire, Mulder watched Krycek as he lay next to him. "Alex....come on....take it off."

Krycek shook his head, but fingered the ring for a moment before giving Mulder's cock a few light strokes. Mulder winced, and Krycek felt a strange softening, finding himself tempted to relent. Steeling himself, he sat up, reaching again for the lube, squeezing more onto Mulder's stomach. "No." His fingers coated, he placed them against Mulder's opening teasing it with a few circling caresses before pushing inside. "I'm going to fuck you instead."

"Oh god..." Mulder groaned as Krycek's finger entered him. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take, but he would go through anything to continue receiving Alex's attention. He started grumbling half-hearted threats about what he was going to do as soon as he was let go, then gasped as Krycek slid another finger into him, stretching him and making him ready.

"You're really in no position to make threats, you know," Krycek said conversationally as he kneeled between Mulder's legs, pulling him forward until Mulder's ass rested on his thighs. The movement strained the length of the restraints, and Mulder's arms were pulled taut. Positioning himself, Krycek thrust in, panting as the tight heat of Mulder surrounded him. "God, you're so fucking... tight..."

The handcuffs bit into Mulder's wrists, but he ignored the pain, concentrating on how it felt to have Krycek inside him, filling him. He tried to force himself down, but there was no leverage. Already his arms were starting to feel the strain, but he didn't care. All he wanted was for Alex to fuck him hard.

Recognizing how close he was, Krycek decided to go for broke. He tightened his hold on Mulder's hips, and began slamming in as hard as he could. Krycek worried for a moment that maybe this was too much, that he was hurting Mulder, but Mulder's frantic attempts to participate, to return Krycek's thrusts despite his bonds, reassured him. He threw his head back and forgot about everything, everything except the tight, fever-hot feel of being inside Mulder.

Mulder closed his eyes and lost himself in the rhythm of Krycek's thrusts, the sweet, searing pain of it all. His engorged cock threatened to burst if he wasn't allowed to come soon. Being forced to dangle on the edge of climax was driving him out of his mind, until he no longer had any control over what he did or what he said. All he could do was grunt with each push, tugging on the cuffs despite the fact that he could feel the skin of his wrists becoming raw and bruised from his exertions. 

"Alex..." It was a low, breathless growl. "Oh god...come...want you to come..." 

Closing his eyes, Krycek tried to block out the sight of Mulder stretched beneath him, ignore Mulder's command. He just wanted this insane heat, the almost unbearable pleasure of it to last a little longer, couldn't accept that it was almost over. Mulder's pleas disintegrated into sharp cries and guttural moans, and the sound was too much. Opening his eyes, he stared down at Mulder, flushed, sweating, straining as hard as he could against Krycek. Suddenly dizzy, he fell over the edge, and in a few tight strokes, was pouring himself into Mulder, shaking uncontrollably as Mulder's body sucked him dry. 

It was too much and Mulder let loose a sharp cry, due in part to feeling Krycek coming deep inside of him, and in part to his own savage frustration. He knew this would have to end soon, but he didn't want it to all be over. Once Alex let him go, finally let him come, Mulder had no doubt that he'd be tossed out without so much as a second glance. He didn't want that to happen, not after all of this.

Collapsing against Mulder's body, Krycek immediately felt the hard cock beneath him, begging for attention. He lifted his head up and gave Mulder a long stare. Mulder's face was contorted with frustration, tension and desire etched across his face in sharp lines. For a fleeting moment, Krycek felt a wave of tenderness assault him again. He considered relenting, hardly able to remember why he shouldn't. 

But that wasn't his plan, and if nothing else he excelled in following through with his plans. He'd let himself worry and figure out the emotions later. With a bitter pang of regret, he forced himself to stand, and reached automatically for his pants, beginning to pull on his clothes.

Struggling to sit up as best he could, Mulder stared at him, his eyes wide. "What the fuck are you doing?" He couldn't keep the panic out of his voice. "You're not leaving me like this, are you?"

Ignoring Mulder's words, Krycek moved like an automaton, pulling on the rest of his clothes and gathering his few things, shoving them in a bag. Looking over the room one last time, he turned and faced Mulder, pulling a small key from his pocket.

Leaning over him, he held himself as far away from Mulder as he could, afraid that if there was any contact he'd crack. He avoided Mulder's eyes and unlocked one of his hands. Stepping back quickly to avoid any blows, he placed the key on the table beside the bed, within easy reach. 

Mulder stayed still as Krycek unlocked his wrist, feeling a wave of gratitude, and something not as easily identified, wash over him. He was about to reach out to touch Alex's face, but before he could, Alex had stepped back. Mulder didn't bother to hide his shock as he stared at him. He glanced at the key, then back at Alex. "I don't understand," he said softly. 

"There's the key. You can get yourself free, jerk off, go home, whatever you want." Krycek shrugged. "I don't really care."

He walked quickly to the door, ignoring his regret, his desire to turn around and take Mulder in his arms. But he'd already learned that lesson, knew he couldn't trust Mulder. Couldn't take the risk. His hand on the doorknob, Krycek turned and gave Mulder a quick smile. "And by the way, thanks. You're one hell of a fuck, Mulder."

There was nothing Mulder could say, so he simply lay there and watched as Krycek walked out. He couldn't understand why he wasn't rushing to get himself free so he could take off after him, or even why he wasn't shouting for him to get the fuck back in here. In fact, he was stunned that he didn't feel angry at all. As he slowly reached for the key, he wouldn't let himself acknowledge that he was hurt. There was no way he'd ever let Krycek hurt him, but the ragged ache in his gut was matched only by the painful need of his cock. His hands finally freed, he fumbled with the cock ring and got it off quickly. A few short strokes and he was coming, but there was no joy, no real pleasure in it. He had never felt more detached from himself as he did at that moment, for though his body was reacting physically, it was purely an automatic response. 

After a few moments, he sat up and freed his legs. As he stood unsteadily, he still felt numb inside, but knew he had to make himself focus on getting out of here. He used the tattered remains of his shirt to clean himself up, then panicked when he realized the clothes he'd been wearing were history. How the hell was he supposed to get home now? He quickly searched through the small dresser in the corner, but there was nothing inside. A quick look through the rest of the house didn't turn up anything. Every other room was empty except for a rotary phone on the floor in the living room. Mulder had checked to see if it was working and got a dial tone. He replaced the handset and shook his head, wondering how long Krycek had been planning this. 

He returned to the bedroom and sat down, defeated, on the bed. After deciding he would not walk back home wearing a sheet, he ran through the different ways he could explain this to Scully when she came over with some clothes. He took a deep breath and was about to go call her when something told him to check one more place. Kneeling down, he did everything but cross his fingers before peering under the bed. There was a box. Mulder pulled it out and saw a sweatsuit and a note. He put aside the piece of paper, telling himself he wouldn't read it, and got dressed. But he had to know what it said.

_You didn't think I'd make you strut around the neighborhood naked, did you? Just get dressed and get out._

Mulder swallowed hard and crumpled up the note before tossing it across the room. He had to get out of there or he knew he would start feeling a lot more than he already was. He couldn't let that happen.

* * *

Krycek stood frozen in the garage, wondering why the hell he felt so hollow. The enervated high he normally felt after a well-executed plan of revenge was conspicuously absent. He just felt... something like regret. 

With a mental shrug, he got in the car and slowly backed out of the garage, not letting himself look back at the house as he drove off. 

* * *

April 2000  
Disclaimer: These fellas do not belong to us.  
Rating: NC-17 for M/K smut.  
Series: Hit and Run  
Summary: The chats take another RL turn.  
Notes: Thanks to Mock for the beta! Love ya, hon!  
We'd also like to thank everyone who's been following this series.   
Feedback: Yes, please. [email removed]   
---


	6. Part VI: Dead End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run VI**

Dead End   
by Lucy Snowe and Frankie 

  
**< zp7193>** Agent Mulder?

**< FMldr>** Yes?

**< zp7193>** Just wanted to make sure you got the last file —I was a little worried about the encryption program.

**< FMldr>** Yes, I did. It's fine. Thank you.

**< zp7193>** And I was worried when I didn't hear from you. Is everything okay? I know I'm probably stating the obvious, but you need to be really careful with this information.

**< FMldr>** After reading what you sent, I'm more aware of that than ever. I'm sorry. I should have emailed you to let you know I received the files, but I was called out on a case. I didn't want to send anything if it wasn't from my own computer.

**< zp7193>** That's fine, I just wanted to check.

**< FMldr>** Are you sure it's safe for you to be talking to me?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, I've made sure of that.

**< FMldr>** I hope you have. The other informants I've dealt with haven't had long and fruitful lives. I always met with them in person, though. Is that why you won't meet with me? Because somehow this is safer for you?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, leaking information to you really isn't the safest hobby. And as much as I want to help you, I do enjoy being alive. I think meeting's too risky.

**< FMldr>** Well, I can't really say that there would be a reason for us to meet face to face. You've been more helpful than you can know. I'd hate for my access to be cut off because of a stupid mistake.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, I can only think of one reason for us to meet up, and it isn't worth it.

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry? I'm not sure I understand.

**< zp7193>** Never mind, it's not important.

**< FMldr>** If you have more information for me, anything at all, I will meet with you.

**< zp7193>** No, it's not that. Forget I said anything.

**< FMldr>** Okay. If you need to leave, I understand completely. I'm surprised we've talked this long. Unless there's something else you need to tell me.

**< zp7193>** No, it's safe for us to talk. But I probably should go, I suppose.

**< FMldr>** Okay. Thank you, again.

**< zp7193>** You're welcome. What are you planning to do with the information anyway?

**< FMldr>** I have three choices: I can go public with it and risk worldwide panic; I can somehow try to use it against the men who are behind this; or I can bide my time and hope it will save the lives of the innocent once the shit hits the fan. Trust me, none of those options appeals to me. What do you think I should do?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, going public would be a disaster. They'd just take advantage of the chaos and disappear. And you can't bide your time too long, either. I think your only option is to go after them.

**< FMldr>** That's pretty much what I was thinking, too. Can I do that with what you've given me? What if they have an ace up their sleeve?

**< FMldr>** I don't care so much for myself, but the repercussions could be devastating.

**< zp7193>** No, you do need to care about yourself. You're the only one right now who's in a position to really do anything about this. Tell you what, wait another week, I'll try to get a you a couple more nails for their coffin. You could probably do it with what you have right now, but it wouldn't hurt to have more.

**< FMldr>** Thank you. I don't want a name, but can you at least tell me what agency you work for?

**< zp7193>** I work directly with them. No agency.

**< zp7193>** You still there? I'm sorry if that upsets you but most of your informants did, too. I just kinda figured you'd assume that.

**< FMldr>** Of course. I suppose I thought you'd also be working under the guise of being employed by some other government agency. Not that it matters since all the information I've ever gotten would have to come directly from the Syndicate, anyway. I'm sorry. It's been a long day.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, no I'm definitely in the midst of it. So, is the long day why you're in on a Friday night, or are you always home and so conveniently accessible to your shadowy informants?

**< FMldr>** Excuse me?

**< zp7193>** Nothing, just wondering why you're home on a Friday night. Seems kind of sad.

**< FMldr>** Are you usually this familiar with people you leak information to?

**< zp7193>** Nah, but I also don't normally talk to them when I'm halfway into a bottle of vodka. Have I offended? Breached the etiquette of the informer- informee relationship? If so, you have my sincere apologies.

**< FMldr>** No, I'm not offended, just concerned. A man in your position should be careful about drinking too much. You could let things slip.

**< zp7193>** You are absolutely right. A paragon of wisdom.

**< FMldr>** Who is this?

**< zp7193>** Your informant. Who do you think this is?

**< FMldr>** Fuck you. I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing, but it's not going to work.

**< zp7193>** I don't know what the hell you're talking about. What game am I playing?

**< FMldr>** Why the hell did you want me to think you were dead?

**< zp7193>** What the fuck are you talking about?

**< FMldr>** Just stop it! I know it's you. It's got to be you.

**< zp7193>** I really don't know what you're talking about. I've been emailing you for months —I kinda assumed you realized I was among the living.

**< FMldr>** It's okay. You can tell me.

**< zp7193>** I don't know who you think I am, or why you thought I was dead. I didn't think there was dial-up access in the afterlife —unless you investigated an X-File about that and know otherwise.

**< FMldr>** I... I'm sorry. It's just that you said something that made me think... Never mind.

**< FMldr>** You just got me thinking about someone I used to know.

**< zp7193>** Who would that be?

**< FMldr>** Someone you may have worked with. He was killed about four months before you first contacted me.

**< zp7193>** How did he die?

**< FMldr>** A car accident, or so I was told.

**< zp7193>** Was he another informant of yours? Are you sure it was an accident?

**< FMldr>** He was an informant to a certain extent, I suppose. And I know it wasn't an accident. In fact, I'd bet my life they killed him.

**< zp7193>** Who was he? I don't remember anyone dying in a car accident.

**< FMldr>** It doesn't matter now. If he was still alive I would have found him.

**< zp7193>** No, really. I'm curious. And as your current informant, I have quite a bit at stake. I wasn't aware there was anyone after Covarrubias.

**< FMldr>** Well, the information he gave me came from someone higher up. Nothing like what you've given me.

**< zp7193>** Someone higher up? Suddenly I feel so inadequate. And I can't believe I wasn't aware of another informant.

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. I only meant that he didn't work in the same way Marita did.

**< zp7193>** God, who the hell could it have been? Did you know his name? Was it Birkin?

**< FMldr>** No, it was Krycek.

**< zp7193>** I didn't know he was dead.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, he is. Some friends of mine found out and informed me that he'd been killed.

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry if this surprises you.

**< zp7193>** Well, he's always been good at covering his tracks. People don't generally assume he's dead just because he's disappeared.

**< FMldr>** I didn't think it was true, either, but they haven't been able to trace his whereabouts since it happened.

**< zp7193>** Damn. You really think he's dead.

**< FMldr>** So, I take it you knew him.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, you could say I did... I just can't believe this.

**< FMldr>** I couldn't believe it either. I still can't. Were the two of you close?

**< zp7193>** Well, I knew him pretty well.

**< FMldr>** And you really had no idea he was dead?

**< zp7193>** No, I can't say I did.

**< FMldr>** I suppose that in your line of work, you lose a lot of friends, though.

**< zp7193>** It happens. Too often. Especially since there aren't many you can really consider friends.

**< FMldr>** So, what's one more, right?

**< zp7193>** Um, no. That's not what I meant at all.

**< FMldr>** Sorry, I didn't mean to sound callous. I just thought it would be impossible for you to form any real ties. Someone dies, you move on. It's harder in the real world.

**< zp7193>** What, and the world I'm in isn't real? I hate to wreck your illusion, but if you lose someone you... It's probably harder, I think.

**< FMldr>** Lose someone you what?

**< zp7193>** Someone you give a damn about. But don't worry about it — obviously you think I'm capable of shrugging anything off and going on my merry way.

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry. I meant no offense.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, well, you don't know me. You don't know what I've lost, what I've had to sacrifice.

**< FMldr>** May I ask you a personal question?

**< zp7193>** What?

**< FMldr>** Were you and he... I'm sorry, it's none of my business.

**< zp7193>** Were we what?

**< FMldr>** If you don't want to answer, you don't have to, but the way you've spoken about him... Were you and he involved?

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry. It's none of my business.

**< zp7193>** Were we involved? Um, I don't know quite how to answer that.

**< zp7193>** Would it bother you if we had been?

**< FMldr>** Well, it would explain some of the things you said.

**< zp7193>** You could say I knew him intimately.

**< zp7193>** I didn't realize you two had much of a history. I mean, I know he was partnered with you briefly but that was years ago. Were you friends?

**< FMldr>** What did he tell you about me?

**< zp7193>** Almost nothing. And now I'm intrigued.

**< FMldr>** Don't you imagine that if we were friends, he would have told you?

**< zp7193>** Not necessarily. He was very private. In fact, if you had been, I'm sure he never would have talked about it.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you're probably right.

**< zp7193>** So?

**< FMldr>** If he didn't want you to know, do you think I'd tell you?

**< zp7193>** I'm surprised you'd care about what he wanted. You must have been friends. Or was it something more?

**< FMldr>** No, we weren't friends. Never friends.

**< zp7193>** So why are you still protecting him? Refusing to tell me something just because he might not have wanted me to know it?

**< FMldr>** I'm not protecting him. There's just no reason for you to know.

**< zp7193>** I'm confused as to why, though.

**< FMldr>** Look, I know I owe you a lot, but why do you care how I feel about him?

**< zp7193>** I guess I just don't see why it matters. And I'm curious. I'm surprised. I'm drunk. Humor me.

**< FMldr>** Well, forgive me, but I'm not quite drunk enough to tell you how I feel about your lover.

**< zp7193>** Well, drink some more then. I'm risking my life for you —or your quest, anyway. You could give me this much. And he wasn't exactly my lover.

**< FMldr>** But I thought you said you were intimately involved.

**< zp7193>** No, I said I know him intimately —not that we were intimately involved.

**< FMldr>** What's the difference?

**< zp7193>** Well, I think you can know someone really well, be close to them without being their lover.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, I guess you're right. And you can be lovers with someone and not know them at all.

**< zp7193>** Yeah. That probably happens more often, actually. Why all of these questions about how well I knew him?

**< FMldr>** Just curious.

**< zp7193>** Is that all there is to it?

**< FMldr>** Look, I feel really uncomfortable talking to a stranger about my personal life.

**< zp7193>** So, you considered Krycek part of your personal life? Have another drink.

**< FMldr>** I'm way ahead of you.

**< zp7193>** Good to hear. So, what was he to you anyway?

**< FMldr>** I would tell you, but how do I know you won't somehow use this against me?

**< zp7193>** I think I've proven myself trustworthy.

**< FMldr>** Giving me government secrets is one thing...

**< FMldr>** It just seems too convenient to me that you happened to have known him.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, and it's a pretty big fucking thing. And of course I knew him. It wasn't happenstance at all. The actual ranks of "them" are pretty damn small. Which explains why your informants get killed so often —it's a pretty intimate circle, they don't have far to look when information starts leaking. In fact, look at it this way. I'll probably be dead soon enough for what I'm doing, and then you won't have to worry about whatever it is you tell me.

**< FMldr>** God, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I understand the risks you're taking and you have no idea how much it means. I really don't know why I'm being so fucking evasive.

**< zp7193>** No problem. So, tell me.

**< FMldr>** Can you believe I don't even remember what you want to know?

**< zp7193>** You have been drinking as per my instructions. Good for you. And the question is, what was Krycek to you?

**< FMldr>** I don't know.

**< zp7193>** Why not?

**< FMldr>** I used to know. At worst, he was my enemy. At best, an annoyance. But I don't think I was ever anything to him.

**< zp7193>** It sounds like there's a story there.

**< FMldr>** It's too much to get into, but it boils down to him being far more important to me than he should be.

**< zp7193>** Hmmmm... Okay, I hope this isn't too personal of a question —but you two must have been lovers, right?

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you could say that.

**< zp7193>** For how long?

**< FMldr>** Not long.

**< zp7193>** Am I upsetting you? Do you not want to talk about it?

**< FMldr>** Gee, I've been so cooperative up to this point, what would make you ask that?

**< zp7193>** Okay, so that's a good point. I don't mean to upset you, but if you were lovers with Krycek, I can't imagine it was something you could really confide in anyone about. It might help if you talked about it.

**< FMldr>** That's true, I guess. It actually would be good to talk to someone who doesn't really know me and won't judge me.

**< zp7193>** Well, considering some of the things I've had to do, I'm definitely not judgmental.

**< FMldr>** And you're not likely to shoot me in the ass for being such an idiot.

**< zp7193>** Nah, I'm with you in general idiocy.

**< FMldr>** We should start a club.

**< zp7193>** LOL! The lonely-heart conspiracy theorists?

**< FMldr>** It does have a nice ring to it.

**< zp7193>** It does. So, consider this story your initiation ceremony.

**< FMldr>** Okay, fine. As a fellow idiot, I guess you can be privy to my stupidity. Where do you want me to start?

**< zp7193>** The beginning generally works pretty well.

**< FMldr>** I was born on October 13, 1961...

**< zp7193>** LOL I guess I should get comfortable.

**< FMldr>** The problem I'm having is that I don't know when this began.

**< zp7193>** Well, I do know about your partnership with him, there are files. You two weren't involved then, though. When did that start?

**< FMldr>** About three months before he died.

**< zp7193>** What happened?

**< FMldr>** Would you believe a chat of all things? Out of the blue he started talking to me. Pissed me off, of course.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, well the two of you had quite a past.

**< FMldr>** Right. Can't change that, I guess.

**< zp7193>** No, even with alien technology, we still don't have a time machine...

**< FMldr>** Yeah, too bad.

**< zp7193>** LOL! Well, maybe someday. So how'd you go from chatting to being lovers?

**< FMldr>** We ended up getting together after a few...stimulating conversations. It was just sex.

**< zp7193>** Well, you said something earlier about him being more important to you than he should be. Was it just sex for you?

**< FMldr>** Started out that way.

**< zp7193>** What changed it?

**< FMldr>** Honestly, I don't know. I treated him so badly. He didn't care, and I didn't think I did, but...god, I'm rambling. You know him. He just gets under your fucking skin. God, you'd think he was still alive.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, it's hard to believe he's dead. What did you do to him? And what made you start to care? And, really, don't worry about the rambling. I've been guilty of it myself.

**< FMldr>** I was a shit to him. I knew it would scare him, but I just wanted to make him suffer a little. It worked. But he got me back. I don't know when I started to care...and that's not even what it is. I don't know. He was out of touch for a while and it made me realize that I felt something I shouldn't. I'm not making any sense. I just wish he was here.

**< zp7193>** You cared for him.

**< FMldr>** I did. Maybe I still do.

**< zp7193>** Maybe? It doesn't sound to me like there's much doubt there.

**< FMldr>** You know what he did. Can you explain to me why I would have wanted to be with him after all the shit that happened?

**< zp7193>** No, I can't. You're on your own for that one.

**< FMldr>** I think I cared before he fucked me over...the first time, I mean. When we were still partners.

**< zp7193>** Did you want to be with him then? Or did you only figure that out recently?

**< FMldr>** No, I knew then. After that, it was so much easier to hate him than admit he hurt me.

**< zp7193>** That makes sense. But you still wanted him? After everything? I guess I have a hard time understanding that.

**< FMldr>** Imagine how I feel. I thought it was just the sex, but I've been with other people and, even now, I still can't get him out of my head. The last time we were together, I could have sworn there was something there... God, this has got to be boring for you. There have to be other pathetic losers you could be listening to 

**< zp7193>** No, it's not boring at all. I really don't mind. And I hope this isn't... well, insensitive or too personal —but do you think you really would want to be with him? I mean, you know he's dead, that you can't have him. I have to wonder if it was easier to think you feel this way about him, want to be with him, knowing that it's impossible. If he was actually standing in front of you, would you feel the same way?

**< zp7193>** Sorry, if you're rambling, I'm playing the amateur psychologist.

**< FMldr>** Stick to the secrets, okay? It doesn't matter how the hell I feel. He's dead. Even if he wasn't, I know he'd want nothing to do with me. He got what he wanted and left it at that.

**< zp7193>** Well, you said something earlier about really hurting him, acting like a shit, I think... maybe he was just protecting himself.

**< FMldr>** Maybe I was too.

**< zp7193>** That would make sense.

**< FMldr>** But, like I said, it doesn't matter now. He never really wanted me.

**< zp7193>** You could be wrong about that.

**< FMldr>** Trust me. He made himself pretty clear.

**< zp7193>** How so?

**< FMldr>** I think the last thing he said to me was something about what a good fuck I was. Then he walked out. Not a lot of sentiment there.

**< zp7193>** Well, I have to go back to your earlier statement about being cruel to him. You still haven't told me what that was, but one thing I can tell you about him is that he always had a lot of pride, and a strong sense of self-preservation.

**< FMldr>** It doesn't matter what I did. I told him I was sorry for that. I really was. I still am.

**< zp7193>** But why would he have believed you? I mean, considering your past and all.

**< FMldr>** I guess I didn't really expect him to believe me, I just wish he had. Who am I kidding? That wouldn't have changed anything! He had it set in his head to fuck with me and he accomplished his mission. I don't know why I'm pretending that anything would have been different.

**< zp7193>** Well, he was pretty good at mindfucks. But he also wasn't one to take unnecessary risks. I don't think he would have been with you if it was just a game. Too much risk for him, and like I said, self-preservation was a big thing for him. But I could be wrong —just my opinion.

**< FMldr>** No offense, but I think you're wrong.

**< zp7193>** ::shrug:: Like I said, I could be. But something tells me I'm not, for whatever that's worth.

**< FMldr>** It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have started talking about this.

**< zp7193>** No, it's fine. You probably should talk about it. I can't imagine it's been easy having to keep this all inside. I mean, it sounds like you're mourning him. That's not the sort of thing people normally have to hide.

**< FMldr>** God...I've never really let myself face it, you know? I'm sitting here crying like a fucking baby...mourning some asshole who didn't give a shit about me... Fuck.

**< zp7193>** God, I'm so sorry. I don't... Look, I think he had to have cared for you. I'm certain of it.

**< FMldr>** What would you know about it?

**< zp7193>** Well, like I said, I did know him pretty intimately —when you're in the trenches with someone, so to speak, you get to know them pretty well. Learn things about each other.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you keep mentioning how intimately you knew him... Sure you're not trying to tell me something?

**< zp7193>** He wasn't my lover.

**< FMldr>** Oh... well, hell, you won't care if I'm drunk enough to say I think I love him.

**< zp7193>** Nah, don't worry about it. I'm drunk enough that I might not remember any of it tomorrow. You really think you do, though? Present tense and all?

**< FMldr>** Love, loved... Right now? I love him.

**< FMldr>** But you've got to understand it's *my* version of what that means.

**< zp7193>** And what is your version? Do you define it differently?

**< FMldr>** I've never been the kind of man to fall into that stereotypical picture of what love is. I can't give someone the security of being there for them, or caring about them. I'm too selfish. That's why I can't keep a relationship. But I need him. I want him with me.

**< zp7193>** You think you loved him, you wanted him and needed him, but you don't think you could care about him? I don't mean to be critical, but that doesn't seem to make any sense. I think you might be selling yourself short.

**< FMldr>** I'm being realistic. Oh god, I can't even say that with a straight face... if I was being realistic, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

**< zp7193>** You do have a point there. But I have to say that you've always struck me as a man who cares deeply about things. Your quest is one good example, and your relationship with Scully is an even better one. Maybe you're just scared to admit you could care for someone on that level? Oh, god, there I go again with trite, pop-psychology.

**< FMldr>** That's okay, you're doing great. My job, my partner...I care about them but I don't love them. Well, I love Scully, but that's different. That's a mutual respect, I've-got-her-back-she's-got-mine kind of thing.

**< zp7193>** So you don't think you're really capable of love? It's just want and need. How do you define love then? I think I'm still stuck on this lack of caring. It seems that you did, even do, care about him. In fact, just about everything you've said tonight about him demonstrates caring of some sort. Or maybe I'm missing something.

**< FMldr>** What are you, his representative here on Earth?

**< zp7193>** Nah, just a curious, and somewhat confused, bystander. Besides, as you tell it, if I were representing him, I'd be arguing that you don't care.

**< FMldr>** Right... okay, you got me.

**< zp7193>** So, are you going to answer the question? Or should I just let this deflection slide?

**< FMldr>** If you let it slide, what else are you going to ask?

**< zp7193>** I have no idea, but I feel like I should change the subject. I can't tell you how sorry I am about this.

**< FMldr>** Don't be sorry. I really haven't had the chance to talk to anyone about him. And it helps that you knew him. I mean, you knew a different side of him.

**< zp7193>** I'm glad I'm helping.

**< FMldr>** Do you mind if I ask you about him? I know you don't know me and you probably have better things to do, but... I never had the chance to really know him.

**< zp7193>** I don't know —I mean, sure —but what is it you want to know?

**< FMldr>** I don't know. Everything? How did he get involved with your employers?

**< zp7193>** Well, everything could take awhile. His family was involved, his parents. I don't think he had much of a choice.

**< FMldr>** Did he really kill my father? Or do you know?

**< zp7193>** I don't know. But even if he did... Well, don't take this the wrong way, but your father was... Well, let's just say he wasn't a very good man.

**< FMldr>** Okay.

**< FMldr>** And he *never* mentioned me?

**< zp7193>** No, but you've got to understand—he wouldn't have been able to. If he felt that way about you —enough that he was willing to risk being your lover— it would have been too dangerous for him, for both of you, to let anyone know about it.

**< FMldr>** What about when we were partners? Was it all an act?

**< zp7193>** I'm sorry —I really can't answer these questions for you. I do know that when he was assigned to you, he was also under orders to seduce you. He reported that he tried and failed. I'm assuming that was a lie?

**< FMldr>** He said that?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, they weren't exactly happy with him. It's when things started going downhill between him and Spender. The bastard thought Krycek had failed with you, hadn't been willing to go as far as he should have. Let's just say that Krycek challenged a lot of his orders.

**< FMldr>** I had no idea... Why would he take that kind of risk?

**< zp7193>** Well, that probably brings us back to our earlier discussion.

**< FMldr>** Does it have to?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, you're right, we probably shouldn't talk about it. My synapses are firing a little sluggishly right now anyway.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, mine too.

**< zp7193>** But you've still got me confused on that not-caring thing. God, I'm drunk.

**< FMldr>** All right. Ask me again.

**< zp7193>** Oh god, do I have to? Can't you just scroll up?

**< FMldr>** Well, you asked me how I define love, but you also seem to be hung up on that caring thing.

**< zp7193>** Exactly! I'm glad one of us is clear on this conversation...

**< FMldr>** Heh, don't expect that to last too much longer.

**< zp7193>** Well, I have to tell you that the chances of me remembering this conversation tomorrow are becoming increasingly slim.

**< FMldr>** You know, I have to admit that it's good to get this off my chest. And if you don't remember any of it, that's even better.

**< zp7193>** There you go. It's a win-win situation. Just think of me as an amnesiac therapist.

**< FMldr>** I like that!

**< zp7193>** And, as your therapist, I must point out that you're continuing to deflect.

**< FMldr>** Fuck. You're good.

**< zp7193>** ::preening:: Thank you.

**< FMldr>** Oh god! You just preened!

**< zp7193>** Why, yes I did. Oh well. There's still that not remembering thing. But enough about me...

**< FMldr>** You're relentless. No wonder you and Alex were friends.

**< zp7193>** Thanks, I think.

**< FMldr>** It's a compliment. He was relentless, too. I loved that. I can respect that.

**< zp7193>** Oh god, don't make me preen again.

**< FMldr>** Okay, I won't.

**< zp7193>** Who told you he was dead?

**< FMldr>** I told you, my friends told me. If they hadn't gotten hold of the autopsy report and shown it to me, I still wouldn't believe it. They thought my shock was relief, but...

**< zp7193>** They didn't know the truth. I understand. But if it wasn't relief... I'm back at the not caring, love thing you've got going.

**< FMldr>** Maybe I shouldn't have used the word care... I care about him. Maybe I should have said I can't open myself up. Don't you have to care about someone to do that, though?

**< zp7193>** I think it's entirely possible to care for someone, yet not be able to open up. I'm the same way.

**< FMldr>** Then that's what I meant.

**< FMldr>** Does that answer your question?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, I guess it does. Okay, so that's solved. What corner of your psyche shall we explore next?

**< FMldr>** You sure you want to go there?

**< zp7193>** Sure. I'm feeling reckless.

**< FMldr>** Though, at this point I must admit that I'll pretty much say anything.

**< zp7193>** And I'm willing to hear just about anything. We're a great pair.

**< FMldr>** I'm still amazed that we're talking like this.

**< zp7193>** LOL Me, too. I'm not quite sure how we got from discussing bringing them down to this.

**< FMldr>** I'm not either, but it's nice.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, it is. I don't get to talk like this very often.

**< FMldr>** Neither do I.

**< zp7193>** And that's a damn shame for both of us.

**< FMldr>** Yeah, it is. I guess Alex wasn't exactly the heart-to-heart type. Maybe the anonymity helps.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, I think it helps a lot. And the vodka, of course.

**< FMldr>** Amen to that. Well, it's not vodka for me, but same principle.

**< zp7193>** What are you drinking?

**< FMldr>** Scotch

**< zp7193>** Good choice.

**< FMldr>** What are you wearing?

**< FMldr>** I'm sorry, I'm just kidding.

**< zp7193>** No, that's fine, you made me laugh. I suppose I should describe a skimpy, leather g-string, but I'm afraid the reality isn't that exciting.

**< zp7193>** How about you? ::lascivious waggling of eyebrows::

**< FMldr>** Hmm... I could tell you about the diaphanous teddy, but I'm afraid it would make you question my manhood.

**< zp7193>** LOL! Yes, well, it's probably best that you don't then.

**< FMldr>** And you can forget about the stilettos!

**< zp7193>** ::groan:: If there's a merciful god, I will.

**< FMldr>** LOL

**< zp7193>** So, you still think that way about him often?

**< FMldr>** Which way?

**< zp7193>** Erotically...

**< zp7193>** Sexually...

**< FMldr>** As sad or sick as it may be, yeah, I do. Would you believe I'm thinking about that now?

**< zp7193>** Yeah, I can. And, I suppose you'd think I was a really sick voyeur if I asked what you were thinking about.

**< FMldr>** The look on his face when he comes, the way he feels when I hold him, his mouth, his ass, his cock, his... everything. I just think about every goddamn thing.

**< FMldr>** He gave me this videotape of... stuff... and I've just about worn it out.

**< zp7193>** I know I should be horrified by the vicarious thrill I just got.

**< FMldr>** Oh... I don't know...

**< zp7193>** Well, I do know, and I should, but I'm too drunk... too *something* to care. I can hate myself in the morning.

**< zp7193>** So, what was the "stuff"?

**< FMldr>** Him... me... him watching me

**< zp7193>** Vicarious thrills running amuck over here.

**< FMldr>** Sorry.

**< zp7193>** Well, I'm not really complaining. And for whatever reason, I don't want you to stop. I want to hear more.

**< FMldr>** What else do you want to know?

**< zp7193>** Anything. Everything.

**< FMldr>** I think you wanted him, too.

**< zp7193>** I plead the fifth. And by the way, after this conversation, I think it's imperative that we never actually meet up. I'd probably just keep picturing you in that diaphanous teddy.

**< FMldr>** Hah! Okay, just to ease your mind how about a T-shirt and running shorts?

**< zp7193>** Hmmm. Too late. My mind's firmly in the gutter now, I'm afraid.

**< zp7193>** Unless of course, that shirt and shorts were plastered to a hot, sweaty body. That could work.

**< FMldr>** Well, I had just come back from a run when I logged on and you found me.

**< zp7193>** Okay, you're just teasing me now.

**< FMldr>** Hey, I'm just telling you how it is. I didn't expect to still be talking to you and had planned to go take a shower.

**< zp7193>** Oh, now there's another mental image...

**< FMldr>** You're too easy 

**< zp7193>** So I've been told. And, for the record, I wasn't complaining... Tease away.

**< FMldr>** I just lost the shirt. It's too hot in here.

**< zp7193>** Oh god. Are we really going to do this?

**< FMldr>** I don't know. I don't think we should.

**< zp7193>** Probably not. I'm feeling like the other woman. In a sort of sick, unrealistic way.

**< FMldr>** Well, you're really only competing with the memory of a dead man. But if we're going to do this, I should at least know what you like.

**< zp7193>** Hmmm. Well, I could tell you the truth, but would you rather I described myself as a dark- haired and green-eyed?

**< FMldr>** Yeah... would you?

**< zp7193>** That's me, then. I'm tall, slim. I've got a ridiculously small nose, and pixie ears, but I somehow manage to be attractive. You do realize how sick this is, though?

**< FMldr>** Nice... and what's your name?

**< zp7193>** Alex.

**< FMldr>** What are you wearing, Alex?

**< zp7193>** A smile.

**< FMldr>** Hmm, I bet it looks really good on you.

**< zp7193>** I've been told it does. So, you've just got on the running shorts, right?

**< FMldr>** Not anymore

**< zp7193>** Oh. So, what are you doing?

**< FMldr>** Stroking myself, wishing it was your hand on me...

**< zp7193>** Me, too. I'm so hard, leaking all over my hand.

**< FMldr>** Oh god... Alex, I miss you so much. What do you want me to do? I'll do anything.

**< zp7193>** I want you to fuck me.

**< FMldr>** I want that too... so much. We're on my bed, I'm stretched out on top of you, kissing you as if my life depended on it. You don't know how much I've missed you. I need to touch you all over, to know that you're real.

**< zp7193>** God, it feels like you're everywhere. You taste so good, I've missed this, too. More than I can say.

**< FMldr>** I pull back a little to look at you, stroking your face. I can't believe you're really here. Then I lower my head and start kissing your neck, sucking on your throat and licking away the traces of sweat there. The taste and smell of you is driving me crazy and I need to make love to you. I slide down your body, nipping and kissing your chest and stomach as I make my way to your cock. It's so hard and wet. I have to take it into my mouth.

**< zp7193>** The feel of your mouth... It's almost too much, it's been too damn long. I buck wildly, arching up into you. You swallow me whole, and I can't suppress a sob, it *is* too much, and at the same time, not anywhere close to what I need. I'm so desperate to have you inside of me.

**< FMldr>** I know what you really want, and I reluctantly let you go. I spread your legs, too impatient to get any lube, instead licking my fingers and sliding one inside you.

**< zp7193>** I relax around your finger immediately. I'm so fucking hungry for this, I've wanted it so long, you're not even going to need lube. I move in sharp, jerky motions, insistently fucking myself on the one finger, trying to encourage you with my groans to give me more. I'd beg if I could manage to speak.

**< FMldr>** God, I want you so much, I move to position myself between your legs, pausing only to lick the smear of precum from your skin where your cock is straining against your stomach. I've missed the way you taste and if I wasn't so desperate to fuck you, I'd just suck you off, but there's time for that later. I lift your legs, spreading them wide so I can finally have what I want. The head of my cock presses against you and I push in slowly, losing myself in the tight heat of your body.

**< zp7193>** I'm almost embarrassed at my deep moan when you finally sink into me — it's too relieved, too needy. But that's forgotten as you begin moving, setting a hard pace immediately. Knowing you can't control yourself anymore than I can comforts and enflames me at the same time. I meet your thrusts, bucking up hard against you, wanting you deeper, wanting you completely inside me.

**< FMldr>** I thrust into you, already so close to coming, I know it won't take much to send me over the edge. I take your cock in my hand, stroking and pulling erratically, trying to find a rhythm, but it's too much. The sound of your voice, moaning, telling me how much you want me, your face so full of need for me... it's all too much. I start moving my hips faster...god, I want to fuck you through the goddamn mattress. I want to be the only one who can make you feel this way.

**< zp7193>** God, you've never fucked me so hard. No one has, it's like you're claiming me, marking me, and I should be scared. I should be fucking terrified. But instead, I'm just so damn relieved. I force my eyes open, not able to remember when I closed them, and the sight of you, your face tight and drawn, fighting the loss of control. I want to break you, make you lose yourself in me. I press up harder into you, screwing myself mercilessly, daring you to return it even harder. I begin clenching my ass as a hard as I can, reveling in the look of surprise and almost-pain on your face.

**< FMldr>** I can't stop from crying out as you tighten around me, the welcome pain and pleasure of it forcing me deeper inside you. Your face is so fucking beautiful, but the look in your eyes is a challenge. I barely have time to crush my mouth to yours before I'm coming, hard and fast, spilling everything into you. I'm gone, and as I hungrily suck on your tongue and lips, I'm yours. That's all I want.

**< zp7193>** Fuck... Oh fuck, Mulder. I'm coming so hard... god, it feels...

**< FMldr>** Shit... Alex... oh god... I need you

**< zp7193>** Oh god, me too. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Oh god.

**< FMldr>** It's okay... don't be sorry.

**< zp7193>** I wish I could be... I'm just so sorry.

**< FMldr>** Me too. It's okay. I'm sorry for asking you to... I shouldn't have done that.

**< zp7193>** No, I think we both wanted it. Whatever our reasons were..

**< FMldr>** Yeah, you're right. But still...

**< zp7193>** Mulder, please. Don't worry about it. I can't... Just don't, okay?

**< FMldr>** Okay.

**< zp7193>** God, you're upset. I should let you go. This was a mistake.

**< zp7193>** Are you going to be okay?

**< FMldr>** Yeah, maybe I should go. I'll be fine.

**< zp7193>** Okay, well, I'll have that information for you soon. By the end of the week.

**< FMldr>** Great. Thanks.

**< zp7193>** Take care of yourself... I'll be in touch.

**< FMldr>** Okay. Thank you.

**< zp7193>** Wait, Mulder. I...

**< FMldr>** Yeah?

**< zp7193>** Listen, I've actually got most of the information now. I'll bring it over —I can be there in an hour.

**< FMldr>** I thought you didn't want to meet in person.

**< zp7193>** It's probably not a great idea, but you should probably know this. And I don't think you should be alone with this.

**< FMldr>** Oh... okay. But you don't have to stay or anything. I don't think I'm up for company to tell you the truth.

**< zp7193>** Yeah, well, I'm on my way, okay?

**< FMldr>** Okay.

* * *

Mulder logged off and leaned forward, his hands clenched to his stomach. It was so late and he was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He tried to stave off the tears that were burning his eyes, but he couldn't, giving in to them for the second time that night. He cursed himself as tears flowed down his face, dropping silently and unnoticed onto his keyboard. He'd managed to keep his feelings in check before tonight. For almost a year he'd been able to push down any emotions that threatened to surface, arguing with himself about the futility of mourning someone who had felt nothing for him. But tonight... He'd been so sure it was him, had wished it to be true, but it was impossible. Alex was dead. The bastard had died and left behind so many unanswered questions, the main one being how the hell had he been able to make Mulder care about him?

As he sat at his desk, his stomach wrenching in pain as he sobbed, his throat tight and burning from the force of his unspoken grief, Mulder knew he'd never know what happened.

* * *

Freshly showered and dressed in a pair of sweats, Mulder sat wearily on the couch, waiting for his informant to show. He was torn between embarrassment and regret for what they'd done, but figured it didn't really matter now anyway. If he was going to receive more information about the Syndicate's activities, he could stand to meet with him. Who knew? Perhaps it would be okay to have someone with him tonight, assuming he'd even stay.

Mulder groaned, suddenly overcome by another wave of despair. If there was some way he could explain why or how this had happened, that would be at least some small comfort. Instead, he found himself unable to stop thinking about Alex, unable to banish the sadness that talking about him had unearthed. He knew it would be a matter of time before he stopped wanting Alex, and no amount of self-analysis would change that. He shouldn't even try. Turning on the television, he sat back and waited.

* * *

Standing in front of the door, he stared blankly at the numbers in front of him. Lifting his hand to knock, he immediately dropped it to his side.

Fuck. He'd promised himself he wouldn't do this. He was risking too much, it was too dangerous. With a resigned shrug, he lifted his hand again. He'd made his decision, and however much he might come to regret it, it was too late to go back now. Wincing, he knocked softly on the door.

* * *

The knock on the door startled Mulder and he sat up quickly. He got up slowly and made his way to the door, deciding to take whatever his visitor had to give and then send him on his way. He needed to be alone. Drawing in a slow, tired breath, he opened the door.

* * *

April 2000  
Disclaimer: Not ours. Theirs.  
Rating: NC-17 for m/m smut.  
Series: Hit and Run  
Summary: It's been a year since Mulder and Krycek's last meeting, and Mulder has found a sympathetic ear.  
Notes: Thanks to Mock for the beta and the support. You rock, kiddo. This is the last part of this series, and we'd like to thank everyone who's hung in there with us.   
Feedback: All comments, complaints, and rants may be sent to: [email removed]   
---


	7. Epilogue by Jami Wilsen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.

  
**Hit and Run 7: Epilogue  
by Jami Wilsen**

  
_Remember that long, angsty and beautiful series called 'Hit and Run', by Frankie and Lucy Snowe? If not, I suggest you read it at once! Absolutely wonderful. Hot, delicious and very angsty. Anyway, I loved it so much that I was finally driven to write an epilogue for it. So, without further ado:_

Krycek stood in the doorway with a guarded expression, his eyes wide, looking weary and strained. 

Mulder sucked in a breath. "You sorry son of a _bitch_ ," he breathed. "It was you, after all..." he trailed off. 

Krycek regarded him, wondering if this was worth it. Mulder was looking at him as if he were a ghost. 

Mulder frowned and said accusingly, "Get in here." 

Krycek sighed. This was a mistake. "Look, Mulder, I didn't have to come here tonight. I—" He was cut short by Mulder reaching forward and grabbing him by the front of his jacket. 

"I said, get in here," Mulder repeated, pulling him inside and shoving the door shut behind them. 

He allowed Mulder to pull him in but he'd be damned if he was going to let this get physical. Well, in a hopeless repetition of the usual pattern before they had begun having sex, anyway. 

Krycek put up his hand, twisting out of Mulder's grip and forcing Mulder's arm up, to let go of the front of his jacket. Swallowing, he said, "You made it pretty clear to me what you thought. What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to know you were fucking pining away over me?" 

"You bastard. You let me believe you were _dead_ , Alex! Do you have any idea what that did to me? Do you? Did you even _care_? Wait," he slapped his forehead lightly, "Of course you do—that's why you did it, right? Another way to fuck me over." 

Tightly, expecting violence, Krycek bit out, "I thought you'd be happier with it, especially the way we left things. Come on, Mulder—all it was to you was a mutual head-game and a cheap fuck. It was a joke to you, least that's what you wanted me to think! How was I supposed to know it meant anything to you? You never gave me any indication otherwise." He met Mulder's angry, wounded gaze with a hollow glare. "Until tonight, anyway." 

Mulder stared at him. 

"And for the record, _Fox_ , I did not deliberately lead you to believe I was dead. Christ, I disappear for a while and you immediately imagine that I'm dead and gone—I swear I had no idea you were sitting in here at night, crying over the memory of our sordid affair." 

"Well, what was with that final toss-off you gave me, huh? Some farewell— you actually let me believe that it meant nothing more to you than that. I felt used." He snapped his fingers. "Wait, maybe it's because I was." Mulder swallowed, hating the defensive tone in his words despite his attempt to sound sarcastic. 

Krycek retorted, "Hey, I gave as good as I got from you, remember? Hurt, did it? Ashamed, were you? How the fuck do you think it felt when you did it to me?" He stopped, breathing hard, aware of what he'd just unwittingly given away. He hadn't meant to let it go this far. He looked down and closed his eyes. This was not what he'd planned. But then, he knew it wasn't far from what he should have expected. 

Mulder stepped close again, this time seizing Krycek's shoulders and shoving him against the door. "You bastard," he said, the emotions choking his voice, "don't you ever, _ever_ do that me again. You hear me? I thought you were dead, Alex! And then to let me go on for hours, in that fucking chat. It was humiliating." 

"Mulder, come on. I had no way of believing that you would've been anything but relieved and delighted to hear it," Krycek returned, bitterly. "I didn't think you cared—" 

Mulder surprised him by silencing him with a wild kiss, possessing Krycek's mouth, fiercely invading it with his tongue. Krycek moaned against him, pushing back against him and then moaning once more as he felt Mulder's hardness beneath his sweats, rubbing against him. 

As they broke off for air, gasping, Krycek managed, "I wanted to tell you, I wanted to so badly. Fuck, Mulder, I would've given anything to know that you wanted it, that you wanted me! But you never said anything, you let me think you felt nothing, that it was nothing to you! What did you expect? What was I supposed to do?" 

Mulder stared back at him as he finished his breathless explanation, and then sighed. And leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "Goddamned mother-fucking son of a bitch," he whispered slowly, making it sound like an endearment. "What the hell am I going to do with you?" 

Krycek was shaking; Mulder could feel it as he stood there, leaning into the man who'd managed to turn his life upside down on a regular basis since their first meeting. Mulder was aware of relief, of the feeling of having been granted a reprieve, a second chance. He placed a kiss on Krycek's nose. Then stepped back. "Sit down. Did you bring the information?" 

Krycek stared at him, unable to determine what Mulder's intentions were. "Yeah, I did. Here," he reached into a pocket and brought out a disk. He tossed it onto the table, where it landed with a slapping sound as it whirled nearly to the edge but didn't fall off. "So, what? What now? Want to shoot me? I really couldn't care less at this point. Maybe I ought to just let you do it this time." 

"I said, sit down. Come on, sit." Mulder didn't sound angry. He sounded reflective, actually. Krycek moved past him, going to the couch. Alex sat, his leather jacket creaking loudly in the surreal silence. He couldn't believe he was taking this chance, after all that had happened between them. Things would be easier if he'd just left it the way they were. But the thought of Mulder crying over him had broken down his resolve. And the way Mulder looked at him... This new look in Mulder's eyes was different than before. 

Mulder came to stand before him. Looking down at him, Mulder shook his head. "What you did was an act of cowardice, Alex. The way you left things with me." 

"Was it, now? The way I see it, _Fox_ , it was an act of self-preservation. Imagine my very real fear after the way I left you that you'd be after my scalp. Never mind that you'd had a taste of your own medicine. You always were bad at taking it. You can dish out easy enough though, can't you?" But Krycek wasn't sneering. He sounded dejected and beaten. And his knees were shaking; he was still trembling all over. 

Mulder didn't miss this fact. He stepped closer, nearly between Krycek's boots, aware of the nudity and vulnerability of his bare feet. Staring down at him, Mulder gave him a half-smile. "I mourned for you; I actually grieved for you. You bastard." And he leaned down. 

Krycek froze and almost flinched, expecting Mulder to hit him. But Mulder was slowly climbing atop him, right into Alex's lap, assaulting his face with inexorable kisses as he pressed him back against the couch. "I had a feeling; I _thought_ it was you, earlier tonight. You could have just told me, you know," Mulder whispered against his neck, below his right ear. 

Krycek brought his arm up awkwardly to Mulder's back, placing his hand against the man's t-shirt. Mulder smelled fresh and recently showered. Jesus. He tried to ignore the reflexive twitch of his cock and surge of heat that bolted through him at having Mulder sitting in his lap. Krycek chuckled, bitterly, without humor. "Come on, that really would've been cowardly, to do it in the chat. At least I had the balls to come tell you in person. For all I know, you could still finish the job for real. It wouldn't be the first time you've given me good reason to think you wanted to." 

It was Mulder's turn to suppress a wince. "There are games, and then there's cruelty, Alex. You got me back, okay? I admit it; what I did to you wasn't—nice. But you got me. Even though I apologized. I tried to tell you I was sorry. Maybe..." he paused, running a hand over Krycek's cheek, making it difficult for Krycek to focus on what Mulder was saying, the gesture was too tender, "maybe I paid for it finally with your stunt, letting me believe you were dead. I believed it, I really did. So why'd you come here? Why come back? Why not let me continue to believe you were dead and out the picture? You might have been safer that way. Why come here—unless you _do_ care?" 

Krycek debated telling him the truth. The tip of his tongue flicked against his lips. Damn it, having Mulder sitting on him was not exactly helping him to—what? What had he expected to achieve by coming here, anyway? 

"What made you change your mind?" Mulder repeated, facing him squarely, not letting go of him. 

Krycek stared up at him. He slowly replied, "I thought, maybe, you really did miss me. That there was a chance you cared, after all. You had no reason to lie to a stranger; I figured you meant it earlier, online." 

Mulder felt a sinking feeling at Krycek's words. "So, you didn't come here tonight because you wanted to? You didn't maybe miss _me_?" 

"Fuck!" Alex swore, angrily, his arm tightening around Mulder. "I would've done anything, _anything_ for you. All you had to do was ask, or just tell me it meant something to you. I—" he looked back up into Mulder's eyes. With Mulder still crouched on him, it was impossible to lie about it. Where was the point? "I missed you. God, I missed you. I wanted it to be real, Mulder." The very real pain in his voice was matched by the expression in his eyes. That, and the despair. 

With a moan, Mulder leaned into him again, kissing his neck. "Don't ever, ever scare me like that again. Or I really will shoot you, Alex!" And relaxed, slumping against him, holding him. 

Alex wondered if maybe there was a chance after all to finally go beyond the games. "Don't give me a reason to, and I won't," he promised, hoarsely. "And don't think I enjoyed it, because I didn't. I imagined you celebrating that I was finally leaving you alone, not bothering you anymore, that I was out of your life." 

That was too much for Mulder, to hear the sincerity in Krycek's voice as he said it, on top of the recent grief he'd felt tearing through him earlier, and he wept again, from relief and also guilt, as well as simple pain, pressing his face into Krycek's neck. 

Krycek was concerned at Mulder's tremors, the silent hot tears leaking down the skin of his neck, and he sat there rubbing Mulder's back and just murmuring soothingly, wondering what to say. "What do you want, Mulder?" 

Finally, Mulder pulled back and said, "Stay. Just—stay." 

With a sad smile, Krycek said, "Only if you forgive me, for that—that last time. Mulder, you have no idea how hard it was to leave you there. I didn't want to. I didn't feel I had any choice." 

"It's a deal." And Mulder kissed him, stopped to wipe at his own nose, and brush at his eyes. "Come on, let's take this in there." He motioned towards the bedroom with a lift of his chin. At Krycek's hesitation, Mulder said slowly, "You do want to, don't you?" It was rather hard to ignore the state of Krycek's arousal under him. 

"Of course I do. Just—this—might not be the best way to clear the air." And he leaned forward, pulling Fox back into him, kissing him slowly, sweetly, and more gently than Mulder expected. And then said sadly, "If you'd rather not continue this, come the morning, I'm willing to play along. But just for right now, can we drop the shit, the pretense and the fucking games?" 

Mulder frowned slightly. "I won't change my mind, I won't. But yeah, let's drop all that. I need you, Alex." He gave into it, the intense desire to just kiss the man he was virtually writhing on top of with the need to remind himself that Alex was still alive. That it _was_ real. "Why? What is it to you? Really?" 

"Because I lo—want you, I want you," Krycek said, against his lips, into his mouth, "I want you." 

END

* * *

July 2001   
Disclaimer: This belongs to Frankie and Lucy Snowe, as an epilogue to their series Hit and Run, which I have loved to distraction ever since I first read it. It never fails to move me to tears and I had to finally write a closing piece for it. It is intended to honor their series and not to replace the ending, rather to offer an alternative sense of closure. I just hope that it is within character of the original fic enough, and that I have stayed true to the overall feeling of the story. I don't think this is the last time I'll want to do this, either. [g] I highly recommend this series; it is excellent.   
Rating: R for m/m content.   
Series: Hit and Run   
Summary: Krycek knocks on the door, waiting for Mulder's reaction to find he is still among the living.   
Note: I have shown this to Frankie and posted it with her approval.   
Feedback: [email removed]   
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